• Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?
    • He was trying to grow a water-melon.
    • Why are people always tired on Earth Day?
    • Because they just finished a March.




  • Why couldn’t the flower ride it’s bike?
  • It lost its petals.
  • How can you tell the ocean is friendly?
  • It waves.
  • What goes up when the rain comes down?
  • An umbrella.
  • Why are people always tired in April?
  • Because they just finished a March.
  • Why is grass so dangerous?
  • Because it’s full of blades.
  • Why did the Easter bunny hide?
  • He was a little chicken.
  • Why did the sun go to school?
  • To get brighter.
  • How do trees get on the internet?
  •  They log in
  • Why do hens lay eggs?
  • If they dropped them, they’d break.
  • How do you cut a wave in half?
  • Use a sea saw.
  • Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard on Earth Day?
  • Cause you can't grow a tree without bark.
    • What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
    • A spelling bee
    • What did the tree wear to the pool party?
    • Swimming trunks.
    • Do bees fly in the rain?
    • Not without their yellow jackets.
    • Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
    • It was feeling green.
    • What kind of shorts to clouds wear?
    • Thunderwear!
    • What has 18 legs and catches flies?
    • A baseball team.




  • Why do tornadoes zigzag?
  •  They’re dizzy.

  • What did the ground say to the earthquake?
  • You crack me up!
  • Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
  • Because she expected some change in the weather.
  • What’s the difference between weather and climate?
  • You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
  • How does a bee brush its hair?
  •  With its honeycomb.
  • What kind of plant grows on your hand?
  •  Palm tree.
  • Why can’t you tease egg whites?
  • They can’t take a yolk.



  • What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
  • You have to been careful not to step in a poodle.
  • What do you give a sick bird?
  • TWEETment
  • What is a tree’s least favorite month?
  • Sep-timber!
  • Why did the worm cross the ruler?
  • To become an inchworm.
  • What’s the biggest moth in the world?
  • A mammoth!
  • What type of bird should you never take to the bank?
  • A Robin.
  • Why are recycle bins optimistic?
  • Because they’re full of cans.
  • What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
  • A drizzly bear.



  • What did the little tree say to the big tree?
  • Leaf me alone
  • How do trees get on the internet?
  • They log in

Does your home attract positive people and prosperity? Are you living in and enjoying your environment? Whether the answer is no, or yes, the hints I am sharing will benefit you

   

Welcome Home

Walking into a familiar haven after a day’s work or outing can feel so unassuming. There is a slight adrenalin rush knowing you are about to step into your own sanctuary.  The shoes get kicked off; the kettle put on to boil and it is time to mellow out with a cup of tea, coffee and for some, a wine. The first sip is ecstasy. Within your own four walls, whether it is a caravan, tent, mansion or shanty, you are allowed to be ‘YOU’.

 

The tangible ‘bricks and mortar’ aspect of your home can absorb and reflect your personality. It attracts what and who you are. Is it attracting the abundance you deserve? Have you control over your environment?

 

Tips on How to Improve the Energies of your Home

I am not a feng shui expert and have given up on working out directions and all the technicalities. I am an intuitive and go with what feels right for me and advise that you do the same. Let’s start the tour at the threshold, which is described as the mouth that nourishes the home.)

 

  1. A welcome mat serves as more than a shoe wiper. The word ‘WELCOME’ tells the world that you are ready to receive visitors bearing gifts of friendship, love, happiness, wealth and health. It also relays the message that you are happy to give of your hospitality.
  2. An exemplar passage way allows an air flow throughout the home. This is lost when the front and back door are in line, or there is a mirror throwing the energy back.  A painting of a water-fall will have a similar effect to a mirror.  Chi leaves as quickly as it arrives when it is reflected.
  3. A bad omen is to have the toilet in direct sight of the entry way. If this is the case, always leave the lavatory door closed.  Regardless of toilet position, always leave the cover down. Apart from the germs, it is said that money flushes down the potty that has its lid up.
  4. Do not be in the habit of dumping shopping bags, shoes, umbrellas and so on at the front door. Keep the area clear of clutter.
  5. A small table near the entrance with a few crystals, a bell, flowers or plant is ideal. An angel photo or statue of Archangel Michael is a reminder that the angels protect your space.
  6. A candle glow or small light guides the energy towards your home. We have a candle burning in our entrance area with a fake $100 note underneath as a stimulant.
  7. If your home is facing mountains or you live in a dry area, a flowing fountain can be placed in the front yard or near the entrance. Mountains supporting the energy from the back and water at the front are optimal.  Too much drenching though can drown your fortune.
  8. Just as I explained the entrance as the mouth, the living areas can be the heart of the home. Fresh fruit, flowers, plants, crystals, shells and happy family snaps all contribute to the semblance.
  9. Ward off negative radiation from electronics with a combination of clear quartz crystals and heavy stones such as Black Tourmaline, Smoky Quartz or Jasper.
  10.   Set the mood with sound. Sing, put on an uplifting CD, have fun with a bell or drum and listen with your eyes … you will notice the difference.
  11. Laugh! If you are a grumpy-bum then visitors to your home will feel uncomfortable. Laughter lifts the vibrations.
  12. Pets are wonderful, but be aware that savage animals are negative to have in your home, whereas cuddly pets give a loving cosy feel. Kitty Litter should be well away from the living area.
  13.  Clean your home regularly. You don’t have to have it spotless, but at least pleasantly clean and neat. If you are a busy person with little time for cleaning then at the least always empty your kitchen garbage daily.
  14.  Dark homes are gloomy. Think about how much natural light filters through. Are your walls too dark? Are the drapes too heavy? Contrary to this is a home in tropical climates with too much light.
  15.  Name your place of residence.

 

No matter where you live, the bottom-line is how happy you are in your abode. If you would rather be elsewhere, but are restricted then consider following a few of the suggested hints and watch the difference.

 

Name Your Home

The name of our home is ‘Tir-Na-Nog’.   ‘Tir-Na-Nog’ is an Irish fairy-tale describing a place of utopia where happiness lasts forever and ever.  As legend tells, it is an island located beyond the edge of the map.  The journey is dangerous and hard to endure, but the destination is rewarding. One might be lucky to receive an invitation from the fairy habitants, in which case the passage of transit is made easy. Suffering, sickness and death do not exist in the ‘Land of the Young’ as it is a place of eternal youth and beauty.

 

Affirmation for the Home
This affirmation can be written on the back of a drawing or a picture of your dream home.
“I am now living in, and enjoying the energy of my dream home. My home attracts only positive people and prosperity.”

 

Dawn Alice is a Brisbane Psychic and Author, who has superior knowledge of the Tarot and Numerology with expertise in the area of metaphysics. Dawn Alice is also a Reiki Master with a deep understanding of Crystal and Colour Therapy.  Visit Dawn's Profile at http://bit.ly/2mPLu1P

Is it just me or is 24 hours really not as long as it used to be? And what about our kids? They're growing up at warp speed. Probably a blessing we're all too busy to notice them morphing into young adults before our eyes, otherwise how scary would that be? Of course, when it comes to other people's kids, you can't miss the changes, but with our own... most of us have a terminal case of blind spots. Unfortunately, turning a blind eye to reality isn't the most effective way to parent.

 

Life is all about change and our ability to deal with it. Our bodies, our feelings, our kids, our relationships, our life situation... all constantly changing. (So are all the molecules on your kitchen table, but we can save that for another time.) The more I meditate and breathe and read and write and think and teach, the clearer the changing nature of life becomes. The more I twist my torso into improbable positions (Hey, it's not painful, it's yoga!) the more I learn how flexibility is the best tool I've got going for me.

"Steady in the winds of change," my yoga teacher says. Steady as she goes. Steady, strong, centered. Those are the keystones to effective parenting. But steady doesn't mean "stuck" and true strength requires insight into what's needed right now.

 

Suppose you've always had a close relationship with your 12-year-old daughter. She's been a kid who's never held back from telling you everything she thinks and feels. You've prided yourself on the closeness you two share and how relationship reflects so positively on your parenting skills. Then one day you walk past her room and the door's closed. You go in. She's listening to music and reading. "Hi Dad," she grins, not removing her headphones.

 

You sit on the bed. "Hi, sweetheart. So tell me, what's new with you?"

 

"Nothing."

 

An awkward silence follows.

 

"You want something, Dad?"

 

You shake your head and slowly walk toward the door. "Dad," your daughter says sweetly, "Next time could you please knock?"

 

"Sure, honey," your smile belies the ice pick skewering your heart. In the hallway your mind reels. Why should I have to knock at my own child's door?! We've never had closed doors between us! She must be hiding something. I'm going back in there and demand that she tell me what's going on. I couldn't talk to my father about anything that really mattered, so I'm going to make damn sure that my daughter...

 

WAIT!

 

What's going on here?

Is this about your 12-year-old's normal desire for some privacy and respect or is it about your own fear that your relationship with your child is changing into... who knows what?

 




Should you zig or zag? If you zig only because it's how you've always reacted when you're hurt then you're not paying attention to your child's needs. Nor are you awake to the parenting challenge in front of you. An unwillingness to change in spite of changes happening all around is a sure-fire formula for unhappiness.

 

The result will be internal struggles and plenty of ongoing conflicts with your ever-changing tween or teen.

What to do? How about going for a walk? An actual walk is great if you can swing it, but any conscious choice to take a head-clearing break will help. While you're in the self-imposed time out ask yourself:

What does my child need from me now? It's an essential question whenever you feel stuck in your parenting mission. Children's behavior at any time, any age, broadcasts a need. Your job is to identify their need as accurately as possible then offer your help. Of course, there's no formula that will always work because their needs constantly change. One moment she'll need a hug and an encouraging word. Another moment he'll need a sympathetic ear and no words from you at all. One time they'll need you to set clear limits with unambiguous consequences for noncompliance. Another time they'll need you to respect the meaning of a closed door without taking it personally.

 

Where do your needs as a parent come in? That depends. You're absolutely within your rights to have your role, your values, your rules and your property respected. Those are valid needs. But when you need to be needed by your child or you need to use your child to look good in the eyes of others, that's unhealthy. Always be an adult and take care of your own changing needs as best as you can. Your kids have a big enough job growing up and learning to take care of themselves without having to take care of you too.

Change is our constant companion on this journey we call life. Our kids are the clearest evidence of that. They're rapidly developing into the independent young adults. As parents we're privileged to have an essential role in their unfolding. If we pay close attention we get to witness parts of the process. We also have the honor of helping them become who they are. Part of the reward is an opportunity to learn and grow along with them.

 

It's a new year. Change is the air we breathe. The best we can do for ourselves and our family is to remain as steady as possible. It also helps to keep your eyes, your mind, and your heart open. That's what our kids need most from us.

 

Annie Fox, M.Ed. is an award winning author, educator, and online adviser for parents and teens. AnnieFox.com

Read excerpts from her books: Too Stressed to Think? and the new Middle School Confidential™ series. Download (free) her entire book:Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating.

Listen to her podcast series "Family Confidential: Secrets of Successful Parenting" FamilyConfidential.com.

 

If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me “I can’t believe you could do that”, I’d be standing on a pile of money.

 

I can’t believe you can stand in front of an audience and not get nervous, I can’t believe you can feel that comfortable about cold calling business, I can’t believe you can ride that zip line, I can’t believe can walk into that room full of executives and not be intimidated, I can’t believe you can return to study at your age, I can’t believe you can travel overseas by yourself…and on it goes. What I’ve found most interesting about these comments is that to me, none of these actions are really a big deal.       Nor are they for some others either I know, but after hearing comments like this enough times, I have realised that acting without fear isn’t easy for a lot of people.

 

After consideration, I realised that the confidence I have to take on activities that many people find frightening, has been developed and nurtured.  And anyone can do the same. I realised rather than talking myself out of doing something and finding reasons, why not, why I can’t, I now automatically start to think how can I…what do I need to do to make that work?  Now, fortunately most things come easy, but it has taken work to get to a place where I feel confident in just about any situation.

 

When Franklin D Roosevelt famously quipped “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”, he was on the money.

 

What enables a person act without fear in a situation?  I believe there are three behaviours that must become intrinsic to shift a mindset from fearful to confident.

 

Number One:    Take a Risk

 

Next time you have an opportunity to do something that scares you, just say yes instead of over thinking reasons why you can’t.  Evoke Neales Donald Walsh quote “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” to inspire you to take risks to delight in all life offers.

 

Number Two:    Learn a Skill

 

Continually learning new skills means you open yourself to new ideas.  Every time you do something you haven’t done before, you allow yourself to expand your experience and shift your perspective.  Consider what new activity/skill you have always wanted to accomplish and begin.

 

Three:  Become Proficient

 

It makes sense doesn’t it?   If you can do something well, you will be confident doing it.  If you want to have the confidence to speak from stage then you need to not only obtain the skills, you also have to practice, practice and practice some more.  To speak well and with confidence on a subject you need to be well rehearsed.  Every time you stand in front of an audience you will be less nervous until you will eventually feel confident to enough you can address any problem that might arise.  The same goes for any fear you want to overcome.

When you live without fear, your stress levels are reduced all the “good hormones” work effectively in your body and can cope with real problems more effectively.

Principal Trainer and Director of Shifting Visions, Janeen Vosper, typically works with Sales Teams, Small Business Owners and Entrepreneurs to overcome their fear of selling and cure cold calling reluctance. She assists people to identify and crush hidden fears that block their potential as presenters to learn how to make speeches with ease and confidence…and also offers easy techniques to conquer Fear of Failure that affects many components of life.  You can view Janeen's profile here  =>  http://bit.ly/16p0UH9

You've never seen a movie like ONE before.

ONE takes you on the back of a bumblebee looking for what he believes is 'the magic flower'.

The insects he meets along the way give the bumblebee (and us) the most profound insights on life.

And those insights deepen as you meet real people actually applying what the bumblebee has learned.

ONE is a magical movie and a beautiful gift to us all.

 

We live in a time where there is intense focus and even an obsession when it comes to our environment. In many ways, I believe that this is a good thing. The questions that arise for me are; what causes us to act in ways that are so destructive to the environment? And at the same time, why is it that we only seem to care about our environment, now that it is in such a precarious position. This is a position, which has been described by many, as the point of no return.

Now, I don't believe that global warming is black and white and that one way or one approach will solve all of the problems. So with my understanding of the psychological and emotional aspects, I will focus on that side of the equation.

My perspective is that through our own avoidance of looking at our own pain and processing that which we find unpleasant and causes us conflict; we have become dissociated from ourselves. By this, I mean we have become numb to how we truly feel, and as a result of this, we not only treat ourselves badly, it also extends to our own environment.

When we act out of dissociation, one our abilities that makes us human, our ability to empathise is very much out of action. This then leads us to act unconsciously and react to life and in doing so we lose our capacity to act consciously, to question, whether what we are doing is helping our harming ourselves and others.

So when it comes to the question of why do we treat our environment so badly, I would add, do we truly treat ourselves much better? And that is our environment just a mirror of what is going on inside of ourselves? I don't believe that our own environment can be looked at in isolation, if we want to gain the right perspective and see the full picture. I believe that we have to look at all aspects to gain the right point of view.

This perspective clearly won't become front page news or a stance that will be favoured by many. I would say this is due to living in a society that is largely identified with the mind and as a result rarely has the ability to observe it. With dissociation being a defence mechanism of the mind, it is a way for the undeveloped ego to escape looking at itself and to avoid responsibility. I would say that the majority of what is supported by the mainstream is that which validates and strengthens the ego mind.

This is why I believe it is important not to get caught up in the media fear frenzy, as although there are clearly problems, as human beings we are also projecting our own meaning onto the world and that meaning is not the world. And as much as we try to understand what is happening through science and research, we can never see the whole picture and know everything. So being in a place of fear and hopelessness as a result of what the media says could be complete waste of our energy, as it could not only be false, but we could be using that energy to make a difference.

If we see the environment as an extension of ourselves and we bring our awareness to that point, we can begin to ask the question of, what are we holding onto that doesn't serve us? And as a result of this, is also harming our environment.

If we take the perspective that our environment is a living organism, that has feelings and needs just like ourselves and is not an inanimate object, would we start to treat it differently? As we start to love and appreciate ourselves more, will we also treat our environment in the same way? And if we see ourselves as separate from our environment, does his also make it easier for us to harm it?

The film Avatar by James Cameron, posed plenty of questions when it comes to our environment. While there has been numerous interpretations of what the film was about, Cameron himself has said his meaning was about mans sense of entitlement when it comes to the environment. How we believe that we are above and have complete control over our environment. Seeing our environment as sacred and something we can work with and not against, is overlooked and usually dismissed. Perhaps this way of looking at nature seems a bit bizarre to many people and might even draw comparisons to pantheism.




There is also the view point that nature reacts to how we feel and absorbs our emotions. This sounds normal to me; however I have no empirical experience to know it at a deeper level. If indeed this is so, would it explain a lot of what's going on, with the amount of negativity it would have to process from us all?

The outlook I have, is through our disassociation from ourselves, we start to become dissociated from our environment, as this happens we begin to project separation onto life. As this is all occurring we try to control and dominate our environment, as a way to compensate for our perceived loss of power. One of the consequences of this is we destroy the very thing that supports and nourishes us. Although our ego is there to give us our sense of individuality, when we have forgotten that we are also connected at the same time, it can naturally lead one to feel powerless.

The second question I posed was why does there only seem to be widespread concern for our environment now that it is in dire straits. As I look at this occurrence, I can see that there are many examples in life where this happens. Whether it relates to our health, our diet or how physically fit we are, very often we are only motivated to do something about these areas when they are really bad and rarely in the early stages of when the signs first start to appear.

I currently believe there are two reasons for this. The first is that one of the ways the mind operates is through pleasure and pain. The other reason is gained, by looking at how defence mechanism's work.

I would say that these two aspects work together to motivate what we do and don't do. However when we are the observers of our mind, we can become conscious of them and decide whether we want to live that way or change how we are. This is something that is not possible if we remain unaware of their influence over us.

So there could be a degree of pain in our life and yet very often it is not enough to motivate us to change. However the more we avoid the pain, the stronger it gets. As it accumulates we will continue to receive warning signs and the consequences will continue to compound. With the egos need to feel safe, being the very thing that often leads to our own downfall. It has just occurred to me that defence mechanisms are the application of pleasure and pain, as they allow us to avoid pain momentarily or that's what their intention is. This is done by using any of the defence mechanism that will allow for the instant release and escape of that pain. Although there are many different ones, they all serve the same purpose.




So I believe, as we continue to appreciate and love ourselves, not only will we as individuals treat our immediate environment better, we will also see a global change as a result. I believe there is always a way, and our own mind wont necessarily be able to comprehend another way. And this is normal, as the only thing the mind knows is the past and a combination of the past, however as we continue to expand what we know and trust in our hearts, the answer's and solutions will be revealed.

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity.

For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.

One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

 

 

You know how everyone gets random phone calls that aren't meant for them? It happens all the time and chances are its happened to you before. They could have simply dialed one wrong number or had a completely wrong number. It happens all the time. Anyways, when I was younger I use to be very rude to people who would call me randomly, I never had the patience to deal with them and I would usually do one of two things, chew them out or hang up on them.

About a year ago, I started getting calls from this lady in Florida who thought I was her Grandson. At first, I admit, I was irritated. Especially because of how many times she would call. I would always tell her that NO, I was not her Grandson and that she had the wrong number. She would be very apologetic and tell me how she just wanted to know how her Grandson was doing. After a while, I started getting the feeling that the old lady was alone and may have dementia or Alzheimer's because she always seemed surprised when I would tell her that I wasn't her Grandson and that she had the wrong number.

Now to provide you with a little background information, my Grandfather had Alzheimer's and I never met any of my other Grandparents, so there has always been that missing piece in my heart especially now seeing how much my nephews and nieces love spending time with their Grandparents. Because of this, I always have had a soft spot for the elderly and especially those with mind altering diseases. So, I made a conscious decision to start talking to this elderly lady and "pretended" to be her Grandson. She would call me asking me about how my life was going and I would tell her about my actual life. I would tell her how I was going to school to become a teacher, how excited I was when I graduated and started subbing. I told her my hopes, fears and desires. I told her more details about my life than I have ever shared with a complete stranger before. Sometimes we would just talk about life.

I told a couple of my close friends and family about this elderly lady but not many because to be honest, I didn't want to come off as a crazy person who was pretending to be someone I wasn't. Deep down I always looked forward to her calls and even when if I was busy, I would be sure to always answer and talk even if it was only briefly. Then about a couple months ago, the phone calls stopped. I was worried and had no way of reaching her since she always called from a restricted Florida number. The only information I knew was that her name was Beatrice. I assumed the worse and hoped in some small way I made a difference in her life.

Today, I received a phone call from a Florida number. It was from an orderly who identified themselves as an employee at Sutton Homes in Florida. I had no clue who this person was or why they were calling. I almost hung up on her to be honest. Then the girl said something that caught my attention, she said one name, Beatrice. She told me about this lovely elderly woman she had been taking care of for years. The woman would always talk to her about her Grandson and how proud she was of him becoming a teacher. She would say how she knew what an amazing teacher her Grandson would become. The orderly was confused about this because Beatrice had no living family, yet she would always call the same number and speak to a young man. It was then she told me that Beatrice had passed away at age 87 on Monday, July 16. She wanted to call and let me know how much my phone conversations meant to Beatrice over the years and how she always proudly spoke about her Grandson.

I sat there, stunned, as tears started pouring down my face. I never met this woman. I don't even know what she looked like. What started off as a joke, became something so much more that I looked forward to and in a way this lady took the place of my Grandparents I never was able to meet. I never was able to tell Beatrice that I got a job as a full time teacher. She would have been so proud, just like I know my own Grandparents would have been. There's still so much more I would like to share with her but can't now.

The moral of the story
---------------------------
I suppose is that you don't know how much you mean to the people in your life especially the random ones. Love with all of your heart and never hold back, but most importantly, never ever hang up when an elderly woman calls hoping to speak with her Grandson, it may just end up changing your life.
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From Joshua Hertweck on Facebook