By Denise Allen
The other day, I had the good fortune to connect with a dear friend that I had not spoken with in a while. I always feel so good when I spend time with my friends. I am convinced that our best moments in life are spent in the company of people that we love.
We chatted lightly for a while about many. Before we got off the phone, my friend shared with me some distress she was feeling about an area of her life that just wasn't working out the way she wanted. She felt "absolutely disgusted" with her health. The sound of her voice communicated just how frustrated she had become toward her years-long effort to lose weight. I had been there with her through several failed diet attempts, so I knew first-hand the personal dissatisfaction she felt. One more time her personal effort failed to yield a desirable result. Getting a handle on this area of her life seemed to fall just beyond her grasp. As she relayed her unhappiness, the sense of despair oozed from her voice.
I felt compassion for her. I wished that I could do something to make this challenge go away. What I would not give to be Elizabeth Montgomery from "Bewitched" at that moment?! With a twitch of my nose, I could make any problem go away. (Okay, I'm telling my age...how about Alyssa Milano from "Charmed?")
Anyway, I encouraged her to stay persistent. "Don't give up," I told her. "Your past disappointments are no predictor of your future successes." But, I knew she wanted solutions. Positive words only reminded her that her personal goal had not yet been attained. Eventually, we ended the conversation. I am not sure I said anything that made a difference, but I remained cheerful and upbeat.
Later that night, I thought about my friend. I know that level of exasperation. I have faced recurrent challenges in my own life where no solution seemed forthcoming. Have you felt this kind of disappointment? Have you ever worked at a stubborn problem for so long that a breakthrough seemed highly unlikely? You hoped for a change but nothing you have tried so far has worked and you have become discouraged.
Maybe you are a smoker, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot quit. Sometimes you are better at controlling it, but you are never completely free. Or, perhaps you compulsively overspend, and no matter how you budget your money, you always end the month with little or no savings. From time to time, you manage to have extra cash on hand but, in general, you live paycheck to paycheck.
What persistent challenge have you been facing but been unable to master?
The truth is that we all have an aspect of our lives that we want to change but have been unable to permanently change. When we think about this aspect and our frustrated efforts to improve it, we may question ourselves: "What is wrong with me?" "Why can't I get this right?!" We may even berate ourselves. "You idiot! Why can't you just straighten up and fly right?!" "I do so many other things well. Why does this problem persist?! It just does not make sense!"
Some of my more persistent challenges that I have been unable to permanently eliminate make me feel this way. For example, since high school, I have struggled with being late to events, meetings, etc. And, it really burns me that I cannot seem to drop this habit of lateness. One would think that I would "get over" this bad habit after suffering through some very embarrassing moments caused by my chronic tardiness. Not so.
It does not help that I firmly believe that we create our own experiences. So, now I am doubly disappointed. I am often late. I want to stop being late but I cannot seem to drop this habit and I am the reason that it persists. My Grandma Ellie used to say, "If that don't beat all?!" With my close friends that know my issue with being late, I will often jokingly ask them, "Excuse me, but can you push me out of my own way?"
When I thought about my conversation with my friend, I recalled how "absolutely disgusted" I have felt when I have shown up late to an important event or meeting. But, I am the thinker that thinks the thought that creates the thing, right? So, who was this woman who thought always being late would be fun? What was going on in her head?
And, then it hit me: The life I am experiencing right now was built thought by thought and word by word by the me of yesterday. And, the life I experience tomorrow will be designed by the me of today.
Breathe!
Right now, in the midst of fussing at and beating myself up about always being late, I am designing my tomorrow. Ugh!!! Could someone please push me out of my own way?! For real this time!
The more I thought about my conversation, the more I realized that I had to develop a different attitude toward this woman who could not seem to stop being late. I mean, for crying out loud, she is the General Contractor in charge of my future. If I mistreat her, it will probably impact her design in some way...and probably not a good way. Wow! I have to be pleasant to this person who embarrasses me by routinely showing up late for important events and affairs.
In the end
I concluded that I have to let it go. So, I do not get everywhere on time. Okay. We spend so much time criticizing ourselves for our mistakes. Let it go. Be gentle with yourself. If you were raising a child who was just learning to walk, how effective do you think it would be to berate the child for falling down? It probably would not get you the result you want and you would probably slow the child's progress because of all the criticism.
We work the same way. We do not get better when we berate or heap loads of mean-spirited criticism upon ourselves. Just like the child learning to walk, our progress slows. For some of us, we create such a hypercritical environment that our progress grinds to a complete halt.
You actually move faster and better when you speak loving, kind words to yourself. Be very complimentary to the you of today. Think of the baby learning to walk for the first time. Whenever the baby takes one step, everyone around it praises it for that one step.
Apply the praise each step concept to the you of today. For every victory, give yourself a hi-five. Better yet, indulge in a mini-celebration for it. Then, pat yourself on the back, look in the mirror and say these words: "Good job! You did it!"
If I could change the response that I originally gave my friend when she expressed her deep discontent, I would say, "Be kind to the person you are today; for it is she that speaks the words and thinks the thoughts that build your tomorrow."
Licensed Spiritual Teacher, Writer and Speaker Denise Allen is author/curator of the best-selling book The Money Poems™, an extraordinary set of lyrical instructions that were simply created to put anyone who recites them on a path to financial freedom. Allen writes often about abundance, prosperity and true wealth. Follow Allen's blog (A Poem A Day Brings Money My Way!) at http://themoneypoems.wordpress.com.
There are many Wells of Inspiration available to us at any given time. When I refer to Inspiration, I mean the state of mind that can lead to great art, and also to that feeling that makes one want to commit to living their life as a work of Art. Not only a means to an ends but a goal unto itself- to live an Inspired Life! To support that noble goal I have gathered together this list of 15 places that you may go when you could use a dip in the Well.
If you've taken a yoga class you might have been asked to "stay present." What on earth does that mean, you wonder. If you're here, aren't you "present"?
Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, in his now-classic, bestselling book, The Power of Now, attempts to break it down for us. He suggests that being fully present, or living with joy, means to be absorbed in this very moment - without thoughts rattling around in our heads. Tolle says we exist in our purest state beneath the frantic chatter of the conscious, ego-driven mind.
If you've ever been in an emergency where you felt supercharged, and responded instantly with a startling clarity of action - you've entered the state that Tolle believes is our natural mode of being. But how do you stop the chatter in your head that blocks this pure state of mind? With so much to do and think about all the time, we need to learn to quiet the compulsive thinking of the mind.
Below are three simple steps to help you get in touch with your natural state of mind - without the chatter. In other words, it's how you tap into The Power of Now.
The Sandwich Swap [Hardcover] Newest Printing
by Queen Rania of Jordan al Abdullah and Kellie DiPucchio
Lily and Salma are best friends. They play together and stick together through thick and thin. But who would have ever thought that ordinary peanut butter or plain old hummus could come between them? Lily and Salma don’t quite understand each other’s tastes, but does that mean they can't be friends? They understand far better than a lot of gown ups that these things hardly matter and that friendship is the most important thing of all.
Her Majesty,Queen Rania’s children’s book is inspired by her own experience. As written by Kelly Dipuchio, it is a warm-hearted and gently humorous fable about two girls who become aware of their subtle cultural differences, only to have their friendship strengthened as a result. Her Majesty travels the world promoting children’s causes as well as cross-cultural understanding and tolerance
Amazon is selling the book for $9.49 reduced from $16.99
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”
- HelenKeller
Earlier this year my husband Denis and I went out for a lovely dinner at a nearby restaurant. While we were dining, an inspired idea popped into my head. I tend to pay attention to inspired ideas as they come up and I decided to share this one with Denis.
I said "Honey, I'm thinking of selling the house I bought in Florida, what do you think?"
Well, knowing the real estate market was declining and sales were infrequent, he thought I had temporarily lost my mind. I continued to share with him some reasoning behind the inspired idea.
The house in Florida was one that we rarely used. The insurance company wouldn't insure the contents because we did not reside in the home. It can be a challenge taking care of a place when we live 1,600 miles away.
Denis agreed with all of those points. Plus, even though I bought the house and owned it outright, the monthly expenses were an unnecessary expense. We were not using the house as a rental property, nor did I want to. We simply had the home available in the event we decided to take a trip to a warmer climate.
Initially when I bought the house I thought we would be using the house more, but with my busy travel schedule, speaking engagements, conferences, etc. we rarely stayed in the home.
Later that evening, after returning home from the restaurant I called a Real Estate Agent in Florida. I asked, "Steve, how is the real estate market down there?"
He replied "Don't you get the news up there Peggy? It's terrible!"
"Well Steve, I'd like to sell my house. Are you interested in listing it for me?"
He responded: "How much are you thinking of selling it for?"
I gave Steve the price I had in mind and he said the house would be the most expensive house on the street. I wasn't really concerned with having a premium-listing price because the house was a unique home and it was beautifully decorated.
Steve was willing to list the house. He drafted up the appropriate papers and sent them to me via email. I signed the papers, sent them back, and a "For Sale" sign went on the lawn.
Because I teach and practice the law of attraction and believe it is far more effective to relax our way to wealth or relax our way to anything that we desire, I relaxed and gave thanks for the quick sale of my home.
In my gratitude journal I expressed my elation with the quick sale of the home and for a closing price that was very close to my listing price. I was also grateful for the quick closing that the new owner requested.
Every day I wrote in my gratitude journal expressing my gratitude for the sale. I also listened to my own relaxation audio meditation every evening, which allowed me to stay connected to the powerful emotions of gratitude, joy and faith.
Two weeks later my Real Estate Agent called me with the news that we had an interested buyer. He said: "There is only one problem Peggy - she wants a fast close - she wants to take possession in three weeks, are you okay with that?"
Well, of course I was fine with a quick close. A quick close date was precisely what I gave thanks for. Additionally, she paid close to the listing price for the house, and within three weeks, my husband and I were on a flight to pick up a check for the sale of the house.
As much as we hear about the powerful laws of attraction, not everyone practices them. One of the challenges is that we are conditioned emotional beings. If our previous conditioning is to stress over things, we will literally push away the very things we desire by being stressed. Switching to a state of relaxation opens up our creativity, engages the law of attraction and draws to us that which you desire (ideas, people, events, experiences).
It may seem like a backward way of thinking to relax when you deeply want something, but relaxing our way to wealth is a powerful concept.
After I took action and listed the home, I gave thanks every day for the sale of the home and stayed connected to positive emotions. I relaxed and every morning and evening used my own relaxation guided meditation. It is an absolute truth that positive emotions will produce positive results.
Deepak Chopra said: "Relaxation is the prerequisite for that inner expansion that allows a person to express the source of inspiration and joy within."
If there is something you desire, follow these 3 simple steps. #1. Decide what you want. #2. Decide what it will "feel" like when you have it (which involves the emotions of faith and relaxation); and #3. Go straight to feeling those emotions - and practice them on a consistent basis. And, when you do, you'll be amazed at the power of your own creative ability.
Peggy McColl
Peggy is a New York Times Best Selling Author, Consultant and Speaker. She has created many programs based on Wealth Creation. Her latest program can be found at: http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=3421506
Is fear of public speaking holding you back? Are you paralysed by fear when you have to speak in public?
Do you need to make presentations at work but avoid them because of nerves?
This is not the way to success. Speeches and presentations need to be confidently presented.
These are the typical symptoms that nerves can produce ...
Jelly legs
Dry mouth
Sweaty palms
Fear of forgetting or losing your place
Fear of not impressing the audience, or losing them altogether
Shakes
are these yours ? ? ? ? ?
Learn to overcome these symptoms, and overcome the fear of public speaking =>http://bit.ly/alGMck
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
-- Mother Teresa
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Choose Success
Learn to actually use the untapped power of your mind to get more of what you wantEinstein claimed that he used only 10% of his mind, and the general public uses only about 3% or 4%. And that's what the Silva Method is all about: learning to use more of your mind.
Enjoy vibrant good health, build fulfilling relationships, achieve prosperity and abundance, and succeed in your life's missionhttp://www.pivotalpersonalbest.com/thought_silvachoose.htm
Charlotte's Web
E. B. White , Garth Williams
An affectionate, sometimes bashful pig named Wilbur befriends a spider named Charlotte, who lives in the rafters above his pen. A prancing, playful bloke, Wilbur is devastated when he learns of the destiny that befalls all those of porcine persuasion. Determined to save her friend, Charlotte spins a web that reads "Some Pig," convincing the farmer and surrounding community that Wilbur is no ordinary animal and should be saved. In this story of friendship, hardship, and the passing on into time, E.B. White reminds us to open our eyes to the wonder and miracle often found in the simplest of things.
Amazon is selling "Charlotte's Web" for $7.99
