Whether you're new to positive parenting or a seasoned veteran, the issue of consequences can get your head spinning. Logical versus natural versus imposed. Then there are positive and negative consequences. What is the difference between them all?
I'm going to attempt to simplify this whole consequence dilemma by giving you one secret tool.
Throw the word "consequence" entirely out of your vocabulary and replace it with the term "problem-solving."
=> http://bit.ly/a3trhH
I recently received an email that prompted me to answer a poll about what I feared most. I didn't reply to the email because my biggest fear at that moment was the fear of receiving more unsolicited email. However, I did start thinking about the subject of fear. What are we afraid of? What is fear? What can we do about it?
A Powerful Emotion
Fear is an emotion and the symptoms of this emotion manifest in each of us in various ways. Some of the symptoms of fear are shallow breathing, sweaty palms, upset stomach, nervousness, headache, inability to speak, inability to think clearly, depression, uncontrollable shaking, inability to moved, and anger. People literally lose their lives and have been known to take someone else's life out of fear. All of the "isms" are the children of fear -- racism, chauvinism, classism, sexism. Wars and crime thrive on fear.
Fear is an emotion and the symptoms of this emotion manifest in each of us in various ways. Some of the symptoms of fear are shallow breathing, sweaty palms, upset stomach, nervousness, headache, inability to speak, inability to think clearly, depression, uncontrollable shaking, inability to moved, and anger. People literally lose their lives and have been known to take someone else's life out of fear. All of the "isms" are the children of fear -- racism, chauvinism, classism, sexism. Wars and crime thrive on fear.
Fear takes away our creativity, imagination, freedom and peace. Fear stops us from pursuing our dreams. Fear destroys relationships and can make us physically ill.
These four letters, F E A R, represent the most powerful negative emotion that exists.
And just think, we have all this unhappiness and suffering over something that does not even exist except for the meaning or perception that we give to a person, place, thing or event. Our fears only live because each of us gives our own fears life. The fears we have exist because we nurture them, feed them, and acknowledge them.
Our Past Stories and Imaginations
In other words, our fears are based on our individual perceptions, and our perceptions are based on our individual stories or histories and our imaginations.
How else can we explain the fact that each of us has different fears and fears to different degrees? For instance, there are many people who love dogs. However, there are also people who fear dogs. Some love snakes and have them as pets. Yet, many others are extremely afraid of snakes and become traumatized at the mere sight of them.
Most of the time, we are not even aware of the stories that our fears are based on. Some of us have anxiety attacks and are fearful over a comment that another child made to us when we were small. In other words, we let a child from our past control our life and health today.
Release the Fear
In order to release the fear, we must change our perceptions about a person, event or object. Choose to see it for what it is -- a person, an event or an object. Many of us fear things that have not happened and may never happen. We cannot enjoy our lives today because we are fearful of what the future may hold. We can choose to release ourselves from the hold that our past stories and our imaginations have on us.
If you are totally immobilized by fear of something, you can always seek assistance from techniques such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), or hypnotherapy. I encourage you to explore the options each of these techniques provide. Each of them, using their own methods, de-traumatizes past traumas and identify and integrate conflicting belief systems that keep us from doing things we want to do.
In my experience, these types of procedures can bring about relief from fears quickly. Instead of treating the symptoms, as medications do, these techniques and other similar procedures address the cause of the fear.
A Signal for Change
The positive aspect of fear is that it is a signal for change. If someone were to point a gun at us, in the midst of fear, we would hope that something would change for the better. Hopefully, we would think of some way to change the situation without being harmed. When faced with the fear of the possibility of a child being harmed, parents have found physical strength and mental courage that they did not know was possible.
And so it is with our everyday fears. Let fear be a signal to change or move in a new direction. Move beyond your comfort zone. Perhaps we need more knowledge about the person, place, or thing that is causing us to feel fearful. Most importantly, move toward love. Love yourself. Love everyone and everything. Love is the most powerful emotion. Where there is real love, fear will perish.
We Are More Powerful than Fear
In my opinion, failure to remember who we are in relation to God and this great Universe is the number one cause of fear. Where there is no faith, there is fear. The absence of belief in ourselves and what we are capable of creates doubt and fear.
Yes, there will be tragedies. No, things will not always go as you planned. Yes, there will be people who want to say negative things about you. These people would rather comment on what appear to be your flaws rather than deal with their own. Do not give them your power.
None of us are ordinary human beings. All of us are extraordinary divine beings. Everyone has the power that will not fail, should it be acknowledged and embraced. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this. I say, "Fear, be gone. You have no power here." Just by saying these words, it is as if I turn on a light and I see fear for what it really is -- nothing.
Author: Wambui Bahati has enjoyed entertaining and empowering others for more than 40 years as an actress, author, speaker and 'holistic mental health' and 'empowerment over domestic violence' advocate. She is a life coach who incorporates EFT. visit: Wambui Bahati - Inspirational and Motivational Speaker and Author
I recently attended a terrific, high-powered panel presentation that unfortunately became hijacked by what I’ll call “a Q&A hog.” You’ve probably witnessed a Q&A hog in action at a conference or presentation.
Q&A Hog, defined: an annoying creature that rambles incoherently during the Question and Answer period of a presentation. The hog typically takes up to 5 minutes to ask the presenter a very specific or off-topic question that no one in the audience has any interest in discussing. Q&A hogs usually have some personal agenda or simply love to hear the sound of their own voices.
The panel presentation I witnessed? The Q&A hog actually grabbed the floor mike and took over. It was a bad scene, man.
The hog held the entire audience hostage with non-stop rambling. The panelists and audience members started shuffling and checking their smart phones. The moderator looked wild-eyed around the room, vainly searching for armed gunmen with tranquilizers to shoot the beast down.
Boors don’t pick up on obvious visual cues of disinterest. It’s not in their nature. They’re going to keep talking — until you shut them down. Mere body language and facial gestures won’t do the trick.
"If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember this whole thing was started by a mouse."
-- Walt Disney
Any man who makes a speech more than six times a year is bound to repeat himself, not because he has little to say, but because he wants applause and the old stuff gets it - William Feather
"What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening, hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live -- with your self-respect alive and growing."
-- Maxwell Maltz
The Dream of the Thylacine
Margaret Wild and Ron Brooks
This arresting and beautiful picture book from Margaret Wild and Ron Brooks is a shimmering encounter with the Tasmanian tiger, a lament for a lost species, and a compelling evocation of the place of animals in Nature.
For more about the book plus acess Curriculum notes => http://bit.ly/mxTf4p
The Dream of the Thylacine
Margaret Wild and Ron Brooks
This arresting and beautiful picture book from Margaret Wild and Ron Brooks is a shimmering encounter with the Tasmanian tiger, a lament for a lost species, and a compelling evocation of the place of animals in Nature.
For more about the book plus acess Curriculum notes => http://bit.ly/mxTf4p
[From the Teaching Generation Now newsletter]
Scrumblr is a free online tool that allows you to create a virtual whiteboard. This whiteboard can be accessed from multiple computers and used as a collaborative space for education.
We like scrumblr because:
? it is free and extremely easy to use.
? no sign up is needed to create and collaborate on a scrumblr board
? only people with the URL link that you create can access the scrumblr.
? it has no ads.
? it provides the opportunity for students to be active in their learning, reflect, clarify, stay focussed and learn from one another.
? it lets participants be anonymous.
=> http://bit.ly/kgDO1R
