Readers wrote
in with their nominees for this column's first-ever Most
Annoying Lingo awards (the Mallies). Find out which phrases they
would like purged from our professional conversations.
By
Anne Fisher, FORTUNE senior
writer
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Dear friends,
while musing (well, okay, griping) two weeks ago about little
irritants like the expression "think outside the box" or "keep
me in the loop," I asked you to tell me which expressions in
common business use today make you grit your teeth -- and, man,
did you tell me. I confess I was surprised at the sheer volume
of your answers, many of which were hilarious. Thanks -- I had a
great time reading them! And I'm sure you will too. You even
might be surprised to find out how many of these frustrating
phrases wind up in your own conversations. (I'm guilty of using
one on occasion.) Now, without further ado, let's start going
through the nominees. I've listed them in order of the number of
votes that they received. So you'll have to read all the way to
the end to find out this year's Mallie winners for Most Annoying
Lingo. Hint: The first President Bush popularized one of them.
-
Bottom
line,
when it refers "not to an entry on a financial statement but
to a conclusion the speaker wants to force you to accept,"
writes KB.
-
Shooting
someone an e-mail
or firing off an e-mail. "This makes me cringe,"
writes Mary.
-
A
challenge
or an issue, when what the speaker really means is a
problem.
-
No-brainer.
Suggests Mitch, "Maybe we could redefine this to mean a
person who says it."
-
"At the
end of the day..."
Several readers complained that attorneys nowadays seem to
start every other sentence this way. Adds Brian T., "At the
end of the day, what really bugs me is people saying 'at the
end of the day.'" Is he a lawyer?
-
"Isn't
this cool?"
Heard at "any Microsoft presentation of any new software,"
one reader notes. "Is it a rhetorical question, or do these
people have a very limited vocabulary?"
-
Hit the
ground running.
Oops. I used this one in a recent magazine column. Sorry!
-
Touch
base,
as in "Let's touch base on this tomorrow." Says Bill G.: "I
don't want to touch anyone's base. It sounds as if it would
lead to a sexual harassment lawsuit."
-
Going
forward,
as in, "Going forward, let's try not to use so many dumb
clichés." Wonders Dave M: "What else would we do? Go back in
time?" As if!
-
Win-win.
The cynics among us loathe this one with a passion. Writes
Stacy, "It could as easily be 'lose-lose,' since neither
party really wins." Okay, then!
-
Core
competencies.
"If I hear the head of my division use this phrase one more
time, I'm going to throw something at him," writes Jim.
"Something heavy." Yikes. Division heads everywhere, you've
been warned.
-
Mission-critical.
Some of you hate this expression because it is frequently
used to imply that one person's contribution to a project is
less important than someone else's. Others, meanwhile, just
think it sounds pretentious when businesspeople talk as if
they were flying the Space Shuttle.
-
Thought
leader.
"Can you please kill this expression?" asks P.J. "It was bad
enough to see PR people describe someone as a thought
leader, but when I saw someone call himself a thought leader
in his own bio, I wanted to throw up."
-
Reference
used as a verb, as in, "Please reference page 12 in your
training guide." What's wrong with the (grammatically
correct) phrase "refer to" -- or just "look at?"
-
Ping,
as in "I'll ping you on this when I hear back from legal."
This bit of tech jargon "has jumped the fence into the
non-tech world," writes Scott. Let's send it back.
-
There is
no "I" in "team."
Some of
you are so weary of hearing this, you've taken to snapping,
"But there is an 'M', and look! An 'E'!" Tsk, tsk.
-
Radar
screen,
as in, "I'd like to get on your radar screen for a meeting
next week." Asks Oliver, "What are we, air traffic
controllers?"
-
Bleeding
edge,
as in, "This is bleeding-edge technology." Yuck. Can we put
this one out of its misery?
-
Keep me
posted or I'll keep you posted.
Notes one astute reader, "These are usually
conversation-enders indicating that no further information
will be exchanged."
-
Circle
back
, as in, "I'm just circling back to you on this", which is
often "a cutesy way of pestering you for a progress report
that you're probably not ready to give," says Kate.
-
On the
same page.
Third runner-up: 78 readers wrote to say they would be happy
never to hear anyone say this again. Ever.
-
Cheerleader,
as in calling oneself a cheerleader for a project or goal at
work. Second runner-up, with 87 votes. "Can't we leave high
school behind us?" asks D.B.
-
Value
proposition.
Oy. "What
is this exactly, and why does everything have to have one?"
wonders Valerie. Tied for first runner-up with....
-
One off.
This is a
comparatively new figure of speech frequently used to mean
"privately," as in, "You and I will talk about this one off,
after the meeting." It is also apparently why, according to
many of you, nothing gets decided in meetings anymore.
Now for the
winners, each nominated by more than 100 readers. May I have the
envelopes, and a drum roll, please? The first 2005 Mallie award
for Most Annoying Lingo goes to "new paradigm" (and its evil
twin, "paradigm shift", also widely despised). Next, a big
Mallie to the word "bandwidth," when it is used to refer to
people. "Do we have to call hiring people adding bandwidth?"
asks Lauren. Another reader, echoing the general consensus,
called referring to human beings as bandwidth "appalling."
And last but
not least -- are you ready? -- a tepid round of applause,
please, for our final Mallie winner, and I'm sure you'll all
agree this one is richly deserved: Any phrase -- uttered by any
businessperson at all, at any time, for any reason -- that
contains the word "vision."
Published
online at
CNNMoney.com
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