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Q: Are people jealous of the Irish?
A: Sure, they're green with envy!
Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the
potato?
A: To keep from falling in the stew!
Q: How did the leprechaun beat the
Irishman to the pot of gold?
A: He took a shortcut!
Q: What is Irish diplomacy?
A: It's the ability to tell a man to go
to hell. So that he will look forward to
making the trip
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's
Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
Q: What do you call a Cubic Zirconia in
Ireland?
A: A sham rock
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
A: Because they're always wearing green
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish
Potato?
A: When it's a FRENCH fry!
Q: What does it mean when you find a
horseshoe?
A: Some poor horse is going barefoot!
Q: Why did the elephant wear his green
sneakers instead of his red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash!
O'Gara was arrested and sent for trial
for armed bank robbery.
After due deliberation, the jury foreman
stood up and announced, 'Not guilty.'
'That's grand,' shouted O'Gara, 'Does
that mean I get to keep the
money?'
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy
man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the
snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn't afford the plane fare
Q: Have you ever heard of the 6-leaf
clover?
A: I haven't either!
Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind
4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
A: They need all the luck they can get!
Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls
into a river?
A: He gets wet!
Spanish singer Julio
Iglesias was on television with British
TV host Anne Diamond when he used the
word 'manyana'. Diamond asked him to
explain what it meant.
He said that the term means "maybe the
job will be done tomorrow, maybe the
next day, maybe the day after that.
Perhaps next week, next month, or next
year. Who cares?"
The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan
who was also on the show and
asked him if there was an equivalent
term in Irish.
"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to
describe that degree of urgency."
replied Brennan.
Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It
counts as a vegetable!
Never iron a four lover because you
don't want to press your luck.
Gardening made easy!
An old man living alone in South Armagh,
whose
only son was in Long Kesh Prison,
didn't have anyone to dig his garden for
his potatoes.
So he wrote to his son
about his predicament.
The son sent the reply, "For HEAVENS
SAKE,
don't
dig the garden up, that's where I buried
the
guns!!!!!"
At 3 AM the next morning, a dozen
British soldiers
turned
up and dug the garden for 3 hours,
but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son
telling him what had happened,
asking him what he should do now?
The son sent the reply:
"NOW plant the potatoes!"
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