Parenting
Tips
When
it comes
to
preventing
the
common
cold,
many
people
believe
large
supplemental
doses of
Vitamin
C will
do the
trick –
not the
case.
Host an Island party and have the
planning done for you
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Teenage
Mood Swings …..are they normal?
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Perhaps
you’ve heard from 'You don't understand
me?' to 'Why can't you just stop going
on at me and leave me alone!' all before
and are wondering if it’s normal. Well,
to reassure you …. it is but your
teenager's mood swings can affect the
whole family and they can be a source of
huge distress, anger and frustration for
everyone.
Adolescence is a complex period of
transition and change and mood swings
are all part of the process of growing
up. Your teenager suddenly becomes
concerned about their identity, and
begins to feel the pressures of school,
exams and fitting in with their peers.
They begin to worry about their
appearance far more, their friendships
and how people outside the family
perceive them and these are just some of
the things that preoccupy your teenager.
Add to this, the ebb and flow of their
changing and spinning hormones and you
get a very volatile mixture of happy,
personable and outgoing one day, morose,
depressed and sullen the next but the
key thing is for you to stay grounded,
centred and calm regardless of your
teenagers mood.
Easier said than done some days but
essential in the long run!
Remember to not take it personally !
If your teen is having a bad day, you
and the rest of your family are the
safest and the most available target for
their frustration and anger.
Try not to take it to heart. Blaming you
can be an easy way out for your teen who
may be having a tough time. But by
showing empathy and tolerance and by
being available to just listen to some
of their feelings often helps your
teenager feel understood.
Be sensitive to when they want to chat
things through and be flexible in
sitting down and listening even when
you’re tired or busy as it will build
many wonderful bridges between you.
Always remember to press an imaginary
pause button (like on your DVD) and to
take a literal step back as this
distances you from the heated moment and
try not to overreact. Arguing back,
shouting or criticising only makes
things worse.
You may feel incredibly angry or
frustrated but avoid rising to the bait.
Imagine yourself as an anchor on the
bottom of a deep ocean. Deeply grounded
and firm in the sand as your teenager is
bobbing about out of emotional control
at the top of the water – flaying about.
Take some deep slow breaths and imagine
a cool breeze blowing over your face
calming you down and let the situation
blow over the top of your head.
When you feel calm and when your teen
has calmed down discuss what happened
and how you felt later. Strike while the
iron is cold!
A useful strategy to use is:
• When you …..
• I feel
• Because……
• I would like …….
Is there something bothering your teen?
Sometimes there really is more to it
than the just the “moody” moment. So
find out whether there is possibly
something more behind your teen’s
snappiness and short fuse? Could they be
worried or pressured about something?
Ask if there is something troubling them
gently and chose your moment carefully.
If they want to talk to you about it,
make it clear that you are always
willing to listen without judgement,
nagging or heavy handed advice.
Remember that teenagers can be very
secretive and withdrawn, so don't feel
rejected if they don’t want to open up
to you. Take time out naturally together
to chat, go shopping or take the dog out
for a walk and let the conversation flow
naturally and easily without pressure.
The family is a natural, safe and easy
target for letting off steam, as your
teenager knows you will still love and
accept them even if they lose their
temper with you. And it's very likely
that outside of the family, your
teenager controls their temper and moods
and is far more easy-going and pleasant.
But be clear on your own boundaries of
what is and isn’t acceptable to you at
home, as children of all ages need to
know their boundaries. It’s not
unreasonable to expect them to exert
some control over their moods and temper
at home and don’t fall into the trap of
excusing and accepting everything
because you’ve got a hormonal teenager
in your house.
Explain the effect that their moods are
having on the rest of the family as your
maturing teenager may not be fully aware
of the impact they are having on
everyone. Explain and be clear, that
although you understand their situation,
they are still part of the family and if
they shout, snap or swear, it makes the
atmosphere unpleasant for everyone.
State what you find acceptable and be
unwavering on those values and be clear
on your expectations. Say that you
expect them to show more control over
their emotions now they are maturing and
to not lose their temper so easily.
As kids become more assertive, confident
and confrontational it’s a natural
reaction to match the behaviour and to
become more assertive, more
confrontational and more controlling but
that is where, in my opinion things can
go wrong.
It’s about NOT matching that behaviour,
it’s about recognising what’s happening
and trying the new strategies and
techniques of negotiating, discussing,
and talking – the time for telling is
over.
Ask yourself:
• What changes can I make this week to
stay grounded, centred and in control of
myself?
• What will be the benefits to myself,
my relationship with my teenager and the
rest of the family if I remember to make
these small changes?
• What small steps can I take this week
to build bridges between myself and my
teen?
• What one new strategy could I try this
week?
• What can I remember to do if it all
goes pear shaped to keep the bigger long
term view of our relationship?
• How can we all relax a little more
this week – what can we do together to
make us all laugh?
Author:
Sue Atkins is a Parent Coach and
Author of "Raising Happy Children for
Dummies" one in the famous black and
yellow series. She has written many
books on self esteem, toddlers and
teenagers and has a collection of
Parenting Made Easy Toolkits available
from her website. To find out more about
her work and to receive her free monthly
newsletter packed full of practical tips
and helpful advice for bringing up
happy, confident, well-balanced children
go to =>
http:/www.positive-parents.com
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Play Market Memory - Match the
fresh fruit and vegetables
Getting Involved in Your child's Education
When
parents are involved in their children's education, kids do better
in school.1. Want to learn how to
help your child achieve and succeed? Read on! You'll learn
why involvement is so important and suggestions
for how to get involved.
Watch
this
interesting
video
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click
on
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Gifts from the
Kitchen - Happy
Hubby Steak Sauce
 Looking for a little
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resident grill
master?
Everyone seems to be
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but even if your
intended recipient
can't roast a
hotdog, try giving a
bottle of Happy
Hubby Steak Sauce.
It's a little bit of
liquid love to
spread around.
And while you're
spreading, don't
stop at steak.
Use it straight out
of the fridge or at
room temperature on
a burger
Parents of kids living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) have battled a tide of terrifying reports about this growing problem, which affects up to 11 per cent of boys aged four to 14 and a lesser number of girls.
The question is what to do about it, and natural treatments such as yoga are getting a big tick.
As the excitement
of school children builds to super-charged levels as
they prepare to shift gears and fly into summertime,
there has never been a better time for students to
let their entrepreneurial wings catch the wind and
soar.
Choosing
books to
read
aloud to
children
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