Your Life, Your Rules

"Stand up for something or else you will fall for everything!"

Have you ever checked into a hotel or maybe onto a plane or had any other experience where you came up against a guideline? A clerk may respond "I am sorry sir, that's not our company policy!"

I often want to reply back with some glib remark about "accepting company policies is against our company policy", nonetheless they serve a function. They set standard operating agreements for doing business. If you know these in advance it is easy to adjust your behaviour to fit in.
I had a great dentist, he has subsequently retired. He booked 30-minute appointments and if you were more than 5 minutes late you would arrive at his reception and immediately have a new appointment booked. He wouldn't see you. I did this once and from that point on I was always a few minutes early.

The result!

My dentist was never, never, never late. He also had the most amazing work-life balance. At the end of the day, he always got out the door when he had planned. It was magic to watch.
What rules do you have in place that will push back against the torrent of stuff we can get absorbed in on a daily basis?


  • Do you work on weekends?
  • What time do you finish work?
  • If you work with your partner when do you stop talking about work?
  • Do you fly business class?
  • Do you work Fridays?
  • Do you go to bed with arguments unresolved?

What are your operating agreements and what are your personal (company) policies? It doesn't matter what rules you create. What matters is that you create boundaries for behaviour. Governing principles that allow you to say no to the little things in life and yes to the big things.
When you feel out of control and like life is pushing you around - push back!

Matt Church is an expert on work-life integration. Visit his website or investigate his newsletter for more tips and ideas.

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Home – a film

We are living in exceptional times.

Scientists tell us that we have 10 years to change the way we live, avert the depletion of natural resources and the catastrophic evolution of the Earth's climate.

The stakes are high for us and our children. Everyone should take part in the effort, and HOME has been conceived to take a message of mobilization out to every human being.

For this purpose, HOME needs to be free.

A patron, the PPR Group, made this possible. EuropaCorp, the distributor, also pledged not to make any profit because Home is a non-profit film.

HOME has been made for you : share it!

And act for the planet.

Yann Arthus-Bertrand

HOME official website http://www.home-2009.com

PPR is proud to support HOME http://www.ppr.com

HOME is a carbon offset movie http://www.actioncarbone.org

More information about the Planet http://www.goodplanet.info

 

[Just for fun] It’s so cold

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Kids in the Kitchen: The COVID-19 Effect

Consider this: now is not the time for dinner parties of any kind. Instead, people are staying home, enjoying meals with their own nuclear families and looking forward to the recovery period on the other side of the COVID-19 pandemic, in which the world finds itself presently engulfed. As billions of people around the world face shelter in place orders mandated because of what this writer calls The COVID-19 Effect, family-oriented dinners - and breakfasts and lunches - are increasing. This is a positive effect of a bad set of circumstances, as we shall discuss later. My mother used to say, "When you've been given lemons to live with, make lemonade!" This axiom can be utilized literally and figuratively in this respect thanks to circumstances that necessitate home meal preparation.



I wrote a book some time ago titled Kids in the Kitchen, which extolls the virtue of families finding common ground in the kitchen, of all places, to help cement the bonds of "unity within and among family units," Saying invite as many people over as possible and we can always welcome the stranger into our home are vestiges, it seems, of a bygone era, and let's face it, that's just not something that we can do right now. But I suggest that my squabble holds true for those of us who are stuck at home and want to keep the home fires burning and the family unit intact. Whatever happened to the good ol' days? You know, the days of having home cooked meals with loved ones and good conversation. The fast paced world of today has almost made cooking as a family event a relic of the past. You may be asking: Who has time to cook when everyone is worried about what will happen next in the pandemic crisis? This writer says, "Take it to the kitchen!" The silver lining in the cloud just may reveal the following 6 benefits, which may yield to you, the reader, a change of heart.

Brings the Classroom Home

Learning is something that should be promoted at all times even when not in school. Cooking as a family is perhaps one of the easiest (and tastiest) ways to do this. Turn every cake or pie into a math problem with a delicious prize by working on division and fractions. All subjects can be taught in the kitchen. Improving English or learning foreign languages can be taught through common phrases and ingredients. Social studies is a practical subject that is very easy and fun to integrate: have a cultural dinner once per week to teach about different countries, ethnic groups or traditions (Also the premise of my previously released book Kids in the Kitchen; Amazon.com.)

Promotes Healthy Living

In a country plagued by obesity, parents must remain on the frontline of caring for their children's health. Also, promoting healthy eating for children can be just the jumpstart parents need to eat healthier themselves. Preparing food at home takes longer than fast food and microwave options, and this lack of instant gratification curbs junk food eating. When a family cooks together, a support system is automatically put in place for those who have trouble with snacking and poor food choices. An added benefit of family cooking is that children with food allergies can be catered to and the child can gain back some control over their situation.

Carry on Tradition

Passing things on from one generation to the next has become something of the past. Families that cook together can carry on old recipes and promote family pride while building better relationships with grandparents or extended family. Don't have any family recipes? No worries! You can create new ones with children. Having something to pass on builds a sense of pride and anticipation for a productive future. A tradition of telling stories that surround those recipes is great to pass on as well.



Self-Building

Sometimes young people just need an opportunity to see how great they really are. Cooking as a family can help to build up a person from the inside out. Children can gain self-confidence and pride when achieving cooking goals, such as meeting deadlines and receiving praise for new recipes. Creativity, working well with others and organization are also skills that can be gained through family cooking.

Builds Bridges

Family cooking is one of the best ways to build relationships. Conversing with children, teenagers especially, can be difficult. Performing activities in a casual environment such as the kitchen while conversing can help to lessen the awkwardness and stress caused by some conversations. Everyone loves and needs to eat, so the neutral territory can ease any tensions. Also, parents may be able to more quickly notice when things are wrong. It can prove difficult to notice when something is wrong with a child who is allowed to spend dinner and all their free time in a private space. When family cooking is established, out in the open interactions are normal and red flags will be raised faster when that suddenly stops. Hint to children: always put dad's TV remote control device back in the same place where you found it!

Healthier Marriage/Relationships

Yes, really. A marriage, especially one with vestiges of a blended family, has so many factors and sometimes complex issues that, to some degree, an activity as simple as family cooking may not seem like a solution. However, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. Family cooking saves money, time and sanity. The money saved can be spent on tuition, an extra car or home repairs that were causing tensions. Spent over a period of time, money saved can be used on bonding with a spouse instead of cleaning dishes all by yourself. The more sanity you have will help to de-stress your life, and who doesn't need less stress specific to the issues presented by The COVID-19 Effect? No one knows for sure what will happen with the apex of the coronavirus, but this writer is confident that making family meals as a unit, including children, whenever possible, is important because you are attending to the needs of others, even if the kids you are helping are starting to seem very irritating because you've been putting up with them for the last six weeks. If it makes you feel any better; just know that this writer's family is not the exception that proves the rule! By the way son; where is my remote control?

Don't pull your hair out parents! Everything you need to promote family relationships and avoid that cabin fever syndrome during the COVID-19 effect; can be found in the kitchen. Put another way: The family that cooks together stays at peace!

Stanley G. Buford has worked as teacher, coach, and facilitator and has coordinated a variety of school related programs during his more than 20 year tenure in the educational field. He believes in the power of parental involvement in the process of changing urban education to meet the needs of its residents. While his Amazon.com bestseller, Not All Teachers Are Parents, But All Parents Are Teachers! Is not a cure, it is his ongoing contribution to improving education for the 21st century.

 

Help Your Relationship Survive COVID-19

Was it really a surprise to learn that over 80 couples filed for divorce immediately upon leaving lockdown in China? Being together 24/7 is something we rarely experience for any significant period of time, perhaps only at Christmas or on holiday, and then there are usually external distractions.

So, in these extraordinary times, let's consider ways to help your relationship survive COVID-19

- Accept that there will be both up and down days. Everyone has been affected by this pandemic. From losing people you know, work, your business, your health, it's also the uncertainty of how long this time will last and the long-term implications which can cause our minds to run 'what if' scenarios and cause mood swings. Accept that if your partner has a 'meltdown' it's not automatically about you, so don't take it personally.

- Talk to each other. Communication is crucial at a time like this. Don't silently dwell on your situation but don't bottle up how you're feeling either. Keep talking. Everything's different from normal. Our eating habits, alcohol and coffee consumption, exercise, social lives and sleeping patterns have probably changed. Each impacts on our mental and physical health and wellbeing.



- Allow yourself to be 'nudged along' sometimes. If your partner is in a good place, doesn't want to hear negativity, says, 'leave it for now', or, 'stop with the misery', be prepared at times to take that on board. Try to let their good humour filter through to you.

- Keep connected and talk to others, to your family and friends. It's helpful to discover that many people share your fears and concerns and are experiencing similar irritations within their relationships. Maybe join online sites and chat rooms where you can share tips for coping or be receptive to the many activities and interests that are available. Maybe arrange group chats, virtual dinner dates, coffee mornings or book clubs where you can socialise and enjoy the company of a variety of people and activities.

- Agree to give each other space and not do everything together. There are times when one could do the food shop, walk the dog, do some work, go and read, or relax in a leisurely bath and enjoy some time out on their own. Again, it's not personal but allows each space from being 'hot-housed' together for a while.

- Enjoy separate hobbies or interests. One may want to study or is interested in pursuing a hobby that they normally don't have time for. Give them the opportunity to dedicate time to this whilst they can.

- Find new activities you can do together, something that you've both expressed an interest in. Maybe plan a special post-COVID-19 holiday, or revisit your back-catalogue of music, your old photographs, the games you used to play; you can find hours of fun, laughter and nostalgia so helping your relationship survive COVID-19.



- When we're confined to our homes and away from everything that's routine and familiar it's understandable if someone erupts from time to time! Many of us feel we've little or no control. Our familiar structure, work, exercise routine, social structure have all disappeared, almost overnight. Forgive the occasional outburst. But if it happens with increasing frequency try to discuss what happened afterwards, when things are calmer.

- Be patient with each other. Accept that it's often the small things that cause the biggest irritations. A large grievance would most likely be discussed at the time, whereas smaller things, like not emptying the waste bins, leaving a dirty cup on the table, not offering to make a drink could trigger underlying frustrations and annoyances. If this occurs try to step back and agree to discuss it at a less tense time.

- Maybe agree on a 'timeout' word, phrase or action that can be used to create a pause if things appear to be getting too heated. Then detach for a while. Maybe one goes for a walk, cools off, spends time in the garden. Yes, sometimes, particularly in these unprecedented days, we need to ignore some things and not comment or nit-pick over everything that offends or that we dislike. But if rudeness or temper outbursts occur with increasing frequency, you need to consider what your options are. It may help to discuss matters with family, friends or use helpline support.

- Could alcohol be a factor? Sales of alcohol have definitely increased, as has the consumption of sugar and treats and time spent on gambling and pornography sites. Again, mental and physical health, daily exercise, maybe a walk outside, regularly getting up at the same time, showering and keeping a healthy routine all support good health, sleep and a better approach to your relationship.

- If money's an issue maybe negotiate a weekly or monthly allowance to each spend on your own whimsies, with the agreement that no comments are made or questions asked.



- Decide not to let children dominate every waking moment. Some families insist that their home-schooled children wear school uniforms so that they're clear that this isn't an unplanned extra holiday. Plan their lessons but also schedule online exercise classes, craftwork, reading, chores so that you have some quiet time in the day and aren't exhausted by evening.

This period of lockdown could be time for you to pull together, reinforce your love, closeness and connection, able to create many fond memories along the way. A little thought, consideration and sensitivity can help your relationship survive COVID-19.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

 

Managing Your Stress During This Time of COVID-19

The ability to manage stress is vital to your personal and professional success in life. Right now, with all that's happening in the world, the ability to manage stress is vital to your survival during COVID-19.

Psychologists say that if you live a more balanced life, you will experience greater success in the long run.

Now, more than ever calls for living a balanced life. The various stresses which have come along with this unexpected pandemic have caused many professionals to feel unbalanced.

In an effort to help you regain your balance, here are a few recommended techniques you can use to manage your stress during this time of COVID-19:

BREATHE: make time throughout the day to do deep breathing exercises. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth several times in a day. This process will help you to increase the oxygen in your blood. When oxygenated blood flows to your brain, it helps to make you feel more peaceful and less stressed.



EXERCISE: get regular exercise to boost your energy and overall sense of well-being. Whether you work out with a Pilates video in your living room; lift weights in your basement; join an aerobics class via Zoom, or take a walk around your neighbourhood, a regular exercise routine will help to make your mind and body feel better. Another good benefit of a regular exercise routine is that it will also help to improve your self-esteem. A high level of self-esteem makes you feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you feel as if you can handle whatever comes your way. Make it a habit during COVID-19 to engage in regular exercise.

ENJOY SANCTUARY TIME: carve out time in your day and designate a special place in your home for sanctuary time. This will be time for you and you alone. Sanctuary time lets you take moments for yourself. Spend your sanctuary time in a spot that gives you a renewed sense of peace. Your sanctuary time can be first thing in the morning as you wash up in the bathroom; during the middle of the day as you meditate in your office; or later in the evening as you unwind in your living room. As long as you have private time to meditate, plan, and find peace, your sanctuary time can be whenever and wherever you decide. Commit to enjoying sanctuary time on several occasions within your week.

VISIT WITH LOVED ONES: maintain your personal and professional relationships during this time. Even though social distancing has become the norm, you can still connect with your family, friends, and colleagues. Sure, you will be using technology a lot more to connect with them now. The goal is to spend time engaged in conversation, laugher and connections to keep your spirits lifted. Phone calls, text messages, face-time sessions, Zoom meetings, and virtual parties are all ways you can visit with loved ones right now. Make a commitment to yourself to visit with a loved one each week until this pandemic is over.

COVID-19 has brought many unexpected issues with it which has knocked the balance out of the life of many professionals. The unbalance is causing professionals to be stressed out.

The four (4) stress management techniques described in this article are intended to help you regain levels of balance and eliminate sources of stress in your life.

Test them out and let them work for you.

In the world of inspiration and motivation, there is no other like Cassandra "D.I.V.A. of Dialog™" Lee. She is a leadership speaker who uses "Divine Inspiration Vocally Applied™" to help her audiences achieve workplace satisfaction and career success. To get a FREE copy of her special report, "101 Ways to Have a Rewarding Career," sign-up on her website at https://www.divaofdialog.com.

 

How Students Benefit from Quality Sleep

 

If you’re a hard-working student, you know how tricky it is to prioritize sleep over all the other things on your to-do list. School can consume every part of the day, and it’s difficult to get even the minimum recommended hours of sleep you need to function.

While it may seem easy to put sleep on the backburner, doing so can cause negative a ripple effect, leading to more serious health issues and even poor performance in school. So it’s safe to say that investing in a good night’s sleep is actually one of the best things you can do for your grades and your mental well-being.

Our article will break down everything you need to know about sleep health, its effects on your mental capacity, and time management tips to help you get more sleep.   Read the whole article here >>>

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[Just for fun] A banker is a person who …

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Quit Smoking for Good — A Quit Smoking Guide




 

Smoking is the leading cause of preventable disease, disability, and death in the United States, according to Drugabuse.org. According to the CDC, smoking cigarettes causes approximately 480,000 Spremature deaths in the U.S. each and every year. An additional 16 million people suffer from debilitating diseases caused by smoking cigarettes.

An estimated additional 41,000 people die each year from smoking-related diseases as the result of Secondhand Smoke. The chemicals released from secondhand smoke pose a very real danger to those in the close proximity of a smoker.

Quitting smoking can be overwhelming. It’s not only about breaking a powerful physical dependence on an incredibly addictive substance but also about significantly changing one’s lifestyle, habits and coping strategies. It is, however, undeniably the single most important step that smokers can take to improve the length and quality of their lives.

5 Tips For Becoming An Early Riser

If you’d like to become an early riser, there are some things you should know before you run off to set your oft-ignored alarm clock. Here are five tips I’ve discovered to be most helpful in making the transition from erratic sleeper to early morning wizard:

1. Choose to get up before you go to sleep

You’re not very good at making decisions when you’ve just woken up. You were in the middle of a dream in which [insert celebrity crush of choice here] is serving you breakfast in bed only to be rudely awakened by the harsh tones of your alarm clock. You’re frustrated, angry, confused, and surprised. This is not the time to be making decisions about whether or not you should stay in bed! And yet, most of us leave the first decision of our day to be made in a blur of partial wakefulness.

No more! If you want to be a consistently early riser, try making your decision to rise at a specific time before you go to sleep the night before. This frees you from making the decision in the morning when you’ve just woken up. Instead of making a decision, you have only to follow through on your decision from the night before. Easier said than done? Of course. But only for the first few times. Eventually your need for raw willpower to get out of bed will diminish and you’ll be the proud parent of a new habit!

Steve Pavlina suggests you practice getting out of bed during the day to get a few of the “practice sessions” out of the way without the early morning fog in your head.

2. Have a plan for your extra time

Let’s say you’ve actually made it out of bed 2 hours before you normally would. Now what? What are you going to do with all this time you’ve discovered in your day? If you don’t have something planned to do with your extra time, you risk falling for the temptation of a “morning nap” that wipes out all the work you put into getting up.

What to do? Before you go to bed, make a quick note of what you’d like to get done during your extra hours the following day. Do you have a book to write, paper to read, or garage to clean? Make a plan for your early hours and you’ll do more than protect yourself from backsliding into bed. You’ll get things done and those results will fuel your desire to build rising early into a habit!

3. Make rising early a social activity

While there’s obvious value in joining a Lifehack Challenge in order to get you started as an early riser, your internet buddies just don’t have enough pull to make your new habit stick in the long term. The same cannot be said for the people you spend time with as part of your early morning routine.

Sure, you could choose to read blogs for two hours every morning. But wouldn’t it be great to join an early breakfast club, running group, or play chess in the park at 5am? The more people you get involved in making your new habit a daily part of your life, the easier it’ll be to succeed.

4. Don’t use an alarm that makes you angry

If we’re all wired differently, why do we all insist on torturing ourselves with the same sort of alarm each morning? I spent years trying to wake up before my alarm went off so I wouldn’t have to hear it. I got pretty good, too. Then I started using a cellphone as my alarm clock and quickly realized that different ring tones irritated me less but worked just as well to wake me up. I now use the ring tone alarm as a back up for my bedside lamp plugged in to a timer.

When the bright light doesn’t work, the cellphone picks up the slack and I wake up on time. The lesson learned? Experiment a bit and see what works best for you. Light, sound, smells, temperature, or even some contraption that dumps water on you might be more pleasant than your old alarm clock. Give something new a try!

5. Get your blood flowing right after waking

If you don’t have a neighbor you can pick fights with at 5am you’ll have to settle with a more mundane exercise. It doesn’t take much to get your blood flowing and chase the sleep from your head. Just pick something you don’t mind doing and go through the motions until your heart rate is up. Jumping rope, push-ups, crunches, or a few minutes of yoga are typically enough to do the trick. (Just don’t do anything your doctor hasn’t approved.)

If you live in a beautiful part of the world like me, you might want to use a bit of your early morning to go for a walk and enjoy the beauty of the world around you. If you have a coffee shop open within walking distance, dragging yourself out of bed for a cup of coffee to savor on your walk home as the world wakes around you is a wonderful experience. Try it!

Article from:  Lifehack: Daily Productivity Tips 

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash