Five Simple Tips for Your Personality and Personal Growth

Many people are in search of things that can develop their personality and personal growth. If you are the same as most people, though, you must be more interested on strategies and tips for self help personal development, which can help you obtain your objectives, boost your confidence, and encourage your personal spiritual growth.

As one of the many self-improvement tips seekers, I have written some suggestions that hopefully can help other people in enhancing their personality development. Here are five simple proposals for spiritual and personal growth that you can incorporate in your daily routine after reading this article.

1. Do Not Assume You Know Everything

Humility should be the first and foremost habit that a person must have in order to achieve personality and personal growth. In terms of personal development, assuming that you already know almost everything is the initial sign that your spiritual and personal growth has languished. The people who achieved the most personality and spiritual advancement are those who believe there is an overpowering majority of things they are not aware of.



2. Optimism Should be Balanced With Critical Thinking

Although there are many talks on the advantages of being optimistic and positive thinker, being always optimistic may lead you to not notice the importance of critical thinking. It is also crucial to cultivate your critical thinking skill because this skill will help you learn accept failure without having nonconstructive effects on you. There are times when you will still fail regardless of how hard you try or how knowledgeable you are, and critical thinking will help you accept the fact that there are still lots of things you have to learn.

3. Find the Meaning in Nature

Despite of the thousands of books released concerning personality and personal growth, most thought provoking things that can boost our personality growth are found in nature. The novelist C.S. Lewis once stated his belief that many of the people's problems are the consequence of the reality that people are so detached with other creations. People are mostly inside man-made surroundings full of technologies and inventions that is why they fail to recognize the wonders of nature that might help in encouraging their personal growth development.

If you just spend a little more time outside, you will find massive assortment of lessons that can be applied for the advancement of not only your spiritual development, but your personality and personal growth as well.


What Is The Purpose Of Life? The Top 3 Ways To Finding Meaning In Your Life (It's Never Too Late)

 

4. Take Care of Your Health and Your Body

It is mentioned in the New Testament that our body is a temple, which is, if you contemplate about it, not just a religious statement. Having a fragile body and weak health will result to lack of energy and willpower, not allowing you to concentrate on important things more than your dull daily routine. When you have excellent health and your body is in good condition, though, you will feel you are bursting with energy, which allows you to focus on things and allocate your energies on actions that will assist the development of your personal and persona growth.



5. Establish a Central Purpose

Personal and personal growth is among the most gratifying things that life can give us. However, there is also the possibility to be trapped and get stuck in our journey to attain spiritual and personal advancement. We might end up lost and confused because we just aimed for personality development for personal growth development's sake only. To avoid bewilderment and being out of focus, you must have a central purpose. Your central purpose will help you stay on the right track and will give you the motivation and energy you need to carry on during hopeless times.

For more self improvement ideas  go to my website [http://www.myselfimprovementsite.org].

 

Facing Your Fears

What's stopping you from doing what you want and having what you desire? With rare exceptions, when you strip away all the excuses, it's fear-fear of doing whatever it is that you must do to achieve your goals.

Fear is one of our most basic instincts and it's key to our survival. It's easy to dismiss fear as cowardice, but it's not. Rather, cowardice is just one of many possible responses to fear; courage is another. Fear itself is not necessarily bad. In fact, it serves a purpose by protecting life and helping us avoid danger.

Fear can get our hearts pumping and our adrenalin flowing. You probably know people who like being scared because they like what it does to their bodies-these are thrill-seekers who search out dangerous activities and who use their fears to accomplish amazing things. Whether you like roller coasters and parachuting and mountain climbing or not, you don't have to enjoy fear to make it work for you.

The key is to understand your fears and put them in perspective so you can deal with them appropriately. When you feel fear, before you respond, stop and figure out: Is there a real danger there? If so, exactly what is the danger and what do you need to do to protect yourself? And if there's no real danger, what is driving the feeling?



What are you afraid of?

What frightens you? Flying? Jumping out of an airplane? Maybe you're afraid of water. Or creatures-dogs, cats, spiders or snakes. You might be fearful of crowds or public speaking-or even change. And it could be that you're afraid of anything that involves risk.

The reality is that life is risky. Anything worth having is likely going to involve some sort of risk, whether it's physical, financial, or emotional. And it's natural for those risks to generate fear. What separates achievers from non-achievers is that the achievers know how to control and use the natural emotion of fear to their advantage.

Uncontrolled fear robs you of your self-confidence and your ability to be effective. Fear that is under control and managed can be extremely productive because it can drive you to carefully examine risks and take steps to control and minimize them.

Overcome Self-Doubt – Lose The Illogical Perspective

 

Responding to fear

There are three basic ways you can respond to fear:

1. Ignore it.

2. Avoid it.

3. Confront it.

Simply ignoring fear-for example, thinking "I'm afraid to do this but I'm just going to plow ahead,"-is the least effective way to respond to feelings of fear. You can't completely ignore your fear because if you don't deal with it, it will always be in your mind, causing stress and blocking your ability to perform at your peak.



Denying fear-insisting that you're not really afraid, you just "don't want to do" that-is a form of ignoring it. If you know that taking a particular action could produce results you want but you refuse to do it, do some careful self-examination to determine if you're really denying a fear.

Avoiding fear is only slightly better than ignoring it. At least when you avoid fear, you have acknowledged it and are trying to push it to the side and go around it. But that's only a temporary fix for a long-term problem.

What works best in both the short- and long-term is confronting your fears and overcoming them. Recognize what you are afraid of, take ownership of it, deal with it, and work on achieving your desired result. In the process, you destroy the fear.

Life’s Biggest Con

Confronting your fear lets you shine a light on it, and when you do that, you'll often see that the fear isn't real. Think back to when you were a child and believed that monsters were lurking under your bed or in the closet. Your parents would come in, turn the light on, and you could see that there were no monsters. Shining a light on adult fears is not always so simple, but it's just as effective. For example, let's say you'd like to make an investment, but fear is stopping you. Shine a light on it. What are you really afraid of? What's the worst that could happen? Now, what can you do to reduce the risk? And if you do that, is your fear still valid?

Remember that on the other side of every fear is freedom, achievement, and peace.

The most common fears

We like to believe that we are special and unique, but when it comes to fear, we are rarely in a class by ourselves. Fears that tend to stop most of us from reaching our goals include the fear of failure and its companion fear of success; fear of ridicule; fear of discomfort; and even fear of the spotlight. Let's look at each of them.



Fear of failure is completely understandable. No one likes to fail. We don't want to disappoint ourselves or others. But just because you make a mistake or are not immediately successful does not mean you've failed. The primary way we solve life's problems is through trial and error. When you make a mistake, you haven't failed - you've simply learned a strategy that didn't work. None of the great inventions that we take for granted today were successfully produced on the first try. Even the best sports players don't score every time. Put your fear of failure into this context: Some of the things you try won't work, but all that means is that those things particular things you did didn't work. As long as you try again, you didn't fail and you are not a failure.

Let's look at the opposite side of the fear of failure and consider the fear of success. The fear of success can be almost as paralyzing as the fear of failure, and it often follows when you've conquered the fear of failure. Some people let the fear of success sabotage their efforts because they're afraid of what might happen when they become successful. Success can be both intoxicating and frightening. Conquer your fear of success with a plan to manage your success.

On Confidence (Or – Don’t Be Scurred!)

Still another common fear is that of ridicule. We don't want to be made fun of. You can't control what other people think and say, but you can control how you react to it. Of course, just ignoring ridicule is much easier said than done, especially when the ridicule is coming from someone we care about. It helps to attempt to understand what's driving the person who is doing the ridiculing-most people who ridicule others are attempting to mask their own weaknesses and fears. Consider diffusing the ridicule with semi-agreement: "Sure, I may be crazy for trying, but at least I'm trying-and you never know, I could succeed." And when you do succeed, you won't have to say a word.

The fear of discomfort can be quite powerful. Most of us like to stay in our comfort zone with familiar people and things. Certainly it's easier to do what's comfortable, such as watching television rather than heading to the gym or staying in a dead-end job rather than doing what it takes to get out of it. But doing what's comfortable today will likely result in something worse than discomfort tomorrow. Staying comfortable means staying in a rut and not stretching for something better.

It's also understandable to fear the spotlight. Every day we see the most intimate details of the lives of politicians and celebrities held up for scrutiny by strangers, and while we might be intrigued by scandals and gossip, we don't want to be under that microscope ourselves. Fortunately, most of us don't have to seriously worry about that. But you might fear being the center of attention even in a small way, such as having to make a presentation in front of a group or even being recognized for an achievement. With practice and preparation, you can overcome a fear of the spotlight.



Use the incredibly powerful tool of visualization. If you focus on your fear and visualize the worst happening, it certainly will. Instead, visualize your success and the results you want, then see yourself going through the steps that will make that happen. When it comes time to actually do whatever is causing you fear, you'll be relaxed and confident because you've done it before in your mind and you know it's going to work.

It's also important to recognize that fear is contagious. You can be infected by other people's fears. Sometimes these people are fearful because they genuinely want to protect you; other times, they express fear that they hope will stop you because they are afraid your success with reveal their own shortcomings. In either case, you need to give yourself a mental vaccine to protect yourself from other people's fears.

Unfortunately, for most of us conquering fear is not a one-time thing that we can do and then never have to deal with again. Fear is a normal emotion that you will experience over and over. The key is to not let fears scare you into inaction but to use them to prepare yourself to reach your goals.

Jacquelyn Lynn (http://www.jacquelynlynn.com) is a business writer based in Orlando, Florida, and the author of Entrepreneur's Almanac (Entrepreneur Press Nov. 2007); Online Shopper's Survival Guide and co-author of Make Big Profits on eBay (with Charlene Davis). She is also the host of Doing It Right Radio® (http://www.doingitrightradio.com).

Retrain your Brain and Tame Stressful Emotions with Mindfulness


>According to the 2014 Stress in America Survey, conducted and published by the American Psychological Association:

• 72% of U.S. adults reported feeling very stressed about money;

• 26% of respondents reported feeling stressed about money most or all of the time;
• 41% of those married or living with a partner reported having lost patience or yelled at their partner due to stress in the last month;
• 18% reported losing their tempers with coworkers;
• 35% reported constant nervousness or anxiety; and
• 32% reported prolonged periods of depression or sadness.

How Can You Keep Your Cool?

While you may not be able to change stressful external circumstances, you can change your response.

Mindfulness is a scientifically proven approach to self-calming and increased compassion toward others, and it can help alleviate all of these struggles you might be having.

So what exactly is mindfulness and how might it help you?

Mindfulness is defined as "the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally only to the unfolding of experience moment by moment" (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

The definition of mindfulness has several components:

1. Using self-regulation of attention either by focusing on your inner experience or outer experience in the present moment. The focus is on being present to your immediate experience, which allows an increased awareness of the now.

2. Adopting an attitude of curiosity, openness, and acceptance toward your experiences in the present moment.

3. Refraining from turning away from unpleasant experiences and instead maintaining an open and compassionate attitude and a willingness to let things be as they are.

4. Focusing more on conscious control of your inner state instead of unconscious reliving of past learning.

Mindfulness is a systematic approach that has been rigorously studied by science. It is not a religion and it is compatible with many different faiths. Mindfulness practices have been found to reduce stress, anxiety, and burnout. Those who practice it are able to increase their self-esteem, empathy, self acceptance and regulation of emotion, due to their ability to take conscious control of thought processes.

Mindfulness has been extensively researched and shown to help with stress management, self-compassion, pain management, and overall happiness. Though it requires practice and attention, and is therefore not for everyone, there is a formal practice called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction developed and researched by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn of the University of Massachusetts Medical School Center for Mindfulness.

Mindfulness Practice

In my work as a psychotherapist, I developed a way to help my clients practice mindfulness throughout the day: Thinking of the word NOW is a reminder to drop into the present moment and pay attention without judgment.

• "N" stands for NOW, a reminder to stop, breathe, and attend to the present.

• "O" stands for OPPORTUNITY, a reminder to learn the lessons of living and become better instead of bitter.

• "W" stands for WITHIN, a reminder that regardless of life circumstances, you can find inner resources within yourself for healing and wholeness.

Train Your Brain

One problem with the evolution of our brains is that the "low road" part of our brain evolved for survival purposes, and has a quick startle response to anything that seems threatening. Of course, there are very few immediate threats in our current life, and so most of us overreact to things that we need not fear. We may overreact to a frown from an authority figure, back talk from our child, or an unkind gesture from our spouse. We can benefit in all of these situations from taking what scientists call the "high road" in the brain, and not responding from a startle or fear response. This allows for more informed decision-making instead of simply reacting based upon past learning.

When you are able to be fully present and aware, you have an open mind and open heart that are better able to make creative and meaningful choices. You learn life lessons and develop flexible new behaviors that lead to realizing your full potential. When we follow the low road in our brain, our potential is limited by our past learning.

As a result of adopting a full awareness of the present reality, we discover new opportunities and focus on positive feelings connected with inner potential and strengths. In other words, we are better able to develop our best self-based on acting from love, not fear.

Change Your Brain

Mindfulness practices have been proven by neuroscience to actually change the structure and function in the brain. When we engage in a regular practice of mindfulness for at least eight weeks, there is a thickening of the high road regions of the prefrontal cortex, the area relevant to an individual's ability to focus and engage in reflection prior to taking action. There is also a thinning of fear activation in the amygdala, the low road part of the brain, and this helps us to break the pattern of reactive fight or flight responses. Science has also found that mindfulness practice can help people defuse ill feelings or negativity by augmenting the brain's gamma waves, which are associated with an increased ability to tolerate ambiguity and relinquish control.

When you are able to let go of the need to be right or perfect, there's an increased integration of body, emotion, and mind. You learn to see a person with the freshness of mind and an openness of heart. Although you care about the pain and suffering of others, you're able to remember that you cannot make choices for them or control their lives.

Jon Kabat-Zinn also describes mindfulness as an inclusion of an affectionate, compassionate quality with the sense of open-hearted friendly presence and interest. For example, rather than immediately reacting from the low road if someone has made a comment that you find threatening, you stop in a curious way and ask, what do you mean? Countless arguments could be avoided on the basis of that one question. Either you misunderstood the meaning, or, if you take the high road, you become curious about what is going on and thus take a more effective response.

In summary:

• Mindfulness is a systematic and scientific approach to relaxation and stress reduction.

• Mindfulness helps take you to the higher regions of your brain such as the frontal cortex where you are able to make more informed and creative decisions.

• Mindfulness helps adapt to modern realities where most threats are actually in our minds.

• The physical structure of the brain can be altered through regular practice of mindfulness, for at least eight weeks.

• It is possible to train your brain to be more agile, flexible, and in a state of learning new and better ways to handle your life.

Dr. Linda Miles, is a highly regarded psychotherapist with over 30 years experience. Her book The New Marriage,Transcending the Happily Ever After Myth was a finalist for the Foreward Book of the Year Award. She has written many articles for professionals and published in national magazines such as Parents and Entrepreneur. Learn more about Mindfulness at http://www.mindfulnessrewrites.com

The Moment All Confidence Is Born

All confidence is born in a tiny, fleeting easy to miss moment. These moments happen hundreds of times a day. Confident people have taught themselves to (1) spot these opportunities, and (2) once spotted - to give birth to their confidence.

All confidence is not fixed, but it's in a constant state of fluctuation. Confidence is always going up and down. This is normal. Everything that happens to you every second of each day moves your confidence up or down, causing this fluctuation.

You are talking to yourself twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. You are likely to have become so used to this internal chatter that you don't even realize it's happening. But listening to what your inner voice is saying to you is critical in your pursuit of confidence.

Sadly for most of us this inner voice is negative, fearful and insecure, in other words - not confident. It drags you down till you are insecure. Even the most confident of people have moments when this internal voice is negative, and this makes their confidence drop.

The secret to confidence is:

1 - It's not a one-time-deal. You don't just become confident once, and that's it you are confident for life.

2 - Confidence is made up of all the seconds of your life. Confidence is made up of the 86,400 seconds in each of your days.

3 - The more seconds in your day you are confident the more confident you will be.

The secret to being more confident is to ensure that you work to make sure that you feel confident for as many seconds each day as possible.

How do you feel confident? You just think confident thoughts.

How do you ensure that you spend as much of each day thinking confident thoughts? You learn to spot the tiny fleeting birth moments of confidence.




What does a confidence birth moment look like?

Let us imagine two people:

1 - Mr or Mrs Confident, and

2 - You.

Let us suppose your lives are identical in every respect, apart from confidence.

The post or an email arrives with a bill. You open your bill, and the other you opens their bill in their parallel universe.

Your bills are much higher than you were expecting.

Both of your inner voices say the following:

"Oh no. How much? What am I going to do? How am I going to afford this? Where will I get the money from? Why is so big? What if this happens next month? What did I do wrong? How am I going to fix this? Why does this happen to me?" and so on.

I bet you've had this sort of mental conversation many many times?

Now it's precisely when this sort of conversation is going on in your head, that the birth moment of confidence creeps up on you silently, waits for a split second and then is gone... almost un-noticed by you. This is the key, the very heart of the confident / not confident dilemma.

What happens in that tiny moment determines whether you'll become more confident, or less confident, and the key to this moment is:

- recognizing that you are thinking negatively.

The birth of confidence lies in that tiny moment when you realize your thoughts are full of doubt, fear, weakness, worries and insecurities.

Now whether you become more or less confident:

- all depends on what you do with that recognition. It depends on how you respond.

There are now two ways you can go:

1 - Less confident, or

2 - More confident.

What is the difference in the response of a non-confident person, and a confident person?




A Non Confident Person

A non-confident person will, realize they are thinking negatively, pause for a second and then just go back into the swirl of worry, stress and low self-esteem. They've missed their chance.

A Confident Person

A confident person will, realize they are thinking from an un-confident position, and decide that they really really don't want that. They will find a way, by any means to get their head thinking about whatever the issue is - from a more positive position. They don't have to think much more positively. Any improvement is improvement enough.

That's all the difference there is.

You might also like  

How To Keep A Positive Attitude … When You Don’t Feel Like It

Now this scenario happens hundreds of times a day. All the difference there is between a person of high or low self-esteem, is that the person of high self-esteem:

1 - Spots when they are thinking negatively and then switches to something more positive, and

2 - They do this hundreds of times every day.

The difference is as small as that. The birth of confidence, every time is so easy to miss. But now that you know about it, you need to make every effort to train yourself, starting today, to work at it every day, to constantly improve your ability to (1) spot when you are thinking negatively, and (2) each time you do switch your thoughts to something more positive, aren't you?

So to finish, the key to this whole article - and to you becoming more confident, is to:

- recognize when you are thinking negatively, and then do something, whatever it takes, to get your mind thinking more confidently, even if it's just slightly more confidently, hundreds of times each day.

Author:  Damian Miles

I am a confidence coach and NLP Practitioner and an expert in helping people to live the life of their dreams. I offer free coaching sessions. I just love to help people raise their self-esteem!
If you want a FREE coaching session, just call me on +44 (0)7739362979.
I am also the author of a number of books on self-esteem which are available at all major eBook retailers. My books include:
- How to Love Forever
- The A to Z of Confidence
- A Quick Guide To Living Forever
- 30 Seconds To Happiness
- 42 Day's To Confidence
Please go and check my books out, at all major eBook sellers, such as Amazon (click here to see my books on Amazon ) and enjoy reading a free sample of each one.

Forget About Never Being Made Fun of: Here’s What to Do Instead

Being made fun of is probably one of the most common fears among people with confidence and self-esteem issues. And for many a good reason.

With the possible exception of Larry David and other deliberately self-deprecating comedians, nobody likes being made fun of. When somebody makes fun of us, a part of us is involuntarily exposed beyond our control. We don't get to decide when it happens, or in front of whom, or the specific subject matter.

If we feel particularly vulnerable towards ridicule, we might feel like preventing being made fun of by only surrounding ourselves with asskissers and yes-men. But really, show me just one person who's effectively made that idea work.

Or, we might feel like not surrounding ourselves with people at all - yet another common go-to idea amongst non-fidents. And can you guess if that's really a good, sensible idea?

Yeah, I thought so.

So, what do we do about being made fun of, then?

Well, as with a great many other things in life, there are options. And, as with life in general, there's no manual. So, in practice, it really comes down to personal preference and simply winging it.

However, if we wish to take the path of confidence, there are certain things to consider.

You see, confidence is all about latitude and inclusiveness. The more confident we are, the bigger we consider ourselves. And the bigger we consider ourselves, the more we allow ourselves to contain. Even being made fun of.

This doesn't mean we should lie down and take one insult after another like a little, submissive bitch. It means we should consider the reasons we might FEEL like a little, submissive bitch. Is it someone else "making" us feel this way? Or would we feel this way at all if we weren't disposed towards it in the first place?

This is a provocative question, I know. And as such, it's all the more important to consider.




And here's something else...

Have you ever noticed how no matter what happens in any given week, satirical shows will necessarily find a way to poke fun at it?

In fact, have you ever noticed how you're not the only person being made fun of? And, indeed, have you ever noticed how anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time?

Yes, they can. And this just so happens to include you. And me. In fact, everyone.

This is one of those inescapable conditions of being human. There's no changing it.

And this is why, when we try to actively escape or refrain from being made fun of, it only makes us look even more pathetic and hilarious. Because, considering how far we've come as a civilization, certain human traits ARE still pretty inelegant.

So accept it. Forget about never being made fun of. Instead, learn to embrace and love the idea that anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time - including you. Anything else is just fear-based insecurity.

Which everybody has. It's just that confident people act in spite of it. And Hell, confident people even make fun of themselves.

MENTAL EXERCISE

1) Turn off your phone, and eliminate all other possible distractions.

2) Close your eyes.

3) Now imagine that you're 200 feet tall and made out of diamonds.

4) Get heavy on the details. Imagine your surroundings. Where are you at? Is it a city? If yes, which one, and which part of it?

Try walking around. What do people, buildings, animals, cars, streets, etc. look like from up there?

Engage your other senses as well. Are you hearing the wind more clearly up there? Maybe tasting the cool air?

Are you walking slowly and confidently? Do movements seem slower? Maybe less risky than usual?

Try doing this for 5 minutes. Notice how you feel afterwards.

It's when we think of ourselves as big that we grow a little.

As a confidence coach, Andy Kay helps people who are held back -- by fear, overwhelm, anxiety, indecisiveness, anything. After years studying confident, successful people, he knows what works and what doesn't. He doesn't… tolerate "spiritual" BS about "higher powers" and "purposes". -- We have access to all the power we need to achieve our own purposes; period.

Visit https://www.getconfidencecoaching.com and get confidence and empowerment for free!

Overcome Self-Doubt – Lose the Illogical Perspective

What is Self-Doubt?

 

I am very familiar with self-doubt. I lived with it for many years, buying into my inner critic and making way for fear to take over. Even though I was told by my parents and mentors how capable I was, the self-doubt kept me paralysed, afraid to even make an attempt at something. I often felt not smart enough, or good enough to even take the first step. I even believed that success was not meant for me. I look back on all the opportunities I missed out on and it is for this reason I write this article in hopes that you the reader can realize how illogical and damaging self-doubt can be.

Self-doubt should be synonymous with paralysis. It is immobilizing and disables the sufferer, preventing him/her from making strides in life. Think back to a time when you felt enthusiastic about a goal and as the time approached for taking that first step, the momentum began to slow down. That little voice inside you head began to say:

  • Are you sure you can do this?
  • What happens if you mess up?
  • Maybe you need to wait - maybe you're not ready

As the days went by you began to doubt your ability to get the task done and before long things were moving in slow motion. You felt stumped, pressured, like all eyes are on you. Then you quit.

 

When feelings of doubt are allowed in our lives, we are unable to achieve our goals or even conceive them. Doubt is that inner voice that often lets us know how incapable we are of accomplishing something. When we are confident we can drive away the doubts. However, when we are not, the doubts will continue to dominate our thoughts, leaving us to feel inadequate. That's right our thoughts! The thoughts take over and before long we begin to believe that no matter what we attempt it wouldn't amount to much, so why even bother? Over time this mentality begins to define us and we fade into the shadows.

It all begins with a thought followed by an action or behaviour. When we allow doubtful thoughts to control our thinking process, we can miss out on many important opportunities in life. The doubts enable a pessimistic outlook and the ability to focus on the positive things in our lives is lost. Then the capacity for learning and growing is slowed down. Many become cynical, depressed, or anxious and a life of mediocrity emerges with little hope for the future. Now, I'm sure this is not the life you plan for.




Is self-doubt consuming you? Are you unable to stop the doubtful thoughts? Is it interfering with your ability to achieve? Begin to recognize these episodes and how frequent they are. Become more aware of what the doubts say and write them down.

 

What Causes Self-Doubt?

 

We are born into societies where there are so many expectations we all have to live up to.

  • There are certain developmental stages and levels each of us are expected to reach from birth. If not we are considered underdeveloped or slow
  • We enter into the school system and expected to complete elementary, middle, and high school. We receive more popularity and recognition when we excel
  • Our parents have their own set of expectations for us
  • Our teachers have their expectations for us
  • After high school we are expected to make a decision for a career and decide where we plan to acquire that skill - what school we will attend, what level of education we want to have, what job title we want to hold.
  • Once we are ready to enter into the business world there are more expectations and successes to attain
  • Then there are the expectations by society, the status, prestige, material possessions. Our society today measures success and achievement by one's net worth.

In order to be considered functional or successful in modern society the above standards are expected to be met. Children are hardly allowed to be children to run around freely with little fear. Instead they feel scared to make mistakes. We live in an age of high motivation and enthusiasm and where everyone seems to have an image of success. Image is what's important, and some even promote that you fake it till you make it. Many of you feel pressured to live up to these expectations and may feel as if you are letting down yourself or your family if you don't. So from that very first grade you receive in elementary school you feel as if you are a specimen under a microscope afraid to mess up and where a pressure to perform or a fear of rejection constantly looms overhead.

True the expectations set for us enable us to become high achievers and attain soaring levels of accomplishment and satisfaction in life. However, for many this can have the reverse effect. When one lacks self-confidence these standards set by society or families can lead to doubt and fear. When one has self-doubt, their limitations are exaggerated to the point that it takes over the thought process and distorts the belief system.

Doubt can be caused by some of the following:

  • Believing that your emotional security depends on someone or something.
  • Feelings of inferiority
  • Low self-esteem
  • Feeling a lack of control over your life
  • Believing that you are not good enough or smart enough to even attempt the smallest of tasks.
  • Anticipating failure even before you begin
  • Unresolved psychological trauma
  • Depression
  • An environment that breeds doubt and negativity
  • Rejection

 

Fear, the Accomplice

 

Doubting oneself is an indication of a greater fear. You know you feel fearful but it's difficult to identify what it is you are afraid of. It could be fear of failure, pressure to perform, or even fear of success. The doubting thoughts begin to take over and the inner critic is eager and ready to help you rationalize your doubts.

 




 

Fear is the accomplice of your doubts. The moment the doubts arise, fear moves in and takes over. Fear lets you compare yourself to others and keeps you focused on what you cannot do rather than what you can do. I recall when I returned to college at 30 how doubtful I felt at first. I saw all the energetic, enthusiastic students, fresh out of high school with their minds intact and ready for learning and I saw myself as old and less capable. My doubts turned into fear and at some point I wanted to quit - to give up and not even try. My fears had such a hold on me that I was willing to throw away a hopeful future. I became frustrated, sarcastic, and closed off from the world. Luckily, my parents and my mentor recognized my fears and countered them, encouraging me to take the first step forward.

 

Self-awareness is a critical step to overcoming fear and removing doubt. When fear is allowed to dominate, all hope is lost. Sadly, we cannot even recognize our fears and doubts thus they continue to control our lives. This is why having mentors, coaches or people close to us are an essential part of achieving success. The more we know about ourselves, the more in tune we are about what holds us back. The more aware we are the more empowered we are to do something about it. We can begin to identify the source of our fears. Is it coming from a past trauma, the way you were raised, or is it a perception of the present or future? Is it a lack of confidence? With becoming more self-aware, we are quicker to admit our fears and handle life in a more productive way. Self-awareness triggers acceptance, which opens up the door for healing. This allows us to seek the help we need to deal with our fears and let go of doubt.

 

Do you know your fears? Are you aware of what holds you back? Take this time to look inside. Be true to yourself. This begins the process of letting go of doubt. If not, allow a mentor or a coach in to give you the insight you need to move forward.

 

Pivotal resilience

 

Letting Go Of Doubt

 

We all have moments throughout our lives where we doubt ourselves. Many can let go of them and not allow them to take over, while others fall victim to the intrusive thoughts that undermine your ability to succeed. And remember they are all thoughts. So who keeps the thought in your mind? You do! Let's take a look at how to let go of doubts.

 

The best way to let go of doubt is to build your self-confidence. This means feeling better about your own abilities. When you feel incapable and begin to doubt yourself, fear is right around the corner just waiting to move in and reside in your psyche. Once fear enters the subconscious, the negative talk begins, the self-criticism emerges and the vicious cycle continues. Here are some ways to build your confidence.

  • Educate yourself in whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. Take a course, attend seminars, workshops, meet people in that field and network. The more you know the more empowered you feel and empowerment removes doubts.
  • Associate with positive people who recognize your abilities and encourage your efforts. Get their feedback about your ideas - most likely it will be more objective and beneficial. Avoid the negative folks. Negative people are also full of self-doubt and will work to bring you down to their level of insecurity. They will inject more doubt in you and your efforts can seem futile.
  • Set realistic goals. Someone once said "when in doubt take the next small step." Taking realistic steps ensure that you will be capable of accomplishing the task and build your confidence in the process. If you set unrealistic goals you most likely will fall short and this adds to level of self-doubt. With the accomplishment of each realistic task, your confidence will improve, your fears will subside, and your self-doubt will diminish.




  • Learn to handle setbacks. In life there will be successes and setbacks. Of course you want to hope for the best outcome but when disappointments arise or things didn't go as planned you have to see this as part of the game of life. Use the setbacks as an opportunity to learn and improve your game plan. This is not the time to sulk and doubt your efforts. Get some feedback from an expert in the field, make the necessary adjustments and keep moving forward.
  • Introduce more positive self-talk. Talk to yourself as if trying to encourage a doubting friend to feel better. Remind yourself "you can do it." Feed positive affirmations to yourself throughout your day until it becomes a habit. These affirmations have a tendency to replace self-doubt.
  • Learn to handle criticism. In life there are always going to be people who will try to put you down or reject your efforts. Rejection is a terrible thing and can be easily filtered through our thoughts in the form of doubts. I have seen clients who receive enormous praise for their efforts but when one person criticizes them it destroys all they good they have done. Think about how illogical this is and don't allow other people to destroy your efforts. Please click here to learn how to deal with criticism.
  • Find a coach or a mentor. At times we cannot recognize our vicious cycle of self-doubt. Others can see it but we can't. A coach or mentor can help you to identify unhealthy beliefs, doubts, and unrealistic expectations that undermine your performance. They can also help you determine the sources of doubt and resolve them. This kind of guidance can move you light years ahead in achieving your goals.

Begin today to lose the self-doubt. Take a look at what scares you the most and begin to address them. Don't continue to allow your doubts to control your destiny. It's time to look within and free yourself of doubt so you can live your full potential.

 

Audrey Marlene is an expert professional life coach whose life experiences give her more insight into playing the game of life. Her success in coaching and mentoring individuals from the impoverished to top executives has given her the leading edge in coaching.

http://www.audreymarlene-lifecoach.com

What Is The Purpose Of Life? The Top 3 Ways To Finding Meaning In Your Life (It’s Never Too Late)

 

You are meant to live a life of purpose. However, too often we fall into the trap of living a life to please someone else and not out of a sense of who we are as individuals. We are told by society and those around us what is an appropriate way to live. Many times this goes against what our spirit is trying to say to us, but we squash that and do as we are told. Because of this, we are unfulfilled by life and lose our passion for life.

Living without purpose is not how we were meant to live. We are supposed to live a life of passion and meaning. Our life should express who we are as individuals. It should inspire us and add something to the world around us. To do this, we need to follow our purpose and create the life of our dreams. We are worthy of such a life, no matter what we may think.

For me, I followed the path that I thought others wanted for me. I pursued a post-graduate degree. I followed a way that I thought would bring me happiness and fulfillment. I got a job in the corporate world and made excellent money, but I found myself unfulfilled and uninspired. When I found myself in transition, I couldn't find another good paying job. I floundered around. All I could discover were low paying, unfulfilling jobs for me. They were perfectly good jobs. However, they weren't for me. Friends and family members were telling me I needed to go to work. I needed a "normal" job to earn money. The problem was my spirit was not telling me to go this route. However, it took me a long time to listen to it. I finally realized that my soul was screaming at me that it would die if I got another corporate job. It took me a long time to listen and discover my purpose.

Does this sound familiar? Do you believe that you do not have a purpose? Everyone has a purpose. You can find it if you just listen to what your spirit is telling you. Let us look at the top three ways that you can find your life purpose.




1) Notice when you feel most alive. - As you go through your day, notice those moments when you are feeling most alive. What is happening at those moments? What are you doing? What are you thinking? It is in those moments that your spirit is telling you what your path is.

"Notice when your heart leaps up in joyous exuberance... In these moments the voice of your spirit is speaking directly to you." - Justine Willis Toms

As you start noticing those moments, you will begin to see a pattern. Look at the trends that you see and find out what they are telling you. It is giving you the path for you to walk. Are you listening?

2) Follow your passion - What are you passionate about? What is it that if you don't do it that day, at night you feel your day was not a success? Those things that we are passionate about giving us a glimpse of what motivates us, and lead us to our purpose.

"If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you into your purpose." - Bishop T. D. Jakes

Your passion opens up the doorway to your purpose. By paying attention to what you're passionate about, you'll be able to uncover what inspires you. This leads you to your purpose.

3) Trust yourself - You are enough! You are worthy! Do you believe these statements? Many times we fall into the habit that other people know best. That the experts are someone else; our parent, our pastor, our teachers, someone other than ourselves. But for our life, we are the experts. We know what is best for us. Pay attention to what you feel, what you think.

"If your life is cloudy and you find yourself far, far off course, you may have to go on faith for a while, but eventually you'll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life." - Martha Beck

We allow our heads to rule our hearts. The truth is we need to use our heads to follow our heart because our heart knows where we need to go and what path we need to follow. Trust yourself and that small voice that is telling to step out, to follow a different direction, as it will lead you to your right life.

By paying attention to these as any of these three things come up in your life, you'll be able to hone into your life purpose. You'll be able to figure out what will enable you to live a fulfilling, inspired life. And when you're living life on purpose, you are a higher value to yourself, your family, and to the world. Isn't that worth living your purpose?

Do you want to discover your life purpose and live your life to the fullest?

To be able to do this, you'll need to explore who you are and what makes you tick. Then you will need to get clear on what you want, set goals and achieve them. Go to http://www.lojope.com to find tools, articles, and the support you need.

The quickest way to achieve your goals is not to attempt them by yourself. Even if you don't hire me as your coach, hire a coach, all the high achievers do it. If you don't hire a coach, at least work with a trusted friend as the path doesn't have to be long and arduous, especially if you have someone along for the ride.

From Trent Fisher - Where Extraordinary Begins - Working to transform the world a person at a time.

 

Build Your Confidence

Read more

7 Ways to Develop Emotional Mastery

It is commonly understood that to exercise mastery on one's emotions is to master life itself. Developing emotional mastery goes a long way beyond just being less reactive to upsetting situations to being able to create a steady flow of positive healthy emotions on a regular basis, impacting every aspect of our lives. When we change the way we see things, the things we see change.

Emotional mastery or emotional intelligence is simply being aware and able to manage, control and understand one's own emotions and behavior and understand the emotions and behavior of others around us.

Here are seven ways to develop master your emotions:

1. Conscious Breathing: Just as your breath changes under emotional duress, conscious breathing can help you manage your emotions. Panicky breathing puts the body in a tense state, increasing heart rate, creating a state of anxiety. Deep relaxed breathing, reduces the heart rate, evens out blood pressure, gets more oxygen into your system and has an overall calming effect on the body.

2. Movement: Emotional mastery comes with having control over and being able to create emotional states in the body. The fact that emotions are "feelings" tells us that emotions live inside our bodies. Certain body postures are associated with people who, for example, are depressed, and other body postures are associated with people who are ecstatic.

The facial feedback hypothesis in psychology, proves the release of dopamine in the brain, when an individual is smiling, creating a wave of 'happy' even when sad.

Just moving around the body, exercising, running, dancing is enough to shift your mood tremendously.

3. Refocus: What we focus on becomes bigger, in essence we fuel the thoughts we choose to focus on, magnifying the feeling behind the thought. By simply shifting our focus to move past the event, or to a more pleasant thought associated with the experience, we expand that pleasant feeling thought, and thus shift our emotional state.

4. Reframing: looking at the situation from a different perspective. Before settling on one and only one story that 'THIS is how it is', find other ways of looking at the situation. It is not mere talk that every cloud has a silver lining. This is how optimism is cultivated. See things from a different angle, one that eases your mind than tenses you up more. It's worth spending time on changing the way we feel, cause one change doesn't go in vain, it effects our future reactions as well.




5. Gratitude: Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is life transformational. Being grateful is like putting on special glasses they bring to light all the blessings in life, which were otherwise overlooked and never appreciated, even during the most trying times. Habituating appreciation for not just the things in your life but even so much as attempting to see good in everyone and everything can be empowering in shifting the way you look at things.

6. Never Assume: The point of the matter is that an emotional reaction is simply a physical reaction to a given situation based on the beliefs you harbor in your subconscious that was a result of a previous encounter of a similar experience. An example of this could be 'There is something wrong with me, that at every job, my colleagues don't like me '. This is a belief that is made strong every time a colleague forgets to greet you, or reply to your email. There is a lesson behind every emotional reaction, and to master emotions, one should cultivate the curiosity to understanding the root or core belief that pushes you to react in a certain way. Emotional reactions can teach us something about ourselves that when understood and changed can avoid similar reactions in the future.

7. Meditation: Emotional mastery goes hand in hand with self-mastery. At the core of self mastery is self awareness. Meditation is a great tool to objectively view emotions, thoughts, events and behaviors. Meditation simply inculcates the ability to become the awareness behind a thought, than the thought itself. It distances the person from the emotion or thought, in essence the observed becomes the observer, distancing from the emotion and gaining an understanding of where it arises from. Meditation quietness and brings the mind to an altered state of awareness where things make sense and where one experiences overwhelming states of calm, tranquility, peace and relaxation. Meditation however isn't just limited to sitting crossed legged, eyes closed and focused on the breath. Meditation can refer to anything that quietness and focuses the mind, from constant traffic of thoughts to one thing. This can be brought about by creating a pattern by repeating mantras, jogging, listening to music, or simply listening to the breath.

In conclusion, we are in conscious control of how we feel. Developing the ability to deal with, change or create emotions leads to emotional mastery.

Beejal Parmar Founder & Senior Partner, True Aim Solutions

"The better you know yourself, the greater you will succeed, the happier you will be!" We help our clients discover what they need to know about themselves and others to achieve greater success and happiness in their career, business and life by providing various personality assessments and training needs analysis.

>>> We invite you to take our COMPLIMENTARY 3-minute test to discover the secrets of your personality and receive the FREE 'Personality Success Keys Guide'. Please take a moment to visit our website: http://PersonalitySuccessBlueprint.com