Why Confidence Matters

Confidence feels good.

Well most times it does, or maybe when we’re confident, we just don’t notice –
life goes on, and we can face each day and what we need to achieve.

To me, it feels strong.  When I am on stage or leading a workshop, I often take a moment to appreciate how far I’ve come and feel grounded.  There’s that moment of recognition.

But when we have lost confidence, we notice it -

the shaking knees, dry mouth, temperature changes and a raft of other physical forms that fear brings.  And yes I’ve felt those as a speaker, but also in other aspects of life where I am not confident.

It can mean we avoid doing things that we need to do, want to do, could and should do, because it feels terrible.  Decisions become difficult, if impossible.

Today, and perhaps always, there has been pressure to succeed within our peer groups, at work, at school and an emphasis on the external validation that goes with it.  And if we feel we cannot meet those expectations, we lose confidence, feel inadequate.

Confidence drops, when our expectations aren’t met in circumstances that matter.  It may be when someone whose opinion we treasure, or who has always provided validation, points out deficiencies, or when a previous hurtful issue is triggered.

Most times confidence returns quickly but sometimes it takes work, telling a new story of the way forward, or reminding oneself of the story that worked in the past.

What if we shifted the focus from the external validation and looked at cultivating a healthy self-confidence?

Confidence is an internal assurance, an inner strength, a cornerstone for growth.

Internal self-confidence results in

Confident communication means you can express your thoughts and ideas clearly. You can communicate openly and assertively. And this, of course, builds better relationships.

Confidence builds resilience because it means we view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. I have learned that this is the story I tell myself about hard times, challenges and setbacks, and it has helped me grow stronger.  It means being able to develop a positive mindset that allows us to move forward with strong mental health as well.

Belief in one's abilities and capacities, means we are more likely to take on challenging tasks and leadership roles, basic to career advancement. Confident employees are also more likely to take calculated risks, showcase their skills effectively, and stand out in competitive environments.  

Confidence means we trust our judgment, act, and take responsibility for outcomes.  This ability to make decisions with conviction leads to a sense of control over one's life and outcomes, which again supports mental wellness and feeds confidence.

The higher efficiency and output of increased productivity stem from a belief in one's capabilities, a willingness to take on challenges, and the motivation to set and achieve goals.

The mind-body connection is powerful, and confidence contributes to overall well-being. Confident individuals also often use healthier lifestyle choices.

When individuals believe in their abilities, they are more likely to think creatively outside the box, take creative risks, and explore innovative solutions, from the arts to business. Confident individuals are fearless in expressing their unique perspectives, leading to breakthroughs and advancements.

If this is so for you, congratulations.  I suspect you have done the work, and have had the support to experience the advantages of confidence – in life and in your speaking/storytelling.

But if your confidence needs a boost or you need to build from scratch, then stay with me.