What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.

 -- Ralph Waldo Emerson (bio)

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When it comes to reaching an end to a social conflict by use of communication, skill in listening, assertion, and conflict resolution are required so as to use collaborative problem solving. In addition, you need to recognize a process that works for you in order to reach a solution. Below is a 6-step sample Collaborative Problem-Solving Method.

• Plan who will do what solution to implement Sometimes the solution is such an accomplishment that execution is overlooked and taken for granted. The parties involved need to decide who will do what, where and by when. If essential, write down your agreement, date it, and sign it.

• Implement the plan. The first four points in the problem-solving process are generally resolved during your first discussion. Now it is time to act. Ensure to follow through and do what you promised. If the implementation falls short for whatever reason, it may require an assertive message and reflective listening to avoid ensuing conflict.

• Evaluate the process and the solution. It is vital for the parties involved to question the collaborative process. Helpful points to believe in your evaluation include; What did each person like about the process? What did each person like least about the process? What can each party do better next time?

• Define the problem/Assert your needs. Listen thoughtfully until you understand the other person’s needs. Include those needs in a short summary of the problem. Aside from for very simple and difficult problems, allow five to 20 minutes for this step. As you may have heard before, “A problem well defined is half solved.”

• Brainstorm possible solutions. Brainstorming is the rapid listing of possible solutions devoid of any clarification, evaluation, or judgment. Brainstorming focuses on quantity, not quality. It is particular for you not to come into a problem-solving session with the attitude that there is only one adequate solution to the conflict.

Select a mutually satisfying solution. Suggest more than one solution to the problem, and then ask your adversary which of the proposed alternatives he favors to solve the problem. State which alternatives look most excellent to you? See which choices coincide. Then jointly decide on one or more of the alternatives.   Ensure your opponent is satisfied with the solution. Once you have agreed to a solution, it is significant to try to foresee the possible consequences of the solution.

You can find this article online in the Selfhelpzone at

http://www.selfhelpzone.com/communication-skills/collaborative-problem-solving-for-ending-social-conflict-a-6-step-method-2/

Bronwyn Ritchie's Pivotal Points

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