Tag Archive for: attitude

How You Can Thrive in The Emerging New Paradigm

 

Change is everywhere, sweeping through our lives and leaving no-one untouched. It is driving us inward to identify and process our individual sense of loss and grief, asking us to let go of our attachment to what was before. This process is two-fold: the dissolution of an old paradigm, and the emergence of a new paradigm, in which you can thrive when you understand how to navigate.

After the storm has swept through, there will be a time for rebuilding. New life will emerge again, and we can find renewed hope by preparing ourselves for life after this.

But right now, during this time of loss and death, the failures of the old paradigm are laid bare for all to see. No matter how painful, we first need to acknowledge these shortcomings if we wish to build a better future and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

This period of global death and rebirth offers seed forms of new ways of living to participate more effectively in creating a society that benefits all. We are shifting from a linear, three-dimensional paradigm to a non-linear, multidimensional paradigm.

By understanding the navigational limitations of the old paradigm, we can embrace the possibilities of a new, higher level of consciousness to steer us forward. I'd like to offer you a navigational perspective for the emerging multidimensional paradigm, as well as a functional roadmap for levelling up perceptions to support our unfolding potential in this new paradigm.

The navigational system of the old paradigm

The navigational system of the duality-based paradigm consisted of a three-step process, which can be recognized in every major event of recent decades:

1. Problem

Problems are typically labelled as such not at the grassroots level, but by leadership, the media or both. It may be a false flag or it may have merit. Either way, attention is then focused on managing such problems superficially, often at the cost of ignoring deeper, systemic issues. This process of labelling certain issues as problems while ignoring others was ego-driven, short-sighted and often exploited for personal gain.

2. Reaction

Once a 'problem' is labelled by ego, it triggers an egoic response in others at the same level of consciousness, because it resonates at that level throughout the collective. Ego responses commonly evoke fear, anger, blame, shame and greed. These emotions trigger the ego's survival response in humans, narrowing their focus to black/white dualistic thinking and blocking creativity. Often, ego-based leadership continues to fuel the flames with 'evidence' of just how bad the problem is, thereby heightening public reactivity.

Related: Dysfunctional Environments: What Is A Dysfunctional Environment?

3. Solution

Once people are whipped into a frenzy of fear and reactivity, blinded to alternatives by their basic survival instincts, a 'solution' is offered - yet the offered 'solution' is merely a smokescreen for more nefarious agendas of power and control. And so, a superficial solution is sold by manipulative egos to fear-based egos without truly addressing core issues. Such solutions are always bound to fail because they go no further than the ego's survival instinct and perpetuate the reactive cycle of problem - reaction -solution.

There is a gift embedded in this crisis: We have the opportunity to step out of ashes of this limited paradigm by embracing higher perspectives to create more equitable processes for our world.

The navigational system of the new paradigm

The emerging new paradigm operates at multidimensional levels of consciousness, not just at the egoic level of survival. It fosters a growing consensus that to effectively address issues, we need to do so from a higher level of consciousness than where the problem originated. Einstein told us this more than a century ago!

Operating from higher levels of awareness expands awareness of multiple options and supports more empowered decision-making. To transcend the old paradigm of problem - reaction - solution, I would like to offer you three concepts for effective navigation in a new paradigm: Awareness, Neutralization and Discernment.

These three concepts form the acronymAND: together, they symbolize an inclusive, multi-dimensional perspective in addressing issues. We do not live in a simplistic, dualistic world of this or that; we live in a multidimensional Universe where this and that, and a multitude of other possibilities, coexist. To navigate effectively in this emerging paradigm, it is imperative for us to start working with these higher navigational skills:

1. Awareness

We cannot heal, fix or change that which we are not aware of. Ignoring problems does not make them go away. Who decides what the important issues are? What lies beneath the symptoms masquerading as problems in our society? If we are to make meaningful change, we need to think for ourselves, educate ourselves and learn to decide for ourselves. We are all responsible for life on this planet and our individual choices matter. To create true meaning and purpose in life, we need to use our Divinely given free will to learn, analyze and choose for ourselves!

2. Neutralization

When we become aware of an issue that causes dissonance or imbalance, it is not helpful to judge or blame others for the situation. Doing that, makes us a part of the problem! Feeling off-balance is a symptom of old, dense emotions in us that need to be processed. As long as we look outside ourselves for a scapegoat, we cannot evolve in consciousness. The planet needs us to evolve or else we will all become extinct. It is time to own the shadow in us because the teaching will continue until the lesson is learnt. We need to neutralize all dense emotion, no matter who caused it, so we can transform that energy into higher levels of consciousness. By neutralizing the dense emotion inside us, we are letting go of the ego's grip on us while creating space for higher frequencies of forgiveness, love and faith. Neutralization of the old energies frees us to find a better way.

3. Discernment

Finding optimal solutions are easier when there are no discrepancies in our value systems and we are no longer manipulated by the ego in ourselves or others. In order to find the way forward, we need to take a higher perspective on issues and evaluate options from multiple levels. Once we can see multiple options, we can discern the most optimal. We need to navigate from our inner discernment instead of being manipulated from outside. Solutions that look great at first, may be exposed as flawed once we evaluate them from multiple levels in terms of both content and context. Discernment always guides us to optimal decisions, and it is a skill we can all learn.



Upgrading our systems of perception

To effectively navigate in the emergent multidimensional paradigm, we also need to upgrade our systems of perception. The old paradigm of duality-consciousness thrived on ego-based positions - we defined who we were by opposing what we were not. We let the ego control the agenda through our thoughts, feelings and emotions. These forms of awareness, while useful, are subject to the whims of ego and become limited in a multidimensional world. If we wish to rebuild a better society, we need to upgrade these basic areas of perception to operate from higher level of understanding, love and perfection:

1. From Thinking to Understanding

Knowledge for its own sake is a self-limiting ego activity. Knowledge which embraces both content and the appropriate context for its application, on the other hand, fosters wisdom and offers understanding. We need to learn, apply and become the change we wish to see. We need to allow our learning to transform us first, so our presence comes from a place of knowledge and integrity. This gives us a solid basis for empowered decision-making.

2. From Feelings to Love

In the old paradigm, it was easy to nurse feelings of woundedness and having been wronged. In the long term, wallowing in such feelings keeps us stuck in the ego's victim-consciousness and its endless need for validation or revenge. It is time to free ourselves from these emotions by doing the work of inner healing: forgiving the perpetrators by understanding that wounded people cannot help but wound others, and by recognizing the shadow in us that is capable of the same. When we heal and release these primal emotions, we find that our natural resting place in consciousness becomes more loving: not the schmaltzy Hollywood type of temporal and conditional love, but an abiding, unconditional love for all forms of life. This higher expression of love goes hand in hand with compassion and wisdom.

Our task is to become less affected by fleeting feelings and emotions and to ground our actions in the unconditional love of the Creator. From there, we are able to co-create optimal solutions instead of placating our egos by seeking scapegoats to blame.

3. From Positionality to Perfection

In an ego-driven mindset, everything is viewed from the perception of how it could serve the ego's needs and further its own self-interest at the expense of another. The ego thrives on taking a position on everything. To feel justified or important, it needs to label things as good or bad, right or wrong. In so doing, it keeps the focus on problems or wrongs instead of working toward solutions. Expanding awareness of All That Is, on the other hand, allows dualistic viewpoints to drop away until we can behold the magnificence of Consciousness unfolding and enfolding in Divine perfection. As the limiting positionalities of duality-consciousness drop away, we step into the beauty and perfection of All That Is. The Master plan of creation is always a plan of perfection because it emanates from a perfect Creator.

This is the optimal position from where we can create a healthier, beneficial society. We can become active co-creators in the emergent multidimensional paradigm by upgrading our systems of perception and functioning. By evolving as individuals, we will thrive at higher levels than before as a collective also.

The world we've dreamed of is waiting to be born - and we are the ones who will define the parameters by our individual levels of evolution. We create from the level of consciousness we embody. Let's become fearless in our personal evolution, knowing that transformation within us also ripples out to benefit the collective. Let's heal and transform at every level of our being to co-create and thrive in the emerging new paradigm around us!

Ada Porat is a kinesiologist and pastoral counsellor who founded Stillpoint Holistic Services, a centre for healing and transformation that serves clients around the world. She is passionate about helping clients live their best lives. Ada can be reached at https://AdaPorat.com.

 

Your Attitude’s Impact On Mind And Body During COVID-19 Crisis

My front window gives onto the street, and every day I see people walking their dogs. Maybe a half dozen folk in all, giving their pups some exercise. But over the last week, since California went on "lock-down," I'm utterly amazed by the number of people walking. With dogs, without dogs, with children, on their own, pushing strollers; it's a wonder to behold because along with the benefits of fresh air and exercise, these walkers are stimulating their immune systems.

And what, along with following the CDC and WHO guidelines, does the most to protect you from COVID-19? Strengthening your immune system, which--in a nutshell--is your body's defence against disease. We already know that the coronavirus is deadliest among those with compromised or weakened immune systems. Maintaining/developing a strong immune system can go a long way toward our staying healthy.

That being said, you can only walk so much in one day. Gyms are closed, both my dance studios are closed, soccer games and other group sports are cancelled. Working out at home to YouTube videos is great, but again, limited by how much "no pain no gain" one is willing to endure.



But here's the good news: there are 2 things you can do right now in the privacy of your own home to significantly improve your immune system.

1. Institute The 5-minute Pity Party.

I don't know about you, but my first response to my finding out my ballet and ballroom classes were shut down indefinitely was to call my BFF and whine. Loudly. For a good 15 minutes. Poor woman, I'm surprised we're still BFFs. Oddly enough, when all my work cancelled, I didn't have a melt-down, because at that point I still had dance to help me keep my sanity. But once the dance classes went, that's it, I lost it.

That's when I knew I needed to institute the 5-minute Pity Party. The 5-minute Pity Party is when you acknowledge that you need to rant, rave, whine and generally have a FIT over whatever aspect of your life has just been nuked by the coronavirus. It doesn't matter whether it's your job you can't go to, your child who now relies on you 24-7 for all education, entertainment, maintenance, etc., or your gym/church/class you can't go to, it's time for a release of your anguish. Fine.

Set a timer for 5 minutes. Have at it! In the safety of your shower, bathroom, parked car, wherever you have maximum privacy, let it all out. Scream if need be at the injustice of it all, wail your despair at what seems to be a hopeless situation, and cry out your woe-is-me to your heart's content. But when that timer dings, you're done. Pick yourself up off the floor of misery and regroup. Move on to step 2.

2. Value What You Can Today For A Better Tomorrow.

There are actually 2 parts to this step. One is how you think/feel, the other is what you do.

A. Think/Feel

Look around you. What can you appreciate about your life right here, right now? You still enjoy running water and electricity, you still have a roof over your head. Don't let thoughts like "Yeah, but for how long?" intrude. You still have whatever health you enjoy. You still have your friends/family. You have endless access to resources via the internet. Dwell on whatever you can find to appreciate, to value and be grateful for, because that single action will have a dramatic, positive impact on your immune system.

You see, when we think/feel negativity, our immune systems suffer. And when our immune systems cease functioning optimally, our health can rapidly decline. So bolster your positive thinking as much as you can. Turn yourself into an optimist. Because optimists thrive-and so should you.



B. Do

Get creative! What's the best possible use of the time you now have? Many are finding that with a little creativity they can continue some or all of their business using online platforms mostly from home. There are always projects we let go by the wayside for lack of time, how about picking up some of those now?

Make daily (realistic) lists of what you want to accomplish, and check off items as you get them done. You will feel productive like you're not just spinning your wheels, and with that, your immune system will benefit. In the long term, so will your life.

In every crisis, there is opportunity for new growth, new inspiration. Let's keep our moments of dark despair as brief as possible and amp our times of appreciation as much as possible so that we come out of this challenging situation stronger and better than ever.

Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. She is the author of "Happy Healthy... Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right" (MindLab Publishing). You Matter. You Count. You Are Important. Visit http://www.noellenelson.com, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings

 

Inspirational quote from Earl Nightingale

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The Philosophy of My Father – One Does Not Get Lost The Year His Goat Got Lost

By the time each of us has lived on this earth for fifteen years and above, something challenging, life threatening, integrity rubbishing, heart-rending, etc might have happened to us.

These kinds of things do not stop happening to us as the years go by either as a result of our great experiences in life or wisdom. Adversity, trials, temptations, heartaches, sicknesses, accidents and deaths of loved ones are intertwined with our very existence on this earth. Many of us start experiencing and suffering the impact of these at very tender ages and may live with such most of our earth life.

My father was a man who probably saw many of such in his life. He lived to be three score and thirteen years of age by our own guessing from the stories told of his age mates whose parents or senior siblings had western education and were able to keep a record of their dates of birth. He was fatherless at a young age and was persecuted by his father’s brothers. The last born of his father and mother who did not have the benefit of being supported by his father who died early in life, he was given up for someone who would turn up to no good.

One of the things we learned from our father is his excitement for having come thus far in life in spite of everything.

He was able to get married and had eleven of us by his one wife. Nine survived into adulthood, one died as a few days old infant while another died as a child.

Before he died, he did look back on his life and expressed gratitude for his achievements in raising children and securing the name of his father from extinction. He taught us many things in his conversations and counsels.

One of the things he repeated many times when he visited with any of us who were troubled and when he visited with sorrowing families who have lost a dear one is that “one does not get lost the year his goat got lost”.

In those days, this statement did not make much sense to me. But today with age, experience and personal desire and philosophy to help and support people to work through their life’s challenges as a life and personal development coach, I see the great point that my father was making as he counselled and supported us growing up and as he counselled with grieving families.

There is a popular saying that relates to this philosophy of my father - “It is not what happened to you that would hurt you, it is how you react to it.” When we react negatively to challenging situations in our lives, we get more impacted by the adversity. But if we would stop, think deeply (not worry) about what has happened to us, we would usually get insights that help us respond rather than react to the incident or situation.

The next time you face challenging situations, adversity, trials and temptations, it would be helpful if you would remember this philosophy of my father which means that you should not be destroyed by what has happened to you. If you would, you may, instead, follow the counsels contained in my book, “Growing From Your Experiences” to learn ways you could convert the life’s challenges, trials, temptations and adversity into opportunities for growth in wisdom and wealth.

Francis Nmeribe is a personal transformation teacher and industrial security practitioner from Nigeria. Contact Francis Nmeribe at  http://bit.ly/2hvoWAm

9 Attitudes of Successful Business Owners

entrepreneur

 

Your attitude that you show up with each day has a lasting impact on your behavior that affects your outcomes. A person's attitude is an expression of their mindset at any time and in any given situation. Your attitude represents a feeling that can be changed instantly or maintained for a lifetime.

Why is this important?

It is important to understand the attitudes of the most successful business owners so you can emulate them and move your business forward.

Let's begin.

1) Success Business owners are passionate about the success/value they can create. Unsuccessful ones are more passionate about watching people on TV live out their dreams in sports, movies shows etc. than actually going out and creating the life they want.

Action Steps:

Consider any major success story - what did they have in common?

· Passion for the value they could create.

· Ask yourself am I really passionate about my project?

· Is this passion sufficient to take me through all the ups and downs that I can expect in growing and scaling my business?

· If the passion is really not there - stop and rethink your next move carefully.

· As the old expression goes - "Don't climb your business ladder to only learn it is leaning against the wrong wall".

2) Successful owners maintain a positive mental attitude as a steady state condition. Unsuccessful ones have a mental state that changes and varies with outside circumstances.

Why is this important?

Many times in life you rise and fall to your level of expectations.

If you start with a Negative Mental Attitude you are likely to not fully apply yourself and get results consistent with your expectations.

Life is too short to be grumpy and you will attract other people who are also grumpy and will pull you down.

A positive mental attitude is not sufficient but it is a requirement to succeed.

Action Steps:

· Change your attitude right now by focusing all your thinking on what you are grateful for.

· You cannot maintain two completely different thoughts in your mind at the same time.

3) Successful owners are hyper consciousness about what they are thinking and their attitude at any given point in time. When they feel their attitude turning towards the worse they take massive evasive action to change their attitude since they know their attitude determines their altitude in life. Unsuccessful Business owners allow their emotions derived from their environment to run unchecked. They pay little attention to what they are thinking about and emotionally move with the current. Unsuccessful Business owners are not in control of their mental state.

Action Step:

· Take time at multiple points during the day and ask yourself: "What are my thoughts and feelings on ________ (the most pressing issue for you right now).

· Journal those thoughts and then analyze why you think the way you do.

4) Successful Business owners understand the importance of understanding the root of fear so they can eliminate it before it impacts their attitude. Successful Business owners have an abundance-oriented attitude and believe there is more than enough for everyone. Unsuccessful ones never get to the root of their fears and correspondingly their attitude is impacted. Unsuccessful Business owners have a scarcity-oriented attitude and believe that the pie is only so big - for them to prosper someone must suffer.

Action Steps:

· Write down a list of what you are fearful of.

· Separate the fears into two columns.

· Those that are rational with real consequences and those that are not rational without real consequences.

· For example jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to sky dive is a rational fear - you could die.

· Speaking to a group of 1000 industry peers at a conference is an irrational fear.

5) Successful Business owners have a can do attitude and focus on what they want irrespective of the odds. Unsuccessful ones allow the statistics of others to shape what they believe is possible and often settle in life.

Action Steps:

· Write down very clearly what you want and why you want it.

· Now go deeper and ask the question why again - you will soon discover your internal core motivation and it is this motivation that you need to harness to drive you through to achieve what you want.

· Pay no attention to the Nay Sayers and those that tell you why the odds are against you - they have already given up on their dreams and consider themselves to be "practical".

6) Successful Business owners maintain an attitude of true collaboration and cooperation with others because the notion of competition while important is not the primary focus. Successful Business owners preoccupy their mind with offering incredible service as a way to differentiate themselves and be selected by the market. Unsuccessful Business owners believe that competition is the primary focus and their attitude is they must beat their competitors into the ground. Unsuccessful Business owners preoccupy their mind with how they can hurt the competition and by accident win new customers.

Action Step:

· Develop the ideal customer journey path for your client.

· Vividly imagine how a district and delightful experience can be crafted to meet your customer where they are to help them get to where they want to go.

· Focus 100% on the customer problem and anticipating their needs because you understand them so well.

7) Successful Business owners maintain a balanced attitude and seldom allow events in life to be taken personally. They look at life's events objectively and are careful with the labels they use. Unsuccessful Business owners love to assign labels to everything and often get very excited because they take everything personally.

Action Step:

· Exercise your intellectual asset of Perception - whenever you examine a new idea - turn it over in your mind to see things from all perspectives.

· Be very careful before you assign a label to something as being "good" or as being "bad" because these choices impact your thinking downstream.

· For example if you lose a key customer and associated this as a "Terrible Loss" you cut your mind off from understating why they left and what can be done to improve the customer experience to:

· retain the rest of your clients and

· To innovate your service to attract more clients.

8) Successful owners maintain an attitude rooted in humility. Their inner self does not need this validation. Unsuccessful owners win so seldom that they want the whole world to acknowledge how great they are when it happens. Their sensitive inner self needs this validation

Action Steps:

· Objectively look at how you respond to wins and loses relative to your interactions with others

· Do you boast about your wins or are a quietly confident individual?

· Consider asking those that are very close to you this question and see what they say.

9) Successful Business owners maintain an attitude that is open to being wrong. Unsuccessful Business owners believe they are seldom wrong because they are so smart and accomplished

Action Steps:

· Make a list of mistakes you have made or were wrong about your business.

· Take a look at your financial statements and ask yourself this question again. If you struggle to see your weakness you will never address it or compensate for it through smart hires.

When you change your thoughts, actions and habits your whole life and business will change. To move you through this process, I regularly share ideas and strategies that you can implement today. One aspect of success is your career and business. Individuals who have joined early stage companies or decided to start their own company have created the majority of financial wealth. Click on http://www.RayStendall.com to watch a short video lesson about how you can drive profitable growth through building, marketing and selling products so you too can have the life you have always dreamed of.

Author:  Ray Stendall
Mr. Stendall is the President & CEO of Ray Stendall International, Inc. a San Diego-based consulting office. He is also the Publisher of Customer Engagement Magazine, Author, Activist, and board member of the Financial Policy Council.
Mr. Stendall works with small High Technology Businesses to Sell More, Save Time and Get Organized using Sales and Marketing Automation Systems and Best Practices. This approach allows his customers to make the process Acquiring and Retaining Customers easier and more predictable.

I Choose To Laugh

Awakened by the phone ringing at 11:35 p.m., I fumble for the receiver beside my bed. 

Who would be calling at this time of night?

"Hello," I mumble, my brain barely functioning.

"Mom, I'm not in jail." The voice at the other end belongs to my 21-year-old daughter, Rachel.

"What?" My heart is beginning to race and my imagination is running away with me. It's amazing how quickly those words fully awaken me.

"I'm not actually in jail," my daughter continues. "I'm fine. It's my car."

"What's the matter?" I ask, trying to make sense of what I am hearing.

"My car was impounded. I found out that since it's registered in your name, you have to be the one to get it out." There is a sense of urgency in her voice.

"At this hour of the night?"

I knew earlier in the day that her car had been missing. She assumed it had been towed and was trying to locate it. Now she is calling from the city impoundment lot that closed at midnight, (or so I thought.) It's located in the industrial area of a city of 900,000 people. I'm not at all familiar with that part of the city and I avoid it even in daylight. Travel there alone at night? Certainly not.

I awaken my husband, explaining the situation. Fortunately his concern for our daughter wins out over his anger at being awakened.

After driving down the freeway, we wind our way down the darkened streets in the industrial area of the city. The world is eerily silent except for an occasional passing car.
"I hope some day that she will believe the signs she reads," I say wistfully. "She parked in the half-empty parking lot of an apartment building to visit a friend this morning and ended up staying for three hours. She ignored the sign that said 'unauthorized vehicles will be towed at the owner's expense.'"

A university student, Rachel had a penchant for parking in unauthorized places in the cramped lots at school, and had already collected her share of parking tickets. However, this is her first towing experience.

When we arrive at the impoundment lot, Rachel and her room-mate are waiting for us and are in a good mood. In fact, she gets me laughing too. The woman at the desk stares at us in disbelief. No doubt she had seen a good many confrontations between angry parents and children in similar situations - or has dealt with angry car owners coming to claim their cars. No doubt laughter in her office is an extremely rare thing.

"Why are you laughing?" I ask.

"It was a choice between crying and laughing," Rachel says. "I choose to laugh."

"And why did you wait until 11:30 to pick up your car?" I ask.

She explains that although she had gotten off work at 8 p.m., she had chosen to watch her favorite T.V. program at 10 p.m. as a way to "de-stress" before she and her friend left to pick up her car.

All it takes is my husband's driver's license for identification, and she is free to take her 1991 Chevy Sprint rust bucket home. She still has a hefty fee to pay, but that's now her problem.

As my husband and I drive home, a little short of sleep, I think of other parents who get phone calls in the night from their children - who really are in jail, or from police reporting that their child was in an accident, or worse. I silently breathe a prayer of "thanks" to the Lord that our daughter is safe.

A "jailed" car is trivial in comparison to other things that could have happened. So many things in life are irritating, annoying, and inconvenient at the time, but are of no lasting consequences. I think my daughter's philosophy is a good one. I, too, choose to laugh.

Janet Seever
Copyright © 2004
The mother of two adult children, Janet Seever lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She writes for Word Alive magazine, a publication of Wycliffe Canada, and has had articles published previously in magazines and on the Web. Janet lives her life with a strong faith and still can find reasons to laugh. You can read more of her writing at: www.inscribe.org/janetseever

When or How Do You Know It’s You Who Needs to Change?

 

Are you able to be aware of when you need to change or adjust something about yourself? 

Or is it easier or more comfortable to think others and life are the ones that need to change?

One of the ways I know I need to change is when I find myself thinking thoughts in a certain way for an extended time, or I think pretty much the same types of thoughts over and over, but none of this thought activity moves me forward or causes me to feel the way I desire to. This is especially true when it involves another person's behaviors that I feel a challenge, contrast, or conflict with, and wish they'd change so I could feel better. 



What about you? 

What do you do that leads you to see the most obvious and first change to make is in you?

One of the first things we could, should, or would change is our thoughts; and fortunately for us, since we're the only ones who have them, we can address them. That random thoughts will happen spontaneously is a given. Trying to control or stop this fact is a waste of time. But you can transmute thoughts, that is redirect them, once they happen, which takes practice. However, it's important that you distinguish between thought contemplation based in a genuine desire to solve, resolve, or improve and negatively dwelling on or harping on a matter, the latter being a thought activity that will never get you to where you want to be: peaceful, no matter what.

You're going to interact with, or live with, people whose behaviors could be improved; and others will feel the same about you. When someone's behavior triggers you out of your serenity and joy, your quickest way back to those feelings is to change something in or about you, starting with your attitude, mindset, or perspective, and followed by constructive or productive words and/or actions, or even appropriate silence and inaction at times.

Visit our resources on changing attitude here 

You could say a good goal is to stay in peace and in trust in the Universe (though, this is more than a mere goal, it's a desirable way to be); but the words "stay in" puts you on the spot: Who can stay in that mindset all the time? However, as I said a moment ago about thoughts, you can transmute and redirect negative energies that surface in you, which will take practice. And this is a worthy practice because your peace and trust in the Universe are the fastest pathways for the Universe to rebalance what you perceive as having gone off-center in you and your life, in accordance with how Law of Attraction is designed to work, and does.

It's not always necessarily a simple matter to return to peace and trust once triggered by someone or an event, but it is doable. What is also doable is to practice peace and trust in the Universe before you're triggered. It's like that old saying, "A stitch in time saves nine." If you practice on smaller annoyances, you begin to fine-tune yourself for if or when larger ones come along. None of this means you deny, suppress, or never share what you feel; it's about what you do with and about your emotions that surface as a result of your feelings, and your beliefs.





When you think about seeking or having peace, you may think of a quiet place like an isolated beach or an ashram, or a walk in nature, or eliminating every annoying person or matter from your life. However, there are other ways to seek and create peace that we may not as readily think about: assessing and modifying some of our behaviors. Here are some general behaviors some may want to look at:

  • Any of your behaviors that consistently trigger or annoy someone or a number of others in a not-good way.
  • What you say and/or do in a consistent manner that doesn't cause you to feel good or better about yourself, others, and any aspect of your life or life in general.
  • You're always, nearly always, or far too often for your own good, in a negative mood or mindset.
  • You consider yourself superior to all or certain others, which always results in your mistreatment of them, and their subsequent mistreatment of you.
  • You expect and wait for anyone or anything to change, to please your ego-based needs and desires, before you feel good or happy. Note: I'm addressing ego-based needs here, not realistic or practical needs, or behavior anomalies that require real internal or external adjustment for the well-being of those involved.
  • You consistently practice negative levels of gossip or complaining (which is not the same as productive venting to an appropriate listener).
  • You're free with criticism and opinions, whether or not you're asked for these, and deliver them in ways that are non-supportive and don't encourage the understanding, illumination, or improvement you desire.
  • You get angry fast and often, and "go in with gloves on" rather than pick your battles, and pick a more appropriate time to address them.
  • You practice payback or revenge.
  • You practice unusual, non-productive, or harmful levels of self-condemnation.
  • You base your self-worth on anyone or anything external to you, and forget or ignore that you are an expression of the Universe.
  • You believe you have to do everything about or in your life, and don't include the Universe as your partner.

What you see in the above list are behaviors or practices that, if we changed or adjusted enough to not do them or not do them the same way or as often as we do, we would experience more peace. There are two ways to seek peace: where you receive (like sitting on a quiet beach or having a serene hour alone or getting a massage) and where you give yourself and others a more pleasant, peaceful experience by modifying your own behaviors that don't serve you (or them) in a good way. These are changes you can assess the need for then follow through on with practice.



We all deal with the need or necessity of change differently, especially when it's a change in us that's needed. 

Here are some very generalized descriptions of how five behavior types may approach a need for change.

  1. Aggressive types will use coercion, force, verbal abuse, and/or physical abuse against others. But, they won't necessarily recognize their aggressions as such; or if they do recognize them, they may decide they are justified. They may think this is the way to get things done the way they want them to be done: the end justifies the means. They believe little to nothing needs to change about them.
  2. Passive-Aggressive types will resist doing what they need to do or what others need or ask them to do, especially if the request is demanding or authoritative. They may toss out "zinger" statements to make someone feel guilty because they are uncomfortable speaking their truth in a better way. They believe guilt will show (or force) others the errors of their ways; and they'll mope and sulk until the change they desire is obvious and consistent. They control others, or attempt to, by making them feel at fault for how unhappy they feel.
  3. Passive types will fold their energy up like a telescope, and offer no resistance. They suppress the bad feelings they have, but they have them in spades. Passivity, though, lasts for only so long before the person opts for another behavior to release the pressure that's built up. This is because they are not actually easy-going (a very different mindset), but one of the other types above in disguise.
  4. Assertive types look for ways to collaborate or compromise. They speak out and they listen to what others have to say. They're ready to take needed action, and take it. As long as they don't cross over into aggressive behaviors, they stay in the "assertive" zone. They do what they can to accomplish what they set out to do, and often feel confident about decision-making. They tend to encourage, guide, or mentor others.
  5. Spiritual types observe what's going on. They ask themselves and/or the Universe for right questions then seek and ask right questions of others. They ask and trust the Universe to show others, as well as themselves, adjustments that need to be or could be made, rather than charging into battle about matters. Their mantra for more complicated circumstances (and life) is, "I may not know how or when this will be taken care of, but I know the Universe is working on it." They pay attention to signals from the Universe about how and when they should take certain actions. They mostly stay in, or return to, peace and trust more easily, based on experience and lots of practice. They tend to be more easy-going than other types because of this.

The first three types above are examples of unskillful behaviors, which can be transmuted into skillful ones with guidance and practice. And all five types have "shades," as well as "flavors" of skilled and unskilled aspects. Also, under certain circumstances, any of us might display behaviors from the five types: we may desire to be skillful at all times, but find this isn't always the case. But with practice, we can always improve our ratio of skillful-to-unskillful behaviors.





When we don't observe our own behaviors through the appropriate lens, we miss opportunities to choose ways to have and be the feelings we desire most. Look back at the list of behaviors to consider, and perhaps add your own. Look back at the five behavior types and see which one is your current predominant style and which one you'd prefer to be your predominant style. Be honest, and kind, with yourself as you do this. Always aim at making choices that keep you in integrity and encourage you to do your best and feel your best in any given moment, even if you slip or trip up first. It's a good practice, one you'll appreciate.

Practice makes progress.


Copyright 2012 © Joyce Shafer
Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru” and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles and free downloads. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at State of Appreciation.

 

 

 

Productivity and Attitude



I'm the only one who does anything around here! 

 Several years ago I was on a late-night television show in New York City. For some strange reason, they wanted me in the studio that afternoon at 4:30. I walked in and was stunned by the small size of the reception area. It contained a couch for three, a chair for one and a sink, refrigerator and coffee maker.

As I sat down a woman walked in, shook her head and said, "Nobody makes any coffee except me!" She got busy and started a fresh pot of coffee. A few minutes later a guy walked in and, following the same procedure said, "I can't believe it! This place would be a pig-pen if it weren't for me! I'm the only person who ever does any clean-up," and he cleaned up the small area. Still later another woman walked in and complained, "Nobody ever puts anything up but me," and she proceeded to put things away.

Interestingly enough, all three of those people sincerely felt they were the only ones who ever did anything. Each one did their own private halo-adjustment as they went through the process of "making up, putting up and cleaning up."

Question: Is that the way it is in your company, where "nobody does anything," but everybody thinks they're the only one who actually works?

Thought: If that is true and you are the only one who does anything, think of the incredible advantage that gives you. Not only do you have job security, but the opportunity door is wide open for your move to the top.

However, if you have a chip on your shoulder, if you honestly feel that you do everything and you share that feeling with others, your bad attitude negates your good work.

So, stay busy, keep working, smile about it and your good attitude about "doing everything" will catch up with you. Think about it and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

 

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 27 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

Rejections and Reactions

Rejection takes many forms. You didn't make the team. The college you want to attend turns you down. The woman you asked out said no. You didn't get the job. You were passed over for a promotion. Your husband left you.

Whatever form it takes, being rejected hurts. It is a blow to your ego and challenges your ability to cope. It makes you question yourself. It makes you angry. In its most extreme and painful forms, it generates self-destructive thoughts and behaviors - ranging from rage to drinking binges to suicide.

The tricky thing about rejection, though, is not to avoid it but to choose a positive way of reacting to it. After all, everybody suffers rejection. That is not meant to minimize anyone's pain at being let go or turned down; it is simply to say that you aren't alone. Others have lived through similar - or worse - things. The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to fail to live, dream, or dare! And that is a far worse thing than being courageous enough to apply for the position, to accept a leadership challenge, or to invest your heart and getting turned down.

In a recent interview reported in the Wall Street Journal, Warren Buffett spoke of his rejection by Harvard Business School at 19. "The truth is, everything that has happened in my life . . . that I thought was a crushing event at the time, has turned out for the better," he said. With the exception of health problems, he continued, life's setbacks teach "lessons that carry you along. You learn that a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end it can be an opportunity."

In Buffett's case, a second-choice application to Columbia put him under the tutelage of two professor-mentors who taught him the essentials he has used in a successful investment career. More important still, the disappointment he thought his father would feel over his failure turned into a positive expression of "unconditional love" and "unconditional belief in me."

Rejection is the challenge to find a new way, a better path. Rather than curse the job you didn't get or the person who didn't hire you, rethink your skills and find another venue for their use. Instead of hiding from life because a relationship has ended and your heart is broken, learn something about yourself from what has happened and know there is someone who needs what you have to give. Temporary setbacks become permanent defeats only if you allow it.

It isn't rejection that determines the outcome. It is your reaction to it.

Rubel Shelly


Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: www.RubelShelly.com