You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and most delicate ways, improve yourself. ~ John Ruskin
These days I find that I don’t bother to read the colorful ads in the Sunday newspaper. I also don’t have the desire to wander through the mall or the fancy furniture stores to see what lovely things they have that I may want.
When I was a young bride, I wanted all the fun, glitzy stuff, like fancy china, sterling silverware, a big house and a cool car. I forget why I wanted them. I think it may have had something to do with insecurity and the wish to “keep up with” our friends or society’s expectations.
Over the years I’ve lost that desire, and now I have no need to acquire things just for the sake of having them. Now my focus is to have a fun, safe, comfortable place for people to gather and enjoy each other. The focus is on the relationships, not the stuff.
The bottom line is that it’s always about the people. Family, friends, colleagues and the world community are what life is about. I can have all the wealth in the world, but if I don’t share love, respect and time with others, I have nothing.
So this month I’m reflecting on what’s reallyimportant to me. It’s always the people, and my goal every day is to show love, caring and compassion, and put more thought, time and energy into reinforcing those connections.
How about you?
Sandra Abell
Sandy is the author of Self-Esteem: An Inside Job. She is an educator, speaker and a Licensed Professional Counselor. She specializes in working with executives, business owners, professionals, entrepreneurs and people in transition. Sandy publishes a free monthly newsletter entitled Focusing On Your Success. Please visit Sandy on her website at www.insidejobscoach.com
[Quotation about public speaking] Public speaking will have its place
"As long as there are human rights to be defended; as long as there are great interests to be guarded; as long as the welfare of nations is a matter for discussion so long will public speaking have it place." ~ William Jennings Bryan
Public Speaking has its place
In my current obsession with storytelling, I have discovered a Hopi Proverb which says the "Those who tell the stories rule the world."
Leaders everywhere are those who give their followers something to believe in, a narrative that explains the present and paints a future.
And leaders are not just those in government or religion.
They lead in business, they lead in our institutions, they lead in our families.
We all have the capacity to be a leader at some time.
I am only thankful that the skills of public speaking are there to give us the power to lead and to create a world with values that we can uphold.
It's an age-old argument ... that bigger is better.
And without getting into too much anatomical detail or economic theory, sometimes it is.
Does that mean more is better too?
Well when it comes to speaking, the belief that more is better has been many a speaker's downfall ... including my own!
For me, I think it comes from the old school idea that more information means a higher mark, and possibly the old-school culture of an information age where information was king and prized above rubies.
It also comes, I think, from a need to come from a place of power as a speaker - a place of asserting authority on a subject, of being seen as the expert.
There's an old speaking proverb that says "When you squeeze your information in, you squeeze your audience out."
In order to create power for ourselves, we inadvertently take away power from the audience.
Some of the best speaking engagements I have had, have been where I was able to ask the audience questions - and get answers. Sometimes the groups were small enough to have an actual conversation, sometimes there were large so that I had to have show of hands or some other type of response. But I sensed the feeling of validation in the people who responded and in those around them. And we learnt from each other, sometimes far more than they simply would have learned from me.
There is value in giving power to our audiences.
There is value in not squeezing them out with an overload of information, too.
We want to be remembered. What is it that we want to be remembered for?
We want an outcome, a next step, for our audiences to take. What is that one step?
How many things do you remember from the last presentation you attended? One? Maybe three?
How many next steps can we realistically expect an audience to take when we finish speaking, or in the days, weeks, months afterwards? One? Any more than one?
So there is value then, in giving only the information that will contribute to that single powerful memory or that single next step. Give too much information , more than anyone could be expected to remember, or act upon, and we give nothing more than confusion, a garbled message. The result - forgettable and ineffective.
In this age driven by quick visuals and 140-character messages, there is enormous power is presenting a very focused, very memorable single message or two. You will be invited back, and/or you will have built a bridge to further communication and then can share more.
We can still be seen to be giving valuable loads of information, but remember at the same time that one single focus, that one memorable message.
Can you, as Carmine Gallo has challenged his students, write your message in 140 characters?
Bigger is not always better.
More is not always better.
And for speakers, less is definitely more.
