Muscle Memory – You, Confident Speaker

Muscle Memory for speakers ...

One of the best ways to learn public speaking is by doing.  I know how challenging that can be - to find and face an audience before you are really ready, learning "on the fly" so to speak.

 

When you present you need to be attending to what you are saying and how the content needs to develop, you are attending to your audience and how they are responding so that you can adjust to their needs, and you need to attend to your confident, connected presence.

 

So this package gives you ways you can prepare at home, beforehand, without having to face an audience until you have embedded your confidence and presentation into muscle memory.  

It's not just elite sportsmen and women who prepare for success this way. They practice.  They practice alone on the driving range, on the court, in the gym until the moves that will bring them success are automatic.  They don't have to create the golf swing or the dunk-shot or the somersault.  It comes naturally.  The same can be said about public speaking.  It is possible to develop the "muscle memory" for confidence, connection and fluency on your own or in front of your friends and family before you ever hit the stage.  

 

You, confident speaker gives you a set of practices that will take care of that last - maintaining the confident presence by establishing the muscle memory for it so that you can present with all of your attention on your content and your audience.

 

As you can see, this is an excerpt from my webinar, "You, Confident Speaker" - a section on how to build the muscle memory for confidence. There are five plus powerful practices that you can use to embed confidence by practising it at home and just before you begin.

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[Pivotal Public Speaking] Smile for confidence and connection

Pivotal Public Speaking - Smile for confidence and connection

 

When it is your turn to speak, smile.

This sends endorphins through your body

… and a feeling of confidence to the audience who can see you

… and to your body.

Send confidence in you to the audience

- & to your body.

 

 

And instantaneously and easily begin the process of connection.

 

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[Pivotal Public Speaking] Prepare for confident, effective speaking – Own the Stage

 

Pivotal Public Speaking Own the Stage

 

 

You own the stage.

It doesn’t own you.

The audience doesn’t own it, the venue host doesn’t own it, the functions coordinator doesn’t own it.  You own it.

For the minutes (or hours) in which you are presenting, the stage is yours – or the section of floor or the table or the truck – whatever it is you are using to present your message.

So no-one can dictate (within limits) where you stand or how you use that space you are given.  

Own it.

Before you present, if you can, walk the stage – walk right around it and into its corners and into its centre.  Own it.

If you can, before you present, stand with your arms stretched wide in the place you intend to use.

Strut if you need to, dance if you need to, but build the confidence to own the stage.

You can do all of this in your head if you cannot do it physically. 

Be different, be crazy, be powerful within the space.

Pivotal Public Speaking Confidence on stage

And when you return, to give your presentation,

to inspire, connect and motivate,

take that memory that you have embedded with you.

What does it feel like to own the stage?

You know because you embedded it earlier.

Do it again      -      

powerful memory, powerful confidence!

 

 

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[Quick public speaking tip] 3 Ways you need to use listening if you are speaking to persuade

It's not just speaking ... when we speak to persuade.

Successful persuasion also lies in the ability to actively listen, even, and especially, in the field of public speaking.

 

listening_persuade

 

Successful speaking to persuade relies on knowing your audience.

What are their needs and wants?

How are they thinking about your proposal?

What are they likely to favour about it?

What is going to stand in the way of them being persuaded?

What are their doubts?

What are their objections?

What are the obstacles to them moving forward with your suggestions?

Listen to them - before the presentation - survey them, talk to them, ask the event organiser about them - and listen.

Listen to them - during the presentation - ask them questions - and listen.

Successful speaking to persuade relies on seeing moments where you can gain agreement - maybe a comment or question from your audience, a situation from which you can draw an analogy, maybe a report back from a group discussion.

Listen for those and keep a line of thinking open that will allow you to use those moments to really amp up the energy of your speaking response.

Successful speaking to persuade relies on your being adaptable. It's one of the lessons I teach in my workshops and seminars on PowerPoint. Be prepared to change the course or direction of your presentation. If it seems that your audience puts value on one point or discussion over another, or if the feedback, comments or discussion suggests that a different direction would work best, then be prepared to change the structure of the presentation that you had prepared in advance.

This means that not only is your structure working for you. It also means that you are building trust. You care enough about your audience to change direction for them and you are confident enough in your material and your beliefs to change direction for them.

Listen, then, to their comments, to their suggestions and the tone of their discussions.

So I have covered three areas of listening that will build the success of your persuasive speaking - knowing your audience, watching for opportunities to ramp up the energy and being adaptable.

Do you use any other listening techniques to successfully persuade?

 

 

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Quick Public Speaking tip – Gestures, naturally

gestures

Natural gestures are basically the aim for any public speaker.

We watch an excellent speaker, and maybe we notice their gestures.

I said "maybe" because if he or she is an excellent speaker, we should not be noticing their gestures.   We should be taking in the whole package as a message,

without noticing how it is done.

A major measure of excellence in any sort of craft, of course, is not noticing how it was done, unless we deliberately look or search..

If you suspect that are not a natural gesturer, ask yourself

"Is this a cause for concern?"

What does it mean to be "not a natural gesturer"?

Probably this is a person who is self-contained and does not need to gesture to keep their brain functioning or the speech flowing.

Not a person of flamboyance.

Why does it matter?

Get a second opinion, and a third and a fourth if necessary.

It may be that you are communicating successfully without many gestures.

If the feedback says that you need to improve -

and the reason given is that your presentation feels wrong, or rigid or unnatural

(NOT for the reason that it doesn't fit a set of rules that someone feels should be followed for no other reason than that they are rules),

then you can work on them.

The first step to take is to learn to stand with your arms wide open.

Get comfortable doing that.

Feel grounded doing that.

Feel yourself expand out to the audience doing that, while remaining grounded and in your own space.

Once you have established that feeling, it may be a simple progression to loosen up and become expansive with gestures,

flowing along with the emotion and flow of your speech.

If not, then you can learn to gesture - there are any number of general styles and specific movements that I have shared with clients over the years, but those who needed them were quite few.

Find the gesture,

then practise it, and practise it, and practise it until it becomes natural and flows with the language it supports.  If it is not natural or flowing, keep practising until it is does, because otherwise it will look incongruous and you may as well have not gestured at all.

I remember my days of representing my high school in competition speaking and being coached to put my finger on my nose when talking about people putting on sunscreen.

For days it felt weird, contrived, uncomfortable.

Eventually, though, with days and days of practice and a supportive teacher-coach, it became natural and I could produce it naturally.

It felt good.

It felt right.

It felt appropriate.

And furthermore, having relaxed through that performance, gradually, I learned to relax into natural gestures.

That was a child, nervous, aware of a very critical judgement as she spoke, and aware, too, of the people who had put in so much effort so she could win for them and the school.

With adult clients, I find those who need some guidance to "loosen up", generally do so quite naturally as they learn to believe in themselves and their message, along with the practice of standing with open body language and relaxing.

If you speak with passion - for your subject and for your audience's outcomes - your body will support your message.

Even if you make no gestures, your stance, your facial expressions and your eye contact, will work powerfully to support that passion and your message.

 

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