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A compassionate attitude helps you communicate easily with fellow human beings. As a result, you make more genuine friends; the atmosphere is more positive, which gives you inner strength. This inner strength helps you voluntarily concern yourself with others, instead of just thinking about your own self.
Scientific research has shown that those individuals who often use words such as me, I and mine face a greater risk of a heart attack. If one always thinks of oneself, one’s thinking becomes very narrow; even a small problem appears very significant and unbearable.When we think of others, our minds widen, and within that large space, even big personal problems may appear insignificant. This, according to me, makes all the difference.
To develop concern for others one could start by analyzing the value of negative feelings, or ill feelings, toward others. Consider what that means to you, and how you feel about yourself. Next probe the value of such a mental attitude and the value of a mind that shows concern and compassion for others.
I am suggesting that you analyze and make comparisons between these two mental attitudes. From my experience, I have found that insecurity and a lack of self-confidence brings about fears, frustration, and depression. However, if your nature changes to a selfless concern for the welfare of others, you will experience calmness, a sense of inner strength, and self-confidence.
The capacity for compassion that one has for others is the measuring rod for one’s own mental state, and compassion develops an inner strength. It is unnecessary to see the results of our acts of compassion. In some cases, our sense of compassion may not be appreciated. Many people have the impression that the practice of love, compassion, and forgiveness is of benefit to others, but will serve no specific purpose to one’s own self. I think that is wrong. These positive emotions will immediately help one’s own mental state.
I suspect all of us have been hurt in deep and lasting ways by the words or acts of another. It's normal in such situations to feel hostility toward the person who hurt us. If we allow the offense to linger, we may carry the hurt and resentment in the form of a grudge. Usually this causes more unhappiness for us than the person we're mad at.
Some religions speak of forgiveness as a moral duty, others as a worthy virtue, and still others impose preconditions on the wrongdoer before he or she is entitled to be forgiven. Whatever your religious views, psychologists say the ability to forgive is closely correlated to happiness and mental health.
Some people refuse to even entertain the idea of forgiveness because they don't think the person they resent deserves to be forgiven. Others don't want to appear to condone or excuse the conduct and certainly don't want to reconcile with the person.
The essence of forgiveness is a voluntary decision to abandon continuing resentment, to let go of anger, and to move on. It doesn't require or imply condoning, excusing, or forgetting. Nor does it require that the forgiver re-establish a relationship with the wrongdoer.
According to Dr. Ben Dean, the capacity to forgive is related to the character strength of empathy. People who can empathize with an offender and see things from that person's perspective are much better able to forgive. He also says that the older we get, the more forgiving we're likely to become.
Hmmm. We usually get wiser, too. So maybe it's wise to forgive.
Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org
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