Your heart is much more than a biological muscle. It signifies energy, vibrancy, life, love, hope, happiness, vitality, strength, and spirit. When we examine our lives and the priorities that we place on our routines—careers, finances, relationships, successes, and failures—none of them carry much importance if we do not have our health as a base to support everything else. We strive to continually improve the quality of our lives, our sense of well-being, our energy levels, and our mental capacities.
Life is a gift, and good health and a good heart should be our most prized possessions. Yet too often, we fail to treasure our health and our hearts until those blessings are gone. Many of my patients seem to live in a state of constant chaos. They perceive their lives to be problem-filled, busy and unsettled, and they lurch from one crisis to another.
Sandra is one such example. A busy single mom of three young boys, Sandra works full time. She drops her children off at school each morning, picks them up at the end of the day, rushes home to prepare a meal, and barely has time to help them with homework before it’s time to get ready for bed. Hers is a busy life that many of us can relate to. She is constantly stressed and worried, fearful of the next crisis around the corner. Sandra’s life is out of control. It is no wonder that she is on several blood pressure medications and is constantly in my office with chest pain and palpitation.
Living in a constant state of chaos serves a purpose for Sandra. By keeping her attention and energy focused on putting out fires, she avoids facing the root causes of her stress. If external events are to blame, she does not have to assume personal responsibility for her actions or behaviors. This is the common thinking pattern of many. We defer to the chaos and allow it to sap our energy, disrupt our relationships, feed our addictions, and subject us to long-term health concerns.
But we have much more control over our lives than we give ourselves credit for. We may not hold sway over the many external events that seem to pitch our lives into a constant state of crisis. Yet we have power over something just as critical: our own reactions to those events.
Health and a vibrant, vivacious heart are not wholly physical things. The life we desire, the health we desire, and the quality of our hearts and bodies are first created within our mind’s eye. I share many effective techniques with my patients to help us manage stress, bring order to our chaotic lives, and find deep and lasting peace with ourselves and with the world around us.
- Build sources of renewable energy. Your body responds to stress with adrenaline, but adrenaline is a fast-burning fuel source that leaves you depleted in the long run. Renewable energy is a long-term well of power that you can draw on repeatedly. How do you build renewable energy? Spend time with family, friends and loved ones, doing things you enjoy. Nurture your soul with art, music, dance, and beautiful things. Love yourself first, and you will start to build boundless reserves of energy from within.
- Lower your stress response. Meditation, nature walks, and quiet times will help you focus on the present and release stress. Play a musical instrument. Go dancing. Tour a museum and embrace an unusual piece of art. Breathe. Rather than letting stress be a source of agitation, train your physical body to relax. Let stress be a minor element of your day, rather than letting it define the whole day.
- Connect with your inner self. Mindful meditation creates the right state of mind that will allow you to develop a relationship with your inner guide. Take an honest look at who you are inside and listen to your inner voice. Develop a relationship with your true self. Engage in a conversation with yourself. You may not always be aware of your inner voice – but it is always aware of you.
- Learn to become present in the moment. This is perhaps most important of all. Focus on a single moment in time. Become aware of that moment. Savor it. Appreciate it. Fill your senses with it. Let the past go and don’t worry about tomorrow. All that matters is today, this moment. Embrace today, one single moment at a time. Don’t even try to capture it on camera – just be content to let it reside in your memory. Each moment is precious. Savor it.
By building peace within, you will create a powerful defense against the demands of a chaotic life. You will turn things around and regain control of your choices, instead of letting external events control you.
A strong sense of inner peace is something that no external factor can disrupt. More importantly, your inner peace will become a source of renewable energy that will keep nurturing you no matter what. You will have boundless energy and endless vitality that no amount of stress or chaos can take away. Make the right choices, and celebrate your vibrant heart!
Dr. Cynthia Thaik
Dr. Thaik's book, Your Vibrant Heart, includes many more insights about how to nurture and care for your heart on both a physical and emotional level. I invite you to order your copy today at http://www.yourvibrantheart.com/book.
Dr. Cyntha Thaik is a Harvard-trained HEART doctor that practices with her HEART, delivering security and peace of mind to her patients by orchestrating behavioral and mindset shifts to evoke lasting transformational changes in their health, well-being, vitality, energy, and creativity. You can learn more about her at www.drcynthia.com.
Most people wish they read more.
It is an activity that is both fun and enlightening. It can help us be more knowledgeable and successful. However, it is an activity that many people don't engage in very much. According to the 1999 National Household Education Survey, 50% of the U.S. population aged 25 and over read a newspaper at least once a week, read one or more magazines regularly, and had read a book in the past 6 months.
What does this mean?
It means that 50% of the population hasn't read a book in the last six months!
Looking at the other end of the spectrum, research shows that if you read ten books a year, you are in the top few percent of all people as readers. Simply stated, it doesn't take much to be well read, but we do need to know how to get started. The following are ten suggestions to help you strengthen your reading habit - ways to find and make more time for reading.
1. Always have a book around. Don't go anywhere without reading material. Keep magazines or short stories in your bathroom. Always have something in your briefcase to read. Keep a book(s) by your bed. Having things available makes it easier for you to steal otherwise lost moments.
2. Set a reading goal. Determine how much time you want to spend reading, or how many books you want to read over time. Your goal might be a book a month, one per week, or it might be to read 30 minutes a day. Start out with something attainable but still a stretch. As your habit builds, you might set higher goals. Setting a goal is the first step towards reading more.
3. Keep a log. Keep a list of the books you have read, or keep track of how much time you read each day. You might keep these lists in your journal or your day planner. My son's log is on our refrigerator. My list and log are kept on my computer. It doesn't matter where you keep it, just do it.
4. Keep a list. Make a list of things you want to read in the future. Ask your friends and colleagues what they are reading. Watch for recommendations in the newspaper and magazines. Once you start looking for good books, you'll find them everywhere. This is a great way to keep your enthusiasm up. By knowing what great stuff you want to read, you will reinforce your reading habit.
5. Turn off the television. Many people say they just don't have enough time. Television is one of our major time consumers. Make your television watching more conscious and less habitual. There is nothing wrong with watching television shows you really enjoy. Where the time gets lost is turning it on, and scanning to find "something to watch." Those are the times to turn it off and pick up your book!
6. Listen when you can't read. Use your commute and other time spent in the car to listen! There are great audio versions of all sorts of books. Whether you want to "read" fiction, the latest self-help or diet book, it is probably available on tape. Don't get locked into the idea that you have to read it - listening to the book still gives you the experience, ideas, and imagination that reading a book can.
7. Join a reading group or book club. Reading groups typically meet once a month to discuss a book they have all decided to read. Committing to the group provides a bit more impetus to finish the book, and gives you a great forum for discussion and socialization around the book's themes.
8. Visit the library or bookstore often. You have your list, right? So you'll have some ideas of what you are looking for when you walk in. But there is more to be gained by walking through places where books reside than just to make a transaction. Take time to browse! Let your eyes find things of interest. Let serendipity happen. Browsing will feed your mental need to read, and give you plenty of new things to read.
9. Build your own strategy. Decide when reading fits your schedule. Some people read first thing in the morning, some before bed. Some decide to read as they eat their lunch. And there is more to your strategy than just timing. Make your own decisions about reading. It is OK to be reading more than one book at once. It is OK to stop reading something before you finish if it isn't holding your interest. It is OK to skim the book, getting what you want or need, without reading every page. Determine what works best for you, develop your own beliefs and ideas--then make them work for you.
10. Drop Everything and Read. My son's fourth grade class has DEAR (Drop Everything and Read) time. When the teacher calls for it, that's just what they do. They read now. That is my last piece of advice for you. Do it. Just get started. Make it DEAR time. Now.
©All Rights Reserved, Kevin Eikenberry. Kevin publishes Unleash Your Potential, a free weekly ezine designed to provide ideas, tools, techniques and inspiration to enhance your professional skills. Go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/current.asp to read the current issue and subscribe. Kevin is also President of The Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. You may contact Kevin at toll free 888.LEARNER. Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
To go by the words of Abraham Lincoln, "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
These words find support in what the famous psychologist Richard Lazarus explained in his Cognitive Mediational Theory(1991). In this theory, Lazarus proposed that the most important aspect of any emotional experience is how the person interprets, or appraises the stimulus that causes the emotional reaction. in simple terms, the happy man is he, who thinks he is.
Nobody's life is hunky-dory all the time. Every person has to face trials and tribulations, go through difficult times. He indeed, is wise, who chooses to put on the glasses of optimism and faith and interprets the events of his life as positively as humanely possible.
Life, if you look at it this way, is not a race. It is a hurdle race. You can't question the presence of hurdles. They will be there, for that's the nature of the sport. If you bang your head on the hurdles and try to remove them out of your path, you going against the flow, attempting the illogical and the fruitless.
Not just that,you are not putting your heart and soul to win the race, for your focus has actually slipped into some other territory. There is no way you are going to win in this manner. If you lose your strength at the sight of a hurdle, and ask "why such things happen to me all the time, WHY ME?", you yourself are delaying your victory.
Again, if you just sit there, waiting for the hurdle to disappear, you are only deceiving yourself.
Not just the best, but the only option you have is to jump over the hurdles, as and when they come, without creating any fuss.
It often helps if you are a person deeply connected to nature. Feeling low? Well then go smell the flowers, let the breeze kiss your hair, leave your slippers on the porch and let your feet feel the moist grass, savour the delightful courtship dance of the butterflies, go out in the sun and let the blameless blue of the winter sky be your confidante, let the zephyr carry your message to that distant companion. Go, fall in love with nature.
Learn to appreciate the beauty that the mundane things of everyday life have to offer. Just imagine life without the things you take the most for granted. You will know their value then.
Maintain a gratitude journal. list all those things, people and moments in it that had made you smile someday and that make your everyday life worth living. It can be your coffee mug, or a compliment your teacher paid you that fine day, anything. When you are low in spirits, just flip through its pages, and you will have a hundred and one things to be happy about.
It is often seen that people find it easy to forgive, but not to forget. What we don't understand is, forgiveness is incomplete in such a scenario. By repeating emotional episodes over and over in our mind, we inadvertently etch them in our memory. So, the key is to let go, to not think at all about anything unpleasant that we have been through.
Equally important is to first know ourselves. It is always desirable to keep the doors of improvement open, but we also need to learn to distinguish between comments that are credible and that are not. If you have put on a white dress and a friend of yours with black sunglasses comes and tell you that the black dress you have worn does not look good on you, and on top of that, you get upset on hearing that... well, to say the least, nothing can be more ridiculous.
Not to forget, nothing succeeds like success and the high one gets out of achievement is just unmatched.
Have a clearly defined goal, make sure it is challenging enough but realistic and put in every possible effort to achieve it. If you are able to achieve it, well and fine. If not, you did not lose either, in the actual sense of the term, for in the process, you actually grew as a person and learnt things you not have, had you not been in pursuit of the goal. At least you will not be amongst those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.
Last, but not the least, cultivate a taste for literature, for poetry. It will be with you when nobody else is. Go, live your days of happiness!!!!
Sudha Shashwati is a psychology major in University of Delhi and considers positive psychology to be her niche. She is an out and out humanistic psychologist, a hopeless romantic and a shouting optimist. When not drowned in literature, she loves spreading sunshine around through her writings at http://thelidislifted.blogspot.in
Nor should you take it for granted. Your voice can have a profound impact on how successfully you influence and persuade others. Your voice effects how seriously you are taken... how respected you are... the results you get with clients, co-workers or vendors in business, with lovers or spouse and children in your personal life.
Your voice can be a powerful secret advantage you very deliberately use for influence and persuasion (just as actors and people paid thousands of dollars per minute to record commercials do)—or it can be a handicap (like it was for Markus on The Apprentice), undermining the impact of everything you say.
Here’s why.
Voice works on a subconscious level even more than on a conscious level. There is ‘voice detection technology’ used by law enforcement agencies and in corporate espionage. It works much like a lie detector—but without the person being judged knowing that it’s happening.
However, every individual has similar “technology” installed in their own subconscious. It judges truth, veracity, substance, gravitas and authenticity constantly in all the voices that try to influence you. This goes on all the time and is one of the five “feeds” from the subconscious to the conscious that directly determines whether you are accepted, believed and paid attention to.
For example, does your voice quiver when you quote your price or fee? It might not seem that people notice, but they do.
In fact, in a study done at UCLA, Dr. Albert Mehrabian found that up to 84% of your success depends on your ability to skillfully ‘play” your speaking voice.
Susan Berkley. Professional voice over training and voice coaching via online training courses, workshops and seminars for voice over talents and voice actors. https://www.greatvoice.com/
1. Stop participating in the cultural rules. Commit to getting out the door on time. Who decided that you should work until 7:00 p.m.? How much is the time "you're devoting because you're a salaried employee and obligated to do what it takes to get the job done" worth?
2. Start meetings before 4:00 p.m. If you have some say or control regarding meeting times, schedule them to end by 4:30. Preferably, start meetings right after lunch. Block out your calendar beginning at 4:00 every day so people can't schedule with you. And don't ask people to begin projects at 4:45 PM. Respect their right to a life, too.
3. Be assertive. Don't be afraid to tell others, "I leave work at 5:00, on time, every day. I have a 5:30 commitment I must adhere to." It's none of their business that your commitment is with yourself or your family. People tend to support others when their goals are made public.
4. Schedule fixed office hours. If you have an assistant, block off certain hours a few days a week to accept appointments. Perhaps Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you take appointments from 9:00 to 10:30 and 2:00 to 3:30. This way you don't have interruptions overlapping the time you're trying to leave the office.
5. Make preparations to leave. Gather up your coat and put it in a visible spot so others can see you're on your way out. Close your door a few minutes before quitting time so people will think you're busy or already gone. Whatever they want, it can wait until tomorrow.
6. Challenge your assumptions. Long hours aren't "the way it is." To reduce the time pressure you feel, decide to reclaim your day, not by working longer, but to finish your work within the workday. Don't focus on "catching up." You will never catch up. There will always be more things to do than time to do them. By being more productive during the day, you'll get the same amount of work done and leave earlier.
7. Start small. Pick a single day, perhaps Thursdays, to be "the" day you leave work on time. To support this decision, you will automatically begin to be more productive on Thursdays and work your day more carefully. Keep working on productivity skills and adding more days, until you're working your 40-hour workweek again and accomplishing even better results.
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Laura Stack, MBA, CSP, is president of The Productivity Pro, Inc., an international consulting firm specializing in productivity improvement in high-stress industries and is the media's go-to expert on personal productivity and workplace issues. Laura is the author of the bestselling book Leave the Office Earlier (Broadway Books). She has appeared on many top news media outlets including CNN, NBC-TV, NPR, Bloomberg, the New York Times, and numerous leading magazines. Laura presents keynotes and seminars on surviving information overload, managing multiple priorities, reducing stress, and balancing work and family. (C) Copyright Laura Stack, MBA, CSP. All rights reserved.
Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash
Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in your life. If there were one thing I could wish upon my family, friends and the readers of this [article], it would be joy in everything they do!
Know your purpose. Nothing will bring you joy more than knowing what it is that you are about on this earth. Not knowing brings sadness, wondering, fear and lack of fulfilment. Above all, find out what your unique purpose is here on this earth - then fulfil it! As you do, you will experience joy!
Live purposefully. This is a follow up to number one. It is one thing to know your purpose, but then you need to live according to that purpose. This is a matter of priorities. Let your actions and schedule reflect your purpose. Don't react to circumstances and let them cause you to live without your purpose fully in site. Living without your purpose will cause frustration. Living purposefully will bring you deep satisfaction and joy!
Stretch yourself. Don't settle into the status quo. That will leave you unfulfilled. Always look to stretch yourself. Whatever you are doing, stretch yourself to do more! Stretching yourself will break the limits you have set for yourself and will cause you to find joy in your expanded horizons!
Give more than you take. It brings happiness to accumulate. It brings joy to give away. Sure, getting the car you worked hard for will bring you a sense of satisfaction and even happiness. But it won't bring you joy. Giving something away to the less fortunate will bring you deep, abiding joy.
Surprise yourself, and others too. The words here are spontaneity and surprise! Every once in a while, do the unexpected. It will cause everybody to sit back and say, "Wow, where did that come from?" It will put a little joy in your life, and theirs.
Indulge yourself sometimes. Too much indulgence and you are caught in the happiness trap. Looking for the next purchase, celebration etc to bring you a little "happiness high." But if you will allow yourself an infrequent indulgence as a reward for a job well done and a life well lived, you will appreciate the indulgence and experience the joy of it.
Laugh a little - no, a lot! Most people are just too serious. We need to laugh a little - no, a lot! Learn to laugh daily, even if you have to learn to laugh in bad situations. This life is to be enjoyed! The next time you go to the movie rental store, get a comedy and let loose! Let yourself laugh!
Joy can be yours! Look for it, pursue it and enjoy it!
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Chris Widener is an internationally recognized speaker, author and radio host. He is the author of five books and audio series as well as over 350 success articles. If you would like to order Chris' products, including his Newest Release, The Angel Inside as well as Live the Life You Always Dreamed Of, The Secrets of Influence or his CD series, The Extraordinary Leaders Seminar go to http://www.chriswidener.com or call 800-929-0434.
Do you hate to write? Does it take you a long time to get the words on the page? Usually when people struggle to write, it’s because they are trying to edit as they go along. There is an easier way to write and be more creative!
Step 1 - Write
It’s hard to be creative if you’re editing at the same time. When you begin your writing project don’t think about word choices or punctuation. Just write. Don’t read your work. Just write. It will be difficult at first because you will be tempted to make changes. Resist the temptation! Just write. You’ll find that thoughts and ideas start flowing once you stop editing. When you’ve finished writing put it away for a couple of days. When you take it out, become the editor and start making your changes.
Step 2 - Edit
Read through your work, then mark the parts you want to change or revise. Focus in on the paragraphs, sentences and words that need revision. Get more specific with each round of edits. Read the piece again, then focus in on specific passages, sentences, paragraphs that you want to shape up. When you’re finished, read the entire piece again.
Now would be a good time to use the spell checker. However, don’t depend on it to catch all of the errors. If you write “your” and you really meant “you’re” the spell checker won’t catch it. It’s not a misspelled word. Unless your spell checker points out commonly confused words, it won’t find the problem.
Step 3 - Listen
Satisfied with your changes? Read your work out loud so that you’ll be more likely to catch missing words, incorrect tenses or repetitive phrases. It will also allow you to catch places where perhaps a word can be changed to a more appropriate one, or a sentence can be reworked so that it flows better. Make additional revisions and read it again.
If time permits, put your work away for another day or two. Give yourself some distance from the work, so when you read it again you’ll be less likely to be filling in words or meanings that aren’t there. You’ll be able to see it as though you were reading it for the first time. If possible have someone else read it and give you feedback. Perhaps another “pair of eyes” will find that a thought or concept isn’t coming across as you intended.
You know what you want to say, but that doesn’t mean that your readers will get it. Having someone else read the work will give you another perspective. In fact, it would be better to have a few people read it, especially if your work will be presented to a large audience. Take the feedback and determine what makes sense and what doesn’t. For instance, if the majority of your feedback mentions a specific issue, pay attention.
Allow yourself to write whatever comes to mind without editing. Let your ideas flow and you’ll see how easy it is to get your words on the page.
Autor Deborah A. Bailey, Writing Services Central, LLC
Deborah A. Bailey is a professional writer and owner of Writing Services Central, LLC. Her company provides expert writing and editing services to entrepreneurs. Subscribe to the free monthly ezine for writing and editing tips and articles at http://www.writingservicescentral.com
