Guest post by Janet Hilts
Is your fear of speaking really a fear of rejection? That's at the bottom of public speaking anxiety for a lot of people. The way to deal with this fear is to first take a closer look. What are you afraid might be rejected? Your words?
Rejection Of Your Words
Here are a few facts to consider:
Fact A: Your words only count for 7% of the actual message that you deliver. 7%! Can you believe it? The biggest part of your message is conveyed through your body language, facial expression and tone of voice. So that seriously takes the pressure off your words, doesn't it? When you're speaking - whether that's to a client or a big audience - your intention is to connect with them, isn't it? That's what communication is all about. And people connect at the heart. That's where those nonverbal elements come into play. They're watching your eyes. They're looking to see if you're paying attention to them. They want the feeling that you care about them and their problem.
Fact B: They want to feel positive emotions from hearing you - relief, hope, peace of mind. That experience does not come from your words. We've all heard words that sound empty, where the emotion doesn't match the actual words. Picture an eye-rolling teenager saying "I'm sorry" to a scolding teacher. The words aren't conveying their real meaning, are they? See how this reduces the pressure for you to get your words perfect? If your fear of rejection is about words, I hope your fear is shrinking.
On the positive side of things, think of the people you enjoy doing business with. They're just regular people, right? Just like you.
Now think of their speaking styles. Do they all have perfect grammar? Are they all fabulous speech writers and award-winning orators? Is their language completely clear of "uh" and "y'know"? Of course not!
And yours doesn't have to be either. For now, stop worrying about your words and focus on relaxing so your voice, face and body can react naturally. That's what helps you connect to people so you can really get your message across.
Bonus:
Once you get some practice speaking naturally, you'll find it much easier to work with improving your actual words if you want to. It's ironic that once you let go of the fear about the words, your options for words open up. Your creative ability and willingness to experiment with new phrases totally expands once your speaking anxiety is gone.
And to get a head start with feeling calm when you speak, I invite you to get your FREE copy of 5 Simple Secrets To Stress-Free Speaking when you go to http://SpeakUpAndShine.com.
Just fill in the sign-up box on the right-hand side of the page.
From Janet Hilts at Speak Up & Shine | Clearing Pathways
Brands are dynamic. Customers use our products and services. They like or dislike their experience and they say so, publicly. This type of customer engagement directly impacts your brand. In this way, your brand is being created with or without you. You can't control it. What you can control is how you deal with it.
You've probably heard the saying "feedback is a gift". It's also a gift that you can't return or exchange if you don't like it. It's yours to deal with whether you like it or not. Since most brands have some sort of an online presence today, customers have a very public option when providing feedback. They can leave their comments on your 1-800 customer feedback line or send their concerns to some anonymous email. More likely, however, they will post their issues to a website, blog or user group.
When customers provide this type of public, direct feedback, we basically have two options:
1. Engage - and hopefully influence the nature of the discussion
2. Remain passive - and let the discussion continue without us
I encourage companies to engage in the discussion. That's the point of the internet, social media and online communities. We have the capability to have these discussions in real time with many more customers than we could have ever have done in the past.
Yet, there are hundreds of examples where companies have had negative comments appear online about their products and they chose not to engage, or even acknowledge, the feedback.
In most cases this sort of "head in the sand" approach doesn't work out very well for the companies involved. They appear aloof, disconnected and uncaring. Customers post comments on corporate blogs and social media sites, and the damage is done. Companies then spend a ton of money and time trying to "manage their online reputation" - which usually means feeding good content into these sites in order to push the negative stuff off the first few pages of search results.
While this may work in some cases, it seems to be that it is a lot more effective, not to mention efficient, to just engage in the conversation to begin with! Here are some ideas to help you proactively manage your brand online:
Pay attention: create Google alerts for your company name, brand names, etc. Monitor where you brand is being mentioned and in what context. It's next to impossible to influence how the brand is being represented if you don't know where you're being mentioned.
Be active: identify the key places where your brand is being mentioned and get involved. Participate in discussions relevant to your brand but not where you are directly mentioned. You will get insights into the tone of the conversations and understand more how to position your brand appropriately.
Acknowledge feedback: when someone posts something negative, acknowledge their issue. Let them know you heard what they were saying. Explain your response, but don't try and justify your position, as you will only serve to annoy them further.
ABOUT LAURA LOWELL: Laura has been building brands and businesses for over 20 years. She writes about marketing and branding in her blog "The Rules...According to You" and has been featured on Oprah & Friends, ABC, The Huffington Post, and more. As the President of Impact Marketing Group, she helps entrepreneurs and small businesses build their brands and businesses with consulting, tools and training. Learn more at http://lauralowell.com
Laura and her family spent time living in Malaga, Spain. They returned to their home in Los Gatos, CA in the summer of 2010.
"You are a product of your environment, so choose the
environment that will best develop you toward your
objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment.
Are the things around you helping you toward success ? Or
are they holding you back?"
-- W. Clement Stone
…………………………………………………………………………………………………
How would YOU like a RISK-FREE LIFE MAKEOVER?
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We all have things in our lives that we want to change. Our relationships. Our finances. Our energy levels. Our stress. Our weight. Our self-esteem. Our fears.
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I love the evenings, passionless and fair, I love the evens,
Whether old manor-fronts their ray with golden fulgence leavens,
In numerous leafage bosomed close;
Whether the mist in reefs of fire extend its reaches sheer,
Or a hundred sunbeams splinter in an azure atmosphere
On cloudy archipelagos.
Oh, gaze ye on the firmament! a hundred clouds in motion,
Up-piled in the immense sublime beneath the winds' commotion,
Their unimagined shapes accord:
Under their waves at intervals flame a pale levin through,
As if some giant of the air amid the vapors drew
A sudden elemental sword.
The sun at bay with splendid thrusts still keeps the sullen fold;
And momently at distance sets, as a cupola of gold,
The thatched roof of a cot a-glance;
Or on the blurred horizon joins his battle with the haze;
Or pools the blooming fields about with inter-isolate blaze,
Great moveless meres of radiance.
Then mark you how there hangs athwart the firmament's swept track,
Yonder a mighty crocodile with vast irradiant back,
A triple row of pointed teeth?
Under its burnished belly slips a ray of eventide,
The flickerings of a hundred glowing clouds in tenebrous side
With scales of golden mail ensheathe.
Then mounts a palace, then the air vibrates--the vision flees.
Confounded to its base, the fearful cloudy edifice
Ruins immense in mounded wrack;
Afar the fragments strew the sky, and each envermeiled cone
Hangeth, peak downward, overhead, like mountains overthrown
When the earthquake heaves its hugy back.
These vapors, with their leaden, golden, iron, bronzèd glows,
Where the hurricane, the waterspout, thunder, and hell repose,
Muttering hoarse dreams of destined harms,-
'Tis God who hangs their multitude amid the skiey deep,
As a warrior that suspendeth from the roof-tree of his keep
His dreadful and resounding arms!
All vanishes! The Sun, from topmost heaven precipitated,
Like a globe of iron which is tossed back fiery red
Into the furnace stirred to fume,
Shocking the cloudy surges, plashed from its impetuous ire,
Even to the zenith spattereth in a flecking scud of fire
The vaporous and inflamèd spaume.
O contemplate the heavens! Whenas the vein-drawn day dies pale,
In every season, every place, gaze through their every veil?
With love that has not speech for need!
Beneath their solemn beauty is a mystery infinite:
If winter hue them like a pall, or if the summer night
Fantasy them starre brede.
Persuasiveness is one of the most important skills anyone can learn because it is useful in countless situations. At work, at home, and in your social life, the ability to be persuasive and influence others can be instrumental for achieving goals and being happy.
Learning about the tricks of persuasion can also give you insight into when they're being used on you. The biggest benefit of this is that money will stay in your pockets as you realize just how sales people and advertisers sell you products that you don't necessarily need.
Here are 9 of the best tricks to be persuasive and influence others:
"The soul requires duration of time -- rich, thick, deep, velvety time -- and it thrives on rhythm. Soul can’t be hurried or harried .... We may go through many events in the day and experience nothing because the soul has not had the opportunity to feel them from many different points of view."
-- Robert Sardello
with Warren Evans, CSP and Kit Grant, CSP
You’re most likely leaving money on the table in most of your engagements. By building in non-standard services, you can increase each client’s bill significantly, while adding tremendous value. Discover additional revenue sources from each engagement and expand your possibilities with tools and tips that positively impact your relationship with the client. Differentiate yourself in the marketplace by altering your perceptions of that relationship and taking action on steps that others may not be aware of.
You will learn:
• how successful speakers add value and revenue from the first conversation
• some common missteps that are costing you money
• keys to dramatically increasing repeat and referral business
• how to use your on-stage performance as a key marketing tool
Click here for all the details ...
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Special Limited-Time Offer:
If you want more information on other ways to expand your business, we’re suggesting the MP3 recordings of several earlier programs to complement this program:
• “Establish Client MasterMind Groups for Ongoing, Significant Income and Results” with Steve Miller
• “Subscription Products: Getting Customers to Pay You Again and Again (and Again)” with Ron Rosenberg
With your order of this teleseminar, CD or MP3, at checkout you will be offered these recordings.
February is Black History Month — the perfect time to read these new children's books about civil-rights activists as well as the winners of this year's Coretta Scott King Awards:
Sunset Video with Yoga Music & Wisdom Quotes from Lao Tzu and Rumi.
