Choice Point - the Movie

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."

-- Alvin Toffler

Not long ago I woke up with a "brown" taste in my mouth and everything started to just go wrong! I remember thinking, "Why is everyone against me!" Then I stopped and thought, "Wait a minute! Not everyone is against me!"

I grabbed a note pad and started writing down the names of everyone that was openly resisting my efforts to just live in peace and joy. Three....That's right - 3 people! Then I thought about how many people were "in favor" of me and supported me in some way. Double digits! Then I thought globally. Most people don't even know I exist and out of the ones that do know me and have some interaction with me they remain involved in their own lives and are basically "neutral" toward me.

Then I started thinking about how out of ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE EARTH only 3 people resisted me and how much time did I spend a day interacting with these three people? On even the worst days I couldn't think of more than a few minutes of actual interaction. So then I thought about ALL THE NEGATIVE ENCOUNTERS that I had in a single day. You know everything from the guy who cuts you off in traffic to the rude comment by someone I don't even know. I was hard pressed on even the WORST day to find more than 5-15 minutes of actual interaction with unpleasant people a day!

This reality hit me with insight! There have been times when my 24 hour day has been ruined by 15 minutes (and in most cases less than 15 minutes) a day of actual interaction with negative people! How could that be possible? I survived the 15 minutes so why did this ruin my entire day? Even when I was "cussed" and "cursed" the words didn't hurt me and the curses never came to pass. Everything that was spoken against me was a threat and did not manifest as a reality! How could something as false and "unreal" as a "threat" ruin my day?

The answer is simple. The threat got into my own thinking and contaminated my mind. People annoyed me for less than 15 minutes and I annoyed myself in my thinking for 23 hours 45 minutes or more a day and I ruined my day! Now I have learned to put my focus on the positives in my life and to be grateful for all that I have!

Life is all about choices. Is the glass half full or half empty? You decide.

Jami Sell

Jami Sell wanted to share this message of positive thoughts to inspire others. Feel free to send Jami an email on your thoughts to today's message at: catseyeview@hotmail.com

“Besides learning to see, there is another art to be learned -- not to see what is not.”
 
-- Maria Mitchell

 

 

The difference in success, or failure, is not how you look, not how you dress and not even how you're educated. It's how you think. One can't overstate the importance of being able to maintain a positive attitude but let's be honest...it's not easy.

That's why there's so much to love about this book, Attitude is Everything...10 Rules for Staying Positive. It breaks down the #1 key to success in a simple, but unforgettable way. The bottom line is that no matter what you do in life, the wisdom in this little book will help you succeed!

Today, we have an excerpt from a chapter titled: "Wait to Worry," which is great advice for everyone we know! Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

Excerpt from Attitude is Everything
by Vicki Hitzges

 

 

The excerpt is only available to PIVOTAL Members.  Log in to access it or join now (membership is free)

 

 


This beautiful little book makes a treasured gift for any occasion

and offers a great reminder to be self-less.

For more information, or to look inside the book, just click here.

 

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd president of the United States.

If you're an American, you've heard this quote before. Probably most people in English-speaking countries have heard it as well. Have you ever really thought about it, though? I mean really took the time to analyze the message, dig some deeper meaning, find the truth in it? Probably not. This quote is absolutely 100% fact. There is nothing to fear.

Fear is a paralyzer to action. Fear is the ultimate demotivator. Fear really is the only thing to be afraid of, because fear is the only thing that keeps us from doing the things we want to do.

You want to go hiking in the mountains, but you're afraid of heights. You want to walk through the woods, but you're afraid of snakes, or spiders. You want to travel the world, but you're afraid to fly. You want to live out your dreams, but you're afraid of going broke (even though you already are). You want to hit on that girl or guy, but you're afraid of rejection. Don't be.

The feeling of achieving the pinnacle of that mountaintop far outweighs the fear you feel when you look down over the world. Nature is more scared of you than you are of it. Planes are statistically safer than cars. Money isn't real. Most people aren't scary. But you're letting your fears outweigh your confidence. Hopefully, once you've finished reading this article, that won't happen any more.

Have you ever watched an illusionist (magician who uses tricks of the eye to perform "magic") perform? Most of us are very inspired, and shocked, by the acts they perform, because what we believe we see them doing is perceived by us to be dangerous and scary. So then why don't the magicians ever appear to be scared? Because they've no reason to be. The things they do could be done by any human being on earth, "magician" or not. Their acts look scary, but in fact have very little danger involved at all. And most things tend to follow this pattern.

The way you perceive the world has more impact on how you live your life than any actual circumstances or situations you find yourself in. If you're getting mugged, with a gun stuck in your face and a hand out waiting for your wallet, what do you do? If you're fearful, you fumble around for your wallet, produce it, and as soon as the mugger turns around, you run your ass off in the other direction.

If the guy really wanted to shoot you, though, wouldn't he have just pulled the trigger and robbed your corpse? Doesn't that seem a little easier? Do you think he WANTS you to put up a fight? No. He wants your money; he just doesn't know how to ask properly. So he threatens you for it. And if you're intimidated, he gets what he wants and learns nothing. But if you ask him, "hey, how come you didn't just shoot me and rob my dead body? What do you need the money for?" you'll probably get an answer. People are nicer than you give them credit for. Even most muggers.

The problem with them is they just never learned what it means to connect with people. They know that killing is wrong, which is why they didn't just shoot you right off the bat, but they don't know how to approach or interact with people without being threatening.

So what do you do with these misguided souls? You talk to them. Find out why they need your money. Are they hungry? Would they like to go get a bite to eat instead of robbing you? Are they homeless? Would they like some help finding a warm bed, instead? Would they like to go to the bar and get a drink? Most people who are criminals aren't crazy (though of course there are some who are); they're just scared. They're scared of starving, scared of freezing to death, scared of alcohol withdrawal. The money in your pocket isn't going to help them, and they know that, but I really think that in most cases, they're not looking for your money. They're looking for someone who will give them a chance, let them prove themselves, help them connect with people and guide them to being a person worth befriending. People have an innate need to be liked and loved. It's been proven time and time again that almost no one WANTS to be hated. "Love and Belonging" is the third of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, right after eating and breathing, and then security. It is a NECESSARY aspect of life for a human being to achieve their true potential, and if you look at that chart, self-confidence comes AFTER love and belonging.

So show these people some love. Take them out to the bar; find out their story. Befriend them. Introduce them to your friends and family; take them under your wing. If you put some faith in them and show your own confidence when you're around them, it will rub off. But if you fear them, they'll fear you, and the rest of humanity as well. Nature is funny that way.

Are you scared of dogs? If so, then you've probably noticed that dogs act funny around you. They're either shy, with their tail between their legs, hiding behind their masters, or they're mean and vicious toward you; it depends on how the owner treats them. How did I know that? Well, I've owned a lot of dogs, and believe it or not, they're a lot more like people than you'd think. Have you ever heard that animals can smell fear? Well, it's partially true, as fear in people can release certain hormones, and most dogs' noses are good enough to smell it. But the real reason it seems that animals "smell" fear is that it's a natural reaction for an animal, or a person, to reciprocate whatever feeling another being is putting off.

If you show fear, people will panic with you. If you show anger, people get angry. If you're depressed, you depress whomever you're hanging out with. If you show kindness and compassion, people show it back. If you show confidence, you can inspire people to be confident.

Obviously, there are those times when people are inconsolable, can't be reasoned with; their emotions have a deathgrip on their mind and they can't be set free. But these times usually last no more than a few hours, maybe a few days at most. Most of the time, your feelings and your personality, depending on its traits, will rub off on the people you socialize with, as theirs will rub off on you. But one trait that never rubs off is lack of confidence.

A lack of confidence is like being a ghost. You can occasionally show people that you exist by flicking a light, or making a barely-audible noise, but for the most part you go unseen and unnoticed. And your problem is NOT that other people think you're unattractive, or think you're boring, or think you're worthless; it's that YOU think those things. Other people are just naturally reciprocating YOUR feelings. Which makes you feel more insecure, which makes them find you more unattractive, which makes you feel more insecure, which makes you more unattractive, and so on and so forth.

I had a rather large girl (not my type, but pretty enough, all the same) hit on me at the bar last night. She asked me to come sit and talk with her, and I agreed; I'll talk to anyone about anything. But once I got over there, she lost all confidence. She stared at her cell phone for 15, 20 minutes at a time, not saying a word. When I would bring up something to talk about, she'd listen, and respond appropriately, but she never brought up any conversation topics of her own. So I talked about my interests; the Fed, how I want to start a revolution, about my ex-fiancee, about judgement, and greed, and zombies. Then I asked what she was passionate about.

She said horses. I asked if she owned one, and she said no, because she didn't have enough land for it. I asked if she had ever worked on a horse farm, and again she said no. And when I asked why, she told me "because who would want ME to work on their horses?" Wow. We live in an area where there are TONS of farms, most with horses, but NOBODY would want to hire this girl? No way. This girl's problem was not that she wouldn't bust her butt to take care of someone's horses, but that she was too afraid to go ask someone if she could. She's so afraid of rejection that she doesn't even want to TRY to follow what she's passionate about. People do this far too often, and it makes me very sad.

Do you love your job? Does it make you happy to walk into the doors of your office every day? A few people are answering yes; but for most of you, the answer is a big, resounding HELL NO. Why? Shouldn't you love what you do for a living? How can you be really good at something you don't like doing? You can force yourself to complete your daily tasks, of course, but then you waste so much energy doing what you DON'T want to do that when you get home you're too tired to focus any energy toward your real interests. Hence, part of the reason the divorce rate is so high now. This is also part of the reason more and more kids are little assholes these days; with a big mouth full of cuss-words, and a serious sense of self-importance.

People are too drained from forcing themselves to slave away for money at a job they don't like to actually do any parenting, or love-making. So why keep doing it? For God's sake, go do something you like so when you get home you can tell your wife and kids all about your day without sounding like a damn half-asleep robot. Do what you're PASSIONATE about. Fear, like money and the federal government, only has as much power over you as you allow it to. If you don't live your life with confidence, then you'll never truly live your life. If you allow the fears of being broke, or being injured, or being rejected to control you, then they will. And if you don't, they won't.

When you get scared of doing something, always ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" You can come up with all kinds of wild-ass theories and hypotheticals, but 99% of the time, none of these things will happen. And 99% of the time, you're overanalyzing, letting your fear be your security blanket, so you don't have to deal with any potential consequences. But you won't fall off the mountaintop; you won't get a deadly spider bite; your plane won't crash; you won't starve or freeze from being broke; and you won't get utterly shut-down by that cute girl/guy at the bar. Because people are better than that. YOU are better than that, smarter than that.

If you really analyze your actions, you will see that fear is always what keeps you from acting. I can't do this because I'm afraid of _______. But there's nothing to fear. "The worst that could happen" almost never comes to pass. And if you're passionate about something, you'll encounter hardships and strife, but when all is said and done, you'll still be doing something you love, and you'll be driven to figure out how to do it again without the hardships. That's the beauty of the human mind.

We can always fix any problems we have, but not if we're too scared to find or face the problems in the first place. Be fearless. Do what you want to do instead of what you're told you should be doing. You can always find 10,000 reasons that something can't work, but it only takes one solution. Be fearless.

Author: Jeremy Blackbird http://forthegreatergoodblog.com

 

Just stop for a moment and think back to those business goals, work targets, KPI's, and personal aspirations (lose weight, get fit, learn something new, etc.) that you set at the beginning of the year. Think about those visions of success, profits and happiness you saw yourself achieving this year.

Are you still on track?
...or have you broken some of those promises?

"Just a moment", I hear your say "I never *promised* that I would achieve them, I just committed to trying my best. I didn't break any promises, I just got caught up in other things"

To me, this is an excuse.
It is a habit of allowing yourself to not stick to your targets because you lose focus when under pressure.

Am I being a little harsh? Perhaps.
Am I being truthful and accurate? Absolutely!

If you want to have success and happiness consistently in your life, then you need to become resilient to pressure by raising your standards.

Let me explain...

Studies have found that your body 'normalizes' stimulants that it is exposed to on a regular basis. Meaning that you become somewhat de-sensitive, or less sensitive, to the frequent noises, smells, images, tastes and sensations of the environment around you.

Two examples:

The smell receptors in the olfactory (smell) system of the body of garbage collectors becomes less sensitive to the smell of garbage after about 6 weeks. The body adapts to the smell by desensitising to the smell of garbage.

Even an hour or two after putting on perfume, cologne or aftershave you become somewhat unaware of the smell. Your body desensitises the frequent stimulants around you.

So what has desensitisation got to do with becoming resilient to pressure and achieving your goals??

If you consistently accept an excuse, cop out, or lower standards of performance from yourself, then your body learns to accept that as OK. After a while, you become desensitised to your excuses and you no longer notice them. That's when they become a habit.

When the pressure builds up, if you have developed the habit of allowing excuses and cop outs to be an acceptable response - then you will always find yourself setting goals, targets, new years resolutions, but rarely reaching them.

 

Think about your excuses for a moment.
Which one do you use?

"I just got too busy"
"Sorry, I became sidetracked"
"I have been swamped with other work"
"I simply couldn't be bothered today"
"I just don't like calling up my clients"

What's your excuse?
Excuses are like armpits - we all have them and they all stink!

Top 3 Excuses and how to beat them:

1. 'I'm too busy and don't have any time'
Who isn't busy and pressed for time?
However, you can get into the habit of saying , or thinking, that you are too busy. In this frame of mind, you no longer look for ways to reach your targets, but get caught up in why you can't reach them.

Raise your standards by expecting more from yourself.
Solution: Create time via leverage.
You may have heard the saying 'If you want something done, ask a busy person'.
Busy people fit more into their day because they look at ways to shortcut those tasks/jobs by leveraging their time. A great example of leverage is outsourcing those tasks you would rather not do, or take up too much time.

 

pivotal stories - Kung fu

 

2. 'I just have to get through this first before looking at everything else'
Another 'excuse habit' that stops you from planning your success.

Planning a wedding is a huge event. It is an exercise in logistics, project management, HR, mediation, communication, and occasionally, health and safety. It would be madness to leave the seating, catering, venue, table decorations etc. all to the last few days - major stress.

In the same sense you have plan how to use your time so that you get the best return on each hour of your day. How do you plan your time?

1. List what needs to be achieved over the next 7 days
2. From that list isolate what needs to be achieved in the next 24 hours.
3. Plan your order of action according to:
a. What action will give me the best return
b. What is the most productive use of my time
c. What needs to be done now?

Sure, a time plan can change in the first 30 minutes of your day. So, just re-do your plan if/when that happens.

3. I just can't be bothered.
This habit trains your body to become lazy. It sends a message that 'it is Ok to stop trying when you are outside your comfort zone'.

If babies thought this way, they would never walk.
Instead, raise your standards by being accountable.

a. Accountable to yourself.
Write out clear targets and read them each day. Stay mindful of where you want to go and what you want to achieve. Set clear dates by which you want to accomplish certain tasks, etc.
Be accountable to yourself for your actions.

b. Be accountable to others.
Let others know of your targets, aspiration - personal and professional. This way if you decide
to fall in the habit of 'I just can't be bothered' you will know that others have an expectation on
you - which may kick you back in to gear.

.........................................................................
Michael Licenblat B.Sc.(Psych), Resilience Expert
Website: www.BounceBackFast.com Email: Support@PerformanceSolutions.com.au

“You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.”
-- Joan Baez 

Anne Lamott

Anne makes it clear that writing must be pursued for something other than mere publication. It won’t solve the mechanical aspects of writing, or structural excellence, but it will spark creativity. It is incredibly informative, with startling revelations. http://bit.ly/Lumxf5