Pivotal Fun. Earth Day jokes
'I have an obsession with wind farms.'
'Really?'
'Yes. I'm a huge fan.'
___
There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.
___
Q: Did you hear the one about the aluminium recycling plant?
A: It smelt!
___
In honor of Earth day, I'm sending all of my work-related emails to my "recycle" folder.
___
Q: What did one tree say to the other?
A: Are you a Sap!
___
Obviously you can't confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.
___
Q: What is the difference between a person and a tree?
A: One is illegal to hit with an ax!
___
We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors we borrow it from our children.
___
Q: What can the climate do that weather can't do with a tree?
A: Climb it.
___
An environmentalist dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, 'Ah, you're an environmentalist - you're in the wrong place.' Thinking that heaven could never make an error, the environmentalist reports to the gates of hell and is let in.
Pretty soon, the environmentalist gets dissatisfied with the environment in hell, and starts implementing eco-friendly improvements. After a while, global warming, air and water pollution are under control. The landscape is covered with grass and plants, the food is organic and the people are happy. The environmentalist has become a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, 'So, how's it going down there in hell?'
Satan replies, 'Hey, things are going great. We've clean air and water, the temperature is better and the food tastes better, and there's no telling what this environmentalist is going to fix next.'
God replies, 'What? You've got an environmentalist? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there, send him up here.'
Satan says, 'No way. I like having an environmentalist on the staff, and I'm keeping him.'
God says, 'Send him back up here or I'll sue.'
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, 'Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?'
___
Why are Eco warriors bad at playing cards?
They like to avoid the flush.
___
Q: What's the name of the new Tom Cruise eco-thriller?
A: Mission Compostable!
___
The Reverend Martyn Hind, parish priest, is to offer 'eco-sinners' the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first 'green' confessional booth.
___
Q: Why does a Time Magazine survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?
A: The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!
___
17 trees are saved by every ton of existing paper that is recycled. That means if we pulped every Harry Potter book we wouldn't be able to see the sky for foliage.
___
A woman called her husband during the day and asked him to pick up some organic vegetables for that night’s dinner on his way home.
The husband arrived at the store and began to search all over for organic vegetables before finally asking the produce guy where they were. The produce guy didn’t know what he was talking about, so the husband said: “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?”
To which the produce guy replied, “No, sir, you will have to do that yourself.”
___
Q: How do you know your a bad recycler?
A: You give the recycle bins to your kids to use as toboggans.
___
Greenhouse effect is an anagram of:
'Huge trees offence'
___
