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Q: Are people jealous of the Irish?
A: Sure, they're green with envy!
Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the
potato?
A: To keep from falling in the stew!
Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman
to the pot of gold?
A: He took a shortcut!
Q: What is Irish diplomacy?
A: It's the ability to tell a man to go to
hell. So that he will look forward to making
the trip
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's
Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
Q: What do you call a Cubic Zirconia in
Ireland?
A: A sham rock
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
A: Because they're always wearing green
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish
Potato?
A: When it's a FRENCH fry!
Q: What does it mean when you find a
horseshoe?
A: Some poor horse is going barefoot!
Q: Why did the elephant wear his green
sneakers instead of his red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash!
O'Gara was arrested and sent for trial for
armed bank robbery.
After due deliberation, the jury foreman
stood up and announced, 'Not guilty.'
'That's grand,' shouted O'Gara, 'Does that
mean I get to keep the
money?'
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man
wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes
out of Ireland?
A: He couldn't afford the plane fare
Q: Have you ever heard of the 6-leaf clover?
A: I haven't either!
Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind
4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
A: They need all the luck they can get!
Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into
a river?
A: He gets wet!
Spanish singer Julio
Iglesias was on television with British TV
host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'.
Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.
He said that the term means "maybe the job
will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day,
maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week,
next month, or next year. Who cares?"
The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who
was also on the show and
asked him if there was an equivalent term in
Irish.
"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to
describe that degree of urgency." replied
Brennan.
Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It
counts as a vegetable!
Never iron a four lover because you don't
want to press your luck.
Gardening made easy!
An old man living alone in South Armagh,
whose only
son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't
have anyone to dig his garden for his
potatoes.
So he wrote to his son about
his predicament.
The son sent the reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE,
don't dig
the garden up, that's where I buried
the
guns!!!!!"
At 3 AM the next morning, a dozen British
soldiers
turned up
and dug the garden for 3 hours, but
didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling
him what had happened, asking him
what he should do now?
The son sent the reply: "NOW
plant the potatoes!"
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