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Cold Weather Behaviour…
"Cold" is a relative term.
Use the handy list below to overcome the confusion.
Degrees (Fahrenheit)
(This
is definitely American, so for you Australians perhaps
you could substitute “Canberra” or “Hobart” for
Minnesota, and Gold Coast or Cairns for California …)
75 above zero
Aussies put on sweaters
(if they can find one in their wardrobe)
(technically, they call it a jumper, which explains why
they can't find a "sweater")
65
above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Minnesotans
plant gardens.
Hawaiians declare a
two-blanket night
60 above zero Californians put on
sweaters (if they can find one)
50
above zero: Californians and Vancouerites shiver
uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Duluth.
You can see your breath
40
above zero: Minnesotans drive with the sunroof open.
Italian cars
don't start. Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts.
Minnesotans go swimming
32
above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in
Bemidji gets thicker.
25 above zero: Ohio water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice
cream. Canadians go swimming
20
above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool
hats & mittens. Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt.
Maritimers
put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to talk about
the homeless. British cars don't start. New
York City water freezes. Miami residents plan
vacation further South
15
above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota have one last cookout before it gets
cold.
Toronto water freezes. Vancouverites weep
pitiably. Manitobans eat ice cream on the patio.
Maritimers go swimming.
10 above zero: You need jumper
cables to get the car going
5 above zero: You can hear your
breath. Politicians begin to talk about the
homeless. Montreal water freezes
Zero:
Miami
residents cease to exist.
Minnesotans close the windows.
Alaskans put on T-shirts
4 below zero: French cars don't
start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Cat
insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10
below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico.
Minnesotans dig their winter coats out of storage.
Too cold to ski. Manitobans do up the top button.
German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you
blink
15 below zero: You can cut your
breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans
stick tongue on metal objects.
20 below zero: Cat insists on
sleeping in your pyjamas with you. Politicians
actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars
don't start
25
below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in
Minnesota still selling cookies door to door.
American cars don't
start. Yukoners put on T-shirts. Too cold to
skate.
30 below zero: German cars don't start.
Swedish cars don't start
40
below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot
air. People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.
Ottawans
shovel snow off roof. Canadians put on sweaters.
Your car helps you plan your trip South
50 below zero Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the
bathroom window
60 below zero: You plan a two week
hot bath (if you could only thaw the water). The
St Lawrence freezes over.
70 below zero: Vancouverites
disappear. Maritimers put on sweaters. Other
Canadians put on overcoats. Your car helps you
plan your trip South, but won't start
80 below zero: Yukoners close the
bathroom window. Hell freezes over. Polar
bears move South. Viking Fans order hot cocoa at
the game
90 below zero: Lawyers put their
hands in their own pockets
100
below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.
460
below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on
the Kelvin scale). People in Minnesota can be heard to
say, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500
below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools
open 2 hours late
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