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3 aspects of imperfection to embrace

Imagine you’ve just made a mistake. How do you feel? Ready to celebrate?

If a celebration is the furthest thing from your mind, you're not alone. Most people hate when they make mistakes. For one thing, it's embarrassing to get something wrong. For another, it means you haven't reached the goal you'd set for yourself. There isn't much to like here.

Or is there?

Think about it. When we make mistakes, we learn how not to do something. Even more exciting is when these so-called 'mistakes' lead us into something new or interesting which we might never have found otherwise. After all, bubble wrap was completely a mistake, as the inventor was trying to make a new kind of wallpaper. So were things like Post-It Notes, the microwave oven, potato chips, and superglue.

There are several aspects of imperfection you would do well to embrace. Consider these traits:

Imperfection Gives You the Ability to Succeed

When you constantly strive for perfection and miss, you start thinking you're never going to accomplish anything. Eventually, you stop trying at all, guaranteeing the very failure you were trying to avoid. With imperfection, you aren’t so worried about potential failure, meaning you’re more likely to keep trying until you reach your goals.

Imperfection Builds the Best Relationships

Perfectionism at its worst tells you the rest of the world is never going to measure up. After all, these people don't perform as you want them to, so why would you expect anyone who fails to have any value. With this thought in mind, we start seeing others as being worthless. Failures. Now imagine trying to build a relationship with anyone when you expect so little of them. Isn't this a surefire disaster waiting to happen? Imperfection reminds us we're all human and therefore treats others with kindness. Now imagine how relationships flourish in this kind of atmosphere.

Imperfection Gives Us Self-Worth

This flawed view of the world becomes even worse when directed at ourselves. We start seeing all the ways we don't measure up, and as a result, our self-talk takes a turn for the worse. We beat ourselves up endlessly in an ongoing litany of negativity. We remind ourselves we're falling short at every turn until eventually, we feel so bad about ourselves there seems little reason to go on living. With imperfection, though, we can accept our efforts as being good enough. We can celebrate small victories and solid attempts. We start seeing our efforts as worthwhile and ourselves as having value again. Imperfection changes our self-talk toward positivity.

In short, these three aspects of imperfection combine to make us our best selves. No more do we need to hold ourselves to impossible standards. Our imperfect self already has everything needed to make you into the best version of yourself.

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Not All Distractions Are Bad

Though we often think of distractions as inherently bad, that's not always the case. There are some instances where a distraction can be helpful or even healthy. Unfortunately, we all know that there are plenty of distractions out there that can lead us astray.

But what about those times when a distraction can be a good thing? Here are a few examples:

 

Taking a Break

 

If you notice that you are experiencing additional stress or feelings of anxiety, a mild but healthy distraction will relieve your mind and offer some relief. Examples of good distractions, in this case, include reading a book, listening to music, or going for a walk.

 

Refocusing Yourself

 

Sometimes, if you can't focus on a task, taking a brief break might help you get back to work. This is usually the case when the task is quite difficult or boring.

 

Eating, Drinking, and Nourishing Yourself

 

Sometimes, a healthy distraction can help us avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating or drinking. If you feel tempted to engage in one of these behaviors, try to find a positive distraction to focus on instead.

 

Other Self-Care Actions

 

Anytime you notice that even with your normal interventions, you can’t seem to get your focus together, it may be time to take some time out for more self-care. It may simply mean working on sleeping better at night so you’re at your best each day, but it will take self-reflection and honesty to ensure you find the right issues. It’s not wrong to take care of your needs before anyone else gets their wants seen to.

 

Helping Your Child Refocus

 

Helping your child switch from a frustrating task to a more enjoyable activity can be an excellent way to reduce their stress levels and prevent them from becoming overwhelmed. While this may seem like a distraction as it happens, taking you from your task and helping them will teach them to soothe themselves better, and over time interruptions will slow down as they learn what to do by your example.

 

As you can see, there are actually quite a few instances where a diversion can be helpful – when you're feeling stressed or anxious, your child is having a tough time with a task or situation, or you need more healthy self-care. Sometimes shifting attention to something helps everyone.

 

Of course, it's essential not to let distractions get out of hand. However, if you constantly get sidetracked and not getting anything done, it's time to reassess your priorities and find a better way to focus. For example, maybe you need to work more on the setup before starting a new task.

 

Perhaps being more mindful about your current feelings, your child’s issues, and so forth will help you avoid problems. But in moderation, distractions can be helpful. In addition, you may build stronger relationships with yourself and your loved ones if you handle them well. So next time you're feeling stressed or struggling to focus, don't be afraid to give yourself a break and find a healthy distraction.

 

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3 Reasons We Are Afraid to Ask for Help

Struggles and obstacles are a part of life that everyone deals with at some point or another throughout life.

Some people know the benefits of asking for help, yet others hold themselves back and suffer silently. Whether you are struggling in your professional or personal life, not asking for the help you need can be detrimental to your success. Here are three reasons why you may be afraid to ask for help.

Pride Stands in the Way

People who are independent by nature tend to struggle when it comes to asking for help when they really need it because they believe they should do everything themselves. Often, this can become a detriment to them and others around them who are dependent on them.

 

While independence is a great trait to have, the pride that comes with it can get in the way of getting things accomplished promptly. It may take you twice as long to solve a problem as it would if you asked for help. It may be honorable to be independent; however, you may be hurting yourself more than you realize when you let pride stand in the way.

Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is a big reason people ask others for help when they need it. These people are so wrapped up in their concern that they convince themselves that everyone will say “no” to whatever they ask, so it is better not to ask in the first place.

 

By not asking for help because you believe the other person will reject you, you tell them you do not think they care enough to help. This shows an insecurity that will keep you from accomplishing your goals and keep others from connecting with you on a closer level.

Fear of Being Exposed As an Imposter

Imposter syndrome is a phrase used to describe people who go through their lives doing what needs to be done, all the while feeling they will be exposed as a fraud. They may be having success, but they think it is more luck than any real skill or knowledge that has gotten them thus far.

 

This fear of feeling like an imposter can grow to a point where it is difficult to ask others for help because they may be exposed. This fear can have detrimental effects on a person's personal and professional life because they cannot ask others for help.

 

Overall, when you get into a situation where you need help but hesitate, you may be experiencing one of the above reasons. Overcoming these fears and insecurities can help you move into the life you have always wanted for yourself.

 

 

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Ten Tips to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is more than just the confidence you have in yourself. It goes much deeper than that, down into your feelings of self-worth and how much you respect yourself. Your self-esteem affects everything about you, from the decisions you make to your overall outlook on the world.

A strong and healthy self-esteem is one of the main building blocks of a happy and healthy you. With a healthy self-esteem you can have the confidence to do well in the world, and the self-respect to make good decisions.

Here are ten tips on how to develop your self-esteem.

1. Stop the Criticism - Find the strength to stop criticizing yourself so much. You cannot expect yourself to be perfect any more than anyone else can.

2. Make a List - Make an actual “pro” and “con” list and write down what you do and do not like about yourself. Be specific and resist the impulse to just write things like “I hate my hair”. When you are very specific like this, you might find that you have less to dislike than you think.

3. Set Realistic Goals - Set personal goals for yourself so you have something to work for, and set up a reward system as well. Resist the urge to make unrealistic goals, however. For example, don't expect to be able to run five miles the first time you try, or attempt to lose 50lbs in a month. Make small, realistic goals and you will always have something to look forward to.

4. Take Care of Yourself - Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Take care of yourself, and take pride in your body and mind.

5. Think Positive Thoughts - Try to avoid thinking negative thoughts, especially when it comes to yourself. Instead, put those thoughts out of your head and purposely start listing all of the positives around you.

6. Don't Make Comparisons - It is unrealistic and unhealthy to compare yourself to other people. You are a unique individual; you should take pride in what sets you apart.

7. Treat Yourself Well - Show yourself a good time every once in a while, or treat yourself to something special. Even small things, like taking the time to indulge in a good book or a home spa treatment, can do wonders for your self-esteem.

8. Meditate - Meditation isn't about sitting cross-legged and humming. It is about taking the time to release your mind and body from all of the stress, closing your eyes, and focusing on centering yourself. It is a great stress reliever, and could help you connect with your inner self.

9. Make Good Decisions - Good self-esteem is also about having self-respect. Making good decisions in all walks of life will help you maintain that self-respect.

10. The Truth about Perfection - The truth about perfection is that it doesn't exist. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes are all part of the adventure of life. Don't get hung up on things that you might not do just right, or if something isn't perfect, because there is no such thing.

A healthy self-esteem can change your life. People with healthy self-esteem are more likely to make good decisions, work harder towards accomplishment, and live happier lives. With these tips, you can strengthen your self-esteem.

How You Can Thrive in The Emerging New Paradigm

 

Change is everywhere, sweeping through our lives and leaving no-one untouched. It is driving us inward to identify and process our individual sense of loss and grief, asking us to let go of our attachment to what was before. This process is two-fold: the dissolution of an old paradigm, and the emergence of a new paradigm, in which you can thrive when you understand how to navigate.

After the storm has swept through, there will be a time for rebuilding. New life will emerge again, and we can find renewed hope by preparing ourselves for life after this.

But right now, during this time of loss and death, the failures of the old paradigm are laid bare for all to see. No matter how painful, we first need to acknowledge these shortcomings if we wish to build a better future and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

This period of global death and rebirth offers seed forms of new ways of living to participate more effectively in creating a society that benefits all. We are shifting from a linear, three-dimensional paradigm to a non-linear, multidimensional paradigm.

By understanding the navigational limitations of the old paradigm, we can embrace the possibilities of a new, higher level of consciousness to steer us forward. I'd like to offer you a navigational perspective for the emerging multidimensional paradigm, as well as a functional roadmap for levelling up perceptions to support our unfolding potential in this new paradigm.

The navigational system of the old paradigm

The navigational system of the duality-based paradigm consisted of a three-step process, which can be recognized in every major event of recent decades:

1. Problem

Problems are typically labelled as such not at the grassroots level, but by leadership, the media or both. It may be a false flag or it may have merit. Either way, attention is then focused on managing such problems superficially, often at the cost of ignoring deeper, systemic issues. This process of labelling certain issues as problems while ignoring others was ego-driven, short-sighted and often exploited for personal gain.

2. Reaction

Once a 'problem' is labelled by ego, it triggers an egoic response in others at the same level of consciousness, because it resonates at that level throughout the collective. Ego responses commonly evoke fear, anger, blame, shame and greed. These emotions trigger the ego's survival response in humans, narrowing their focus to black/white dualistic thinking and blocking creativity. Often, ego-based leadership continues to fuel the flames with 'evidence' of just how bad the problem is, thereby heightening public reactivity.

Related: Dysfunctional Environments: What Is A Dysfunctional Environment?

3. Solution

Once people are whipped into a frenzy of fear and reactivity, blinded to alternatives by their basic survival instincts, a 'solution' is offered - yet the offered 'solution' is merely a smokescreen for more nefarious agendas of power and control. And so, a superficial solution is sold by manipulative egos to fear-based egos without truly addressing core issues. Such solutions are always bound to fail because they go no further than the ego's survival instinct and perpetuate the reactive cycle of problem - reaction -solution.

There is a gift embedded in this crisis: We have the opportunity to step out of ashes of this limited paradigm by embracing higher perspectives to create more equitable processes for our world.

The navigational system of the new paradigm

The emerging new paradigm operates at multidimensional levels of consciousness, not just at the egoic level of survival. It fosters a growing consensus that to effectively address issues, we need to do so from a higher level of consciousness than where the problem originated. Einstein told us this more than a century ago!

Operating from higher levels of awareness expands awareness of multiple options and supports more empowered decision-making. To transcend the old paradigm of problem - reaction - solution, I would like to offer you three concepts for effective navigation in a new paradigm: Awareness, Neutralization and Discernment.

These three concepts form the acronymAND: together, they symbolize an inclusive, multi-dimensional perspective in addressing issues. We do not live in a simplistic, dualistic world of this or that; we live in a multidimensional Universe where this and that, and a multitude of other possibilities, coexist. To navigate effectively in this emerging paradigm, it is imperative for us to start working with these higher navigational skills:

1. Awareness

We cannot heal, fix or change that which we are not aware of. Ignoring problems does not make them go away. Who decides what the important issues are? What lies beneath the symptoms masquerading as problems in our society? If we are to make meaningful change, we need to think for ourselves, educate ourselves and learn to decide for ourselves. We are all responsible for life on this planet and our individual choices matter. To create true meaning and purpose in life, we need to use our Divinely given free will to learn, analyze and choose for ourselves!

2. Neutralization

When we become aware of an issue that causes dissonance or imbalance, it is not helpful to judge or blame others for the situation. Doing that, makes us a part of the problem! Feeling off-balance is a symptom of old, dense emotions in us that need to be processed. As long as we look outside ourselves for a scapegoat, we cannot evolve in consciousness. The planet needs us to evolve or else we will all become extinct. It is time to own the shadow in us because the teaching will continue until the lesson is learnt. We need to neutralize all dense emotion, no matter who caused it, so we can transform that energy into higher levels of consciousness. By neutralizing the dense emotion inside us, we are letting go of the ego's grip on us while creating space for higher frequencies of forgiveness, love and faith. Neutralization of the old energies frees us to find a better way.

3. Discernment

Finding optimal solutions are easier when there are no discrepancies in our value systems and we are no longer manipulated by the ego in ourselves or others. In order to find the way forward, we need to take a higher perspective on issues and evaluate options from multiple levels. Once we can see multiple options, we can discern the most optimal. We need to navigate from our inner discernment instead of being manipulated from outside. Solutions that look great at first, may be exposed as flawed once we evaluate them from multiple levels in terms of both content and context. Discernment always guides us to optimal decisions, and it is a skill we can all learn.



Upgrading our systems of perception

To effectively navigate in the emergent multidimensional paradigm, we also need to upgrade our systems of perception. The old paradigm of duality-consciousness thrived on ego-based positions - we defined who we were by opposing what we were not. We let the ego control the agenda through our thoughts, feelings and emotions. These forms of awareness, while useful, are subject to the whims of ego and become limited in a multidimensional world. If we wish to rebuild a better society, we need to upgrade these basic areas of perception to operate from higher level of understanding, love and perfection:

1. From Thinking to Understanding

Knowledge for its own sake is a self-limiting ego activity. Knowledge which embraces both content and the appropriate context for its application, on the other hand, fosters wisdom and offers understanding. We need to learn, apply and become the change we wish to see. We need to allow our learning to transform us first, so our presence comes from a place of knowledge and integrity. This gives us a solid basis for empowered decision-making.

2. From Feelings to Love

In the old paradigm, it was easy to nurse feelings of woundedness and having been wronged. In the long term, wallowing in such feelings keeps us stuck in the ego's victim-consciousness and its endless need for validation or revenge. It is time to free ourselves from these emotions by doing the work of inner healing: forgiving the perpetrators by understanding that wounded people cannot help but wound others, and by recognizing the shadow in us that is capable of the same. When we heal and release these primal emotions, we find that our natural resting place in consciousness becomes more loving: not the schmaltzy Hollywood type of temporal and conditional love, but an abiding, unconditional love for all forms of life. This higher expression of love goes hand in hand with compassion and wisdom.

Our task is to become less affected by fleeting feelings and emotions and to ground our actions in the unconditional love of the Creator. From there, we are able to co-create optimal solutions instead of placating our egos by seeking scapegoats to blame.

3. From Positionality to Perfection

In an ego-driven mindset, everything is viewed from the perception of how it could serve the ego's needs and further its own self-interest at the expense of another. The ego thrives on taking a position on everything. To feel justified or important, it needs to label things as good or bad, right or wrong. In so doing, it keeps the focus on problems or wrongs instead of working toward solutions. Expanding awareness of All That Is, on the other hand, allows dualistic viewpoints to drop away until we can behold the magnificence of Consciousness unfolding and enfolding in Divine perfection. As the limiting positionalities of duality-consciousness drop away, we step into the beauty and perfection of All That Is. The Master plan of creation is always a plan of perfection because it emanates from a perfect Creator.

This is the optimal position from where we can create a healthier, beneficial society. We can become active co-creators in the emergent multidimensional paradigm by upgrading our systems of perception and functioning. By evolving as individuals, we will thrive at higher levels than before as a collective also.

The world we've dreamed of is waiting to be born - and we are the ones who will define the parameters by our individual levels of evolution. We create from the level of consciousness we embody. Let's become fearless in our personal evolution, knowing that transformation within us also ripples out to benefit the collective. Let's heal and transform at every level of our being to co-create and thrive in the emerging new paradigm around us!

Ada Porat is a kinesiologist and pastoral counsellor who founded Stillpoint Holistic Services, a centre for healing and transformation that serves clients around the world. She is passionate about helping clients live their best lives. Ada can be reached at https://AdaPorat.com.

 

Dysfunctional Environments: What Is A Dysfunctional Environment?

When it comes to describing a dysfunctional environment, it might help us to also look at what a functional environment might look like.

Functional Environment

A functional environment then; would be an area that is conducive to growth. Somewhere that not only supports and encourages an individual to be themselves, but also allows them to.

Here, one can express who they are and feel safe doing so. Positive feelings and thoughts are also more likely to occur in this environment.

Dysfunctional Environment

The dysfunctional environment, on the other hand, would be somewhere that doesn't allow for the above to happen. Where the individual doesn't feel supported or acknowledged in any way, let alone in a way that honours who they are. This might be an environment that forces one to constantly compromise their values and themselves.

The word door mat comes to mind here; with boundaries being nonexistent in this environment. Feeling and thinking negatively is also something that might seem to just happen; coming on like a parasite, without reason or warning. Despair is also another common consequence of being in this type of environment.

Conscious And Unconscious Environments

With both of these examples, we can see that one is an environment that could be classed as conscious and the other is an environment that is the complete opposite.

By this, I mean that the dysfunctional environment is an environment where behaviour and the effects of that behaviour go unnoticed. The people in the environment have little, to no awareness of their actions or to the damage, which is being carried out physically, emotionally or mentally.

Standing Up

Perhaps if one were to comment or mention how they felt to the person or persons in the environment, they might be dismissed or ignored. This, of course, all depends on how dysfunctional the environment is.



The Frog Metaphor

This is a story that is helpful in explaining the insidious nature of the dysfunctional environment.

It is about a frog that is put in a pan and is cooked so gradually that it doesn't know or notice the difference in temperature. And after this slow rise, the frog dies. It was oblivious to what was happening and its imminent death. It became comfortable and numb to what it was experiencing.

So How Does This Relate To Dysfunctional Environments?

Within this environment, one will notice at first that it is draining to them. However unless one takes the steps to break away or steps out of the environment so that it can be seen from another perspective, they might start to feel comfortable within this environment. With their original state of mind and aliveness; fast becoming a distant memory.

Now, this could be because of a gradual drip feed approach or the slow cooking approach mentioned above. It might also be because it is an environment that feels comfortable and safe to them; as absurd as this sounds. It is reminding them of their history and what hasn't been looked at.

Is This How It Is?

One might have never been in a functional environment. This makes it difficult in seeing contrast and in being able to compare it to other environments in their life. One might believe that this is how life is and that there is no such thing as a 'functional environment' or that it's not possible for them.

History

We all have our own history, some parts that are likely to bring us feelings of happiness and other parts that might cause feelings of anger or resentment. This is history that won't just disappear; it has to be faced in some way. That could be by directly facing something or by the assistance of a therapist for example.

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Pulled To Our Past

We will naturally be drawn into environments that our mind unconsciously associates as being what is safe for us. These environments won't always be places that empower or honour who we are. They will be environments that mirror the behaviours, feelings and thoughts of our childhood.

Associations

This is because of the nature of the mind and how it gets attached and creates attachments. What was experienced as a child becomes what is familiar and safe to the ego mind; regardless of if it is functional or not. If these associations are functional and beneficial, then what will subsequently happen is one will usually end up in environments that are at least moderately healthy and functional.

Unhealthy Associations

However, if these are associations that are not so healthy or functional; one is likely to find that they are ending up in the same environments. Environments that are disempowering and don't reflect what they consciously want or what their heart calls for. Where their energy is being taken and no energy is being returned.

The Childhood Environment

Above I have mentioned about our later environments mirroring the behaviours feelings and thoughts of our childhood environment if they have not been processed.

Common themes of those years will continue to appear and play out in our present-day environments. These might be themes that are unique to us; challenges that just seem to appear over and over again.



A Recent Study

I recently read about a group of rat pups that were genetically predisposed to be more fearful than other strains of rats. If these rats were left with their biological mothers, they were likely to be fearful and stressed. However, after placing these rat pups with other rat mothers that were not fearful; they grew up without fear.

The Power Of The Environment

Now, these might be rats that were talking about here, but what this shows is the power of the environment in shaping how we see ourselves and in who we become.

There is always talk of nature vs. nurture and on the effect genetics have on life, however, through the study of epigenetic's genes have been found to require a trigger to be activated and that trigger is the environment. It is the environment that is making the difference.

Choosing Our Environments

Choosing our environments and therefore the people we have in our life and spend our time with is incredibly important to our own wellbeing and in achieving our dreams.

The natural tendency of our mind will be to return to what feels comfortable and to what is familiar.

Who We Are

What happened in or childhood or what has happened in our past doesn't have to define our life or who we are. That is something we can do in each moment of our life.

 

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity.

For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.

One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Covid-19 Is a Call for Renewal

In this time of uncertainty are you fretting about what may come next, financial calamity or worse, or are you regretting choices you've made in the past which brought you to where you are now?

If you are fretting or regretting, you are missing the opportunity.

This very moment - now - is a gift. We've been given the privilege and the opportunity to explore and experience, learn and grow, create and contribute. We have now been given the gift of making a monumental choice.

What are you making of your gift?



Now is always an opportunity; an opportunity to become a better version of ourselves, or an opportunity to resist. "Resist what?" you might ask. Resist life cajoling us to become all we are meant to be.

Speaking for myself, I can only imagine my angels are a frustrated bunch. They have been standing by my side, guiding and guarding me, and holding me aloft in times of trouble, and yet still, after fifty-plus years I fail to heed their quiet and persistent call - guidance offering me peace and love and joy. Instead, I resist. Can't do that; that would make me look the fool. Can't do that; that would take too much effort. Can't do that; that is beneath me. Can't do that; and a million and one other excuses. There's always tomorrow...

Until there isn't.

 

I usually think in terms of a lifetime. Yes I have this moment, but what I'm really looking forward to and waiting for is that fantastical moment in the hopefully not too distant future when all the stars align, all the ducks are in a row, and I finally arrive to my glory. Thinking of this perfection fantasy; it seems more like a description of my final passing then of some likely reality. Perfect is what life is; not what I'm waiting for. The challenge of living is not changing life; the challenge I took on and am immersed in is changing me. I must learn to live in, love and embrace the opportunity in each moment.

So, what should I do now, in this moment?

Covid-19 is a message so powerful and so pervasive - for me and for the world - it seems impossible to ignore.



My angels are once again watching and wondering, hoping and praying: 'Is he listening? Is he going to see the opportunity? And is he going to make the right choice?'

I have an opportunity before me, and so do you. In every moment the opportunity is to choose: to set my state - my emotional state - determine my course and act.

Covid-19 is upending lives all around the world and for what purpose?

It's a call for us to reconsider our priorities and determine what really matters. It's an opportunity for me and you, and perhaps ultimately all of us to change direction. Covid-19 is a call for a substantial course correction; a great reset. Are we going to heed the call?

Making a prediction is really difficult, especially about the future, but I'm going to speculate: the future we experience as individuals, families, communities and nations will depend on the choices we make here and now - in this moment.

Change is hard and sometimes painful. But change can also be beautiful and joyful and magnificent. Are we going to resist and shrink from the health, financial and economic challenges before us or are we going to embrace this opportunity to usher in a new and better experience?

People are dying because of Covid-19. The world economy is at risk of imploding. People are huddled in their homes. Many are fearful and afraid. But Covid-19 is not an emissary of destruction; it's a call to renewal. The Covid-19 crisis is a plea for us to replace the "every-man-for-himself" philosophy dominating society with a mutually connected, interdependent and supportive culture. Covid-19 is a call for us to unite.

Will we heed the call?



Now is an opportunity for the great reset - a reset of the world. That sounds like a daunting task. It is. So remember this:

"If I change myself the world changes. The great reset - in this moment of crisis - starts with me."

Scott F. Paradis, Leader, Thought-Provoking Writer, Inspiring Speaker, author of "Sheep, Herders, Wolves - Why We Are Where We Are: A Modern American Fable" and "Explosive Leadership - The Ultimate Leader Training Experience" focuses on the fundamentals of leadership and success. Scott@c-achieve.com https://ScottFParadis.com

 

Your Attitude’s Impact On Mind And Body During COVID-19 Crisis

My front window gives onto the street, and every day I see people walking their dogs. Maybe a half dozen folk in all, giving their pups some exercise. But over the last week, since California went on "lock-down," I'm utterly amazed by the number of people walking. With dogs, without dogs, with children, on their own, pushing strollers; it's a wonder to behold because along with the benefits of fresh air and exercise, these walkers are stimulating their immune systems.

And what, along with following the CDC and WHO guidelines, does the most to protect you from COVID-19? Strengthening your immune system, which--in a nutshell--is your body's defence against disease. We already know that the coronavirus is deadliest among those with compromised or weakened immune systems. Maintaining/developing a strong immune system can go a long way toward our staying healthy.

That being said, you can only walk so much in one day. Gyms are closed, both my dance studios are closed, soccer games and other group sports are cancelled. Working out at home to YouTube videos is great, but again, limited by how much "no pain no gain" one is willing to endure.



But here's the good news: there are 2 things you can do right now in the privacy of your own home to significantly improve your immune system.

1. Institute The 5-minute Pity Party.

I don't know about you, but my first response to my finding out my ballet and ballroom classes were shut down indefinitely was to call my BFF and whine. Loudly. For a good 15 minutes. Poor woman, I'm surprised we're still BFFs. Oddly enough, when all my work cancelled, I didn't have a melt-down, because at that point I still had dance to help me keep my sanity. But once the dance classes went, that's it, I lost it.

That's when I knew I needed to institute the 5-minute Pity Party. The 5-minute Pity Party is when you acknowledge that you need to rant, rave, whine and generally have a FIT over whatever aspect of your life has just been nuked by the coronavirus. It doesn't matter whether it's your job you can't go to, your child who now relies on you 24-7 for all education, entertainment, maintenance, etc., or your gym/church/class you can't go to, it's time for a release of your anguish. Fine.

Set a timer for 5 minutes. Have at it! In the safety of your shower, bathroom, parked car, wherever you have maximum privacy, let it all out. Scream if need be at the injustice of it all, wail your despair at what seems to be a hopeless situation, and cry out your woe-is-me to your heart's content. But when that timer dings, you're done. Pick yourself up off the floor of misery and regroup. Move on to step 2.

2. Value What You Can Today For A Better Tomorrow.

There are actually 2 parts to this step. One is how you think/feel, the other is what you do.

A. Think/Feel

Look around you. What can you appreciate about your life right here, right now? You still enjoy running water and electricity, you still have a roof over your head. Don't let thoughts like "Yeah, but for how long?" intrude. You still have whatever health you enjoy. You still have your friends/family. You have endless access to resources via the internet. Dwell on whatever you can find to appreciate, to value and be grateful for, because that single action will have a dramatic, positive impact on your immune system.

You see, when we think/feel negativity, our immune systems suffer. And when our immune systems cease functioning optimally, our health can rapidly decline. So bolster your positive thinking as much as you can. Turn yourself into an optimist. Because optimists thrive-and so should you.



B. Do

Get creative! What's the best possible use of the time you now have? Many are finding that with a little creativity they can continue some or all of their business using online platforms mostly from home. There are always projects we let go by the wayside for lack of time, how about picking up some of those now?

Make daily (realistic) lists of what you want to accomplish, and check off items as you get them done. You will feel productive like you're not just spinning your wheels, and with that, your immune system will benefit. In the long term, so will your life.

In every crisis, there is opportunity for new growth, new inspiration. Let's keep our moments of dark despair as brief as possible and amp our times of appreciation as much as possible so that we come out of this challenging situation stronger and better than ever.

Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. She is the author of "Happy Healthy... Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right" (MindLab Publishing). You Matter. You Count. You Are Important. Visit http://www.noellenelson.com, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings

 

Coronavirus COVID-19: What To Make Of It and What To Learn From It

So, what is COVID-19 trying to tell us?

  1. Pay attention

No other virus, war, natural disaster or other similar adversity has managed to draw the COLLECTIVE attention in such a powerful way for a very long time. The question what exactly we need to pay attention to is complex (as there are many things that we have been sweeping under the carpet). But isn't it wonderful that we are forced to slow down, stay home, and (hopefully) reflect without distractions on what is important, what is valuable and what is worth spending our life on. Of course, if we waste this valuable time on watching cute puppies and posting stupid videos on Facebook instead of paying attention to what really matters, we are seriously missing the point here.

  1. We are in all connected (otherwise known as "A lesson in Oneness")

If we ever needed proof that we are all connected and that everything we touch (literally as well as metaphorically) is connected to everything else, now we have it. Finally (and hopefully) a big realization is starting to dawn on us: we can no longer continue to "pee" in one end of the pool (i.e. the Planet) and go swim in the other end thinking that our shit won't catch up with us. We all swim in the same pool and whatever we do in that pool does come back to us. Thus, taking "dirty" production out of Europe into China (and this is just one of millions of examples of separation) cannot and does not serve Europe (or any other continent for that matter). For the shit inevitably comes back, as the virus spread is illustrating clearly. Incidentally, isn't it remarkable that a situation that calls for social isolation (i.e. apparent separation) in fact intensifies the feeling that we are all connected, that we are all in this (and every other thing) together!



  1. It's time for renewal

Old structures need to be torn down so we can start fresh (hopefully with new awareness albeit with little resources). On the face of it, it is not accidental that the virus has so far targeted the life of primarily old people with one, two or more pre-existing conditions, i.e. these are people that should have been dead a while ago if it weren't for the artificial ways of extending life. But the artificial life-saving resources are now running out (no breathing machines, no medical personnel or other supplies). So that should make us rethink the life-saving technologies that so many people have come to rely on and have, as a result, relinquished personal health responsibilities. What about focusing on disease prevention plans instead (when the pandemic is over): healthy eating, exercising, meditating, etc.? How many people would have heart disease and diabetes (the two top conditions that go hand-in-hand with coronavirus deaths), if there was no junk food or modern stress?

  1. Get comfortable with death by making every moment of life count

Death in and of itself is not a tragedy. Rather, a wasted life is a tragedy. A person who has lived with integrity, has contributed meaningfully to themselves and to the society, and has maintained quality relationships during their life time, has no regrets. This kind of person is ready to die anytime, and happily. Become that person yourself. Re-evaluate your priorities and start spending time on what matters. Let go of the grudge. Start to feel that you are connected to all other human beings. Forgive. Feel more love and less resentment. Stop living a tragic life and your death won't be tragic either. They can both be a celebration.So these are some of the messages I think we need to hear right now. Of course, there are many other things to be taken into account and much more will be revealed to us in the course of this experience. That's why we need to stay flexible, observe carefully (pay attention), ask smart questions and continue to search for their answers deep within. This way we are really taking advantage of the situation by cleaning up our own baggage. Any other behaviour (e.g. impatience, frustration, anger and looking forward to this blowing over so things can go back to "normal") is immature. We need a shift in consciousness (to shift the virus) and if we resist it, the virus will persist.

Vyara Bridgeman is an Advanced Certified BodyTalk practitioner who works with patients from all over the world suffering a variety of physical, mental and emotional conditions. To find out more about Vyara's BodyTalk practice, what her clients say about her, and how she can help you achieve a balanced body-mind, visit: http://www.BodyTalk4Life.com

 

The Master Key to Landing a Man on the Moon

 

A boulder field.

Fuel running out.

Neil Armstrong's heart rate hit 160 beats per minute.

He was sweating.

But he didn't sound worried or anxious.

He sounded cool.

Calm.

In control.

Because he was.



He had overridden the computer controls and was manually flying the craft to find a flat area to set the Eagle lander on the surface of the Moon.

The seconds ticked.

The Eagle's occupants, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, were so close to the Moon's surface that the craft's thrusters were kicking sand upwards, occluding the astronauts' vision.

The Moon, the enchantress and seductress of the Ancients, was bedevilling mankind once again.

There were but two options at this critical juncture.

Should they continue?

Should they abort?

The eyes of the world were on these two men, yet they sounded completely cool...



... completely collected...

... and completely awesome.

Neil Armstrong had, some would say, been preparing for a moment just like this his whole life. Steve Jobs said that you "can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards." That's where we are now as we look back on this monumental feat.

But I can imagine that Neil Armstrong knew that he would land his craft safely and perfectly.

He knew that he would, by the Grace of God, accomplish the mission.

Yes, he knew that he would be the first man to truly become an extra-terrestrial by stepping onto and walking on the surface of the Moon, the goal that was set by the late President John F. Kennedy nine years prior to this epic historic moment.

When President Kennedy decided in 1960 that the United States would put a man on the Moon in ten years, most of the technology to accomplish the task was not yet available. But here we find the key -- the Master Key. The decision to put a man on the Moon -- the belief in its possibility and the belief that it could be achieved -- produced the necessary scientific and technological breakthroughs to make it possible.

Charles F. Haanel wrote in The Master Key System that "the real secret of power is consciousness of power." This is what brings everything into reality.

Everything.

Be it good...

... or bad.

What you want...

... or what you dislike.

This is how a man was landed on the Moon.

A goal was set.

It was believed.

Plans were made and...

... pictures were created and...

... the goal became tangible.

It became magnetic and the excitement and energy and activity attracted the best and the brightest, all of whom contributed by solving problems and sharing ideas and motivating each other.

And it became focused on one man as he guided his spaceship onto the lunar surface. This one man who trained...

... and prepared...

... and practised.

This man who would speak almost casually into his radio on July 20, 1969, "Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed."

Calm. Cool. Collected.

Related: 

How to Increase Personal Motivation to Achieve Your Goals

This is the result of thinking, which is, in the words of Charles F. Haanel, "Clear, decisive, calm, deliberate, sustained thought with a definite end in view."

This is what you open when you use your Master Key.

You define audacious goals.

And you achieve them.

Deliberately. Assiduously. Markedly.

Calmly. Cooly. Collectedly.



And you make giant leaps.

Because that's what happens as you exercise your inner power.

Because that's what happens when you attempt grand things "not because they are easy, but because they are hard."

Anthony R. Michalski/Master Key Coaching
http://www.masterkeycoaching.com