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Good thinking

If you watched the swimming events at the [Olympics], you probably observed the incredible focus the medalists demonstrated. Sure, they're strong and fast. But when hundredths— maybe even thousandths—of a second are all that separate the winners from the losers, it's obvious that something besides strength and speed is at work.

A comment by Flip Darr, a former collegiate swimming coach who played a part in training eight Olympic medalists, sheds some light on what that critical ingredient might be. "I felt in my coaching career that if I would work on [the swimmers'] head[s], their bodies would come along," he said. "A lot of coaches work on their bodies and then at the last moment try to do their heads. The thing is, if they are working with their heads all the time, and working with their head over the body, mind over matter, they will have more confidence when they walk up to the block."

What a great illustration of the value of good thinking. Athletic ability is important, but preparing for the biggest race of one's life is as much mental as it is physical—if not more so. As Bill MacCartney, the former head football coach at the University of Colorado, once told me, "Mental is to physical what four is to one."

That's a powerful argument in the case for good thinking—on the football field, as well as in your office at work. The specific thoughts that increase your effectiveness as a leader might not be the same as those required for an Olympic medal, but the overall commitment to thinking is identical.

As we continue the discussion about thinking that we began in the last issue of Leadership Wired, here are five statements that further underscore the importance of solid contemplation.

1. Everything begins with a thought. Every great invention, every technique, every conversation, every leadership practice and every bit of personal growth starts in someone's head.

2. What we think determines who we are, and who we are determines what we do. What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish in your life and career? Are your thoughts paving the way for you to achieve those goals, or are they getting in the way?

3. Our thoughts determine our destiny, and our destiny determines our legacy. That's pretty sobering, especially for those of us who have already passed life's halfway point. The good news is that, no matter how old you are, it's not too late for good thinking to influence your legacy in a positive way. This quote by James Allen says it well: "You are today where your thoughts have brought you, and you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."

4. People who go to the top think differently than others. There are many reasons for this, but it's absolutely true. As William Arthur Ward said, "Nothing limits achievement like small thinking, and nothing expands possibilities like unleashed thinking."

5. We can change the way we think. This is a comforting thought, especially in light of the previous statement. One of the best ways to change the way we think is to invest in resources that help us improve our leadership methods, our relationships, our technical competencies, our time-management skills, our ability to handle conflict, and so on. Over the years, I have been helped tremendously by books and tapes that cover such issues. They boost my thoughts and add great value to my life.

Before I close, I want to highlight the positive influence other people can have on our thought processes, and the critical impact we can have on theirs. For example, Flip Darr understood that one of his functions as a coach was to help his athletes develop the mental stamina necessary to win the big races. That's why he spent so much time "working with his swimmers' heads." As leaders, one of our jobs is to help our people learn how to think for themselves so they can perform successfully when we're not around.

At the same time, we also need to spend time with people who help us think better. I love interacting with good thinkers. They energize me. They stimulate my thoughts, challenge my ideas and stretch my mind like nothing else can. That's why I like to say that some of my best thinking has been done by others!
The bottom line is this: When it comes to success in life, the ability to think well isn't just an asset; it's a necessity. And when you make good thinking a priority today, you lay the groundwork for success tomorrow.

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"This article is used by permission from Dr. John C. Maxwell's free monthly e-newsletter 'Leadership Wired' available at www.MaximumImpact.com."

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Steve Ballmer – About PowerPoint …

An Open Letter to Steve Ballmer

Dear Steve,

How are things..? It looks to have been a bumpy few months for you but it all seems to be coming together for you now. Nicely played…

We wanted to drop you a line to firstly commend you, secondly to point out some “opportunities for improvement” and lastly to suggest something a little “out there”. Bear with us…we think you’ll like it.

So firstly, the commendation – PowerPoint 2010 is really very very good.... => http://bit.ly/i9cBRH

The Simple Stuff


I recently drove across Sydney Harbour Bridge on my way to a very important meeting.

I always make a point of being early for meetings, so I can absorb the experience, the surroundings, and the quiet of waiting for the others to show up. This particular morning I was completely spoilt by my surroundings! As I mentioned: first, the Harbour Bridge in all its glory. As I drove across it I marvelled at the fact that it was built at a time when there was about 4 cars in Sydney (or was it 5?), and officially opened in 1932. These days about 160,000 vehicles use the bridge each day. What foresight they had way back in the 1920's when they began such a project!

 There's a lesson in that for us all: Live in today, and for today! But make sure to plan and allow for the future!

As this magical day unfolded, I was then welcomed by the spectacle of Sydney Harbour on a perfect spring day of 25 degrees C. As I was nice and early for my meeting, I went for a walk around Circular Quay which took me to the Sydney Opera House which was showing off its presence just by being there!

 Of course I was spending time in and around one of the most picturesque places in the world, however, we don't have to be in Sydney, London, New York or Dubai City to be able to appreciate what is around us! Regardless of where we are every day - we are surrounded by beauty and splendour - if we care to look for it!

 We are surrounded by nature's gifts: the clouds; animal and bird life; the sun; the moon; the stars.... enjoy them, as they're free gifts.

 Fathers' Day jumped out of our social calendar recently here in Oz: and again, I felt blessed to be able to appreciate the simple, but priceless gifts that are in my life! My daughter hand-made me the best Fathers' Day card that I have ever seen! Wow! She took my favourite photo of her (when she was about 3 or 4); and created the most beautiful Fathers' Day card for me! A Priceless gift indeed!

We then shared a few hours of precious time together; walked around the foreshore of Newcastle Harbour; and marvelled at the beauty of our amazing surroundings!

Some of them will be the gifts of nature which are everywhere (when we choose to look); and some will be designed and built by us! Appreciation of what surrounds us costs absolutely nothing; and soon becomes a good habit to embrace and share with others. Here are a few more gifts that don't cost a cent!


 Eight Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent!

 This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your relationships.

The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, and don't plan your response. Just listen.

 The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

 The Gift of Laughter
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

 The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

 The Gift of a Favour
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. Good deeds are cool.

 The Gift of a Written Note
It can be a simple "Thanks for your help" note, or a longer expression of your appreciation for that person being in your life. A brief handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

 The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

 The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.

 These are eight important ways we can contribute toward whole and healthy relationships. They cost nothing, yet they may well be the most valuable gifts we can ever offer another person.


 Phil Evans
Phil Evans is a Personal Life Coach and Small Business Mentor specializing in Relationship Dynamics. He is a Keynote Speaker on Life Skills and a variety of Business Topics. Find out more at: www.peoplestuff.com.au

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Success

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Everything is made of light; everything is alive. The Great Mystery of life has little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an intellectual process. The intellect is helpful; but our hearts are the wiser part of ourselves.”
-- Mellen-Thomas Benedict


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Success

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let the beautiful stuff out!

"We are all cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is,
knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out."

-Ray Bradbury

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Reading app – Goodnight Moon

Goodnight Moon


65-years ago, Margret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd created one of the all-time best-selling, and arguably best bedtime books of all time. Now this quintessential classic has been beautifully re-imagined as an interactive app designed for your iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch.  =>  http://bit.ly/SVHCm2

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Assuage your troubles

I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage.

--Charles De Secondat


Image: http://bit.ly/WkMruW

How To Be Imperfectly Perfect

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." ~Anna Quindlen, Author.

 

 
Hands up all the perfectionists out there!
Some of us struggle with perfectionism.
I will admit it I am a reformed perfectionist. The core of my perfectionism was around earning approval and acceptance. This relates back to my childhood and going to the same school where my Dad was employed as a teacher.
My perfectionism was a shield that I could hide behind. I could prove that I was good through my results and not because I was getting special treatment from the other teachers. I was the perfect pupil at school. I demonstrated all the right behaviours: polite, good mannered, followed the rules, helped out and was friendly. It was here that I also developed and honed my people pleasing skills.
I was quite the model pupil, lots of 'A' grades on my school reports. My attention focused on protection as I craved praise for my performance and achievement. Perfectionism was quite addictive because I wanted to do everything just right. Looking back I realise that this strive for perfection was a protection mechanism to shield me from the pain of others saying that really I wasn't good enough and for judging me as getting good grades only because my Dad was a teacher. I became focused on what will they think of me? I had to prove to everyone that I was a high achiever.
Of course, this transcended into my adult life, work and relationships.
My perfectionism was not healthy, it was not about self-improvement or striving to be my best. It was about self-protection. This defense mechanism actually held me back by creating a negative belief system around what will they think of me? I created this to maintain my self-worth and avoid judgment, self-blame and shame associated with being the daughter of a teacher at my school.
Research shows that perfectionism hampers success and can create depression, anxiety, addiction and leads to missed opportunities because of being afraid to step out and be anything less than perfect.
Here's the truth.
There is no such thing as perfect.
It's a myth!
From my experience, perfectionism did not lead to results. Instead, it sabotaged my efforts and reduced my self-worth. I got exhausted always trying so hard.
I believe that perfectionism is more about perception. You only have to look at how today's media influences us: How we should look, what we should wear, what we should buy. The influences around us filter through and reinforce our limiting beliefs that we are not perfect enough.
The truth is about having the humility to step back and look at yourself as vulnerable and beautiful and a Work-in-Progress. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and cultivate self-compassion by becoming your own best friend, loving yourself for who you are and begin to embrace your imperfections. Begin with empathy for yourself.

"It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection." ~Brené Brown, Author

Being Imperfectly Perfect is liberating for me every day. Having permission to not have to get it 100 percent right all the time is hugely important for any human being. Most of us would never start anything.




I have learned how to let go of what I perceive other people think of me and today life is much more effortless.
I'm proud to say authentically that I am Imperfectly Perfect. I am doing the best that I can and this is always good enough.
Give yourself permission to acknowledge your vulnerabilities and embrace your imperfections.
Cultivate the courage to be Imperfectly Perfect.
 
Elaine Bailey is founder of Elaine Bailey International Ltd. a company devoted to coaching busy and successful women and men into their best lives. Elaine spans the Atlantic from the UK to the USA in her life and business coaching. She is a sought after motivational speaker, whose topics include "Business or Busy-ness? Four Ways to Get Your Life Back on Purpose. Please visit http://ElaineBaileyInternational.com.