Tag Archive for: Communication

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[Public speaking tip] Gestures on a level

gesture

Are you a natural gesturer, or do you have to force yourself to gesture?

Or perhaps there is a third question I could ask, and that is ... have your modified your gestures to be more appropriate to your speaking?

I basically think that the more natural a speaker, the better.

And gestures are not absolutely necessary to communicate.

Sometimes I am annoyed at a television presenter or video presenter who makes the same gesture over and over, or who makes gestures at a level that seems inappropriate to the frame in which he is presenting. But then, I also think that those who evaluate or coach speakers can become too focussed on minor details that most people simply don't notice, unless they are judging a speech contest. If gestures are inappropriate it is usually a reflection of a deeper level of communication.

Nevertheless I have always been intrigued by something I read years and years ago, that basically

Gestures above shoulder level support messages about things that are spiritual or uplifting (a church minister will raise his hands in blessing).

Ordinary messages are supported by gestures at the middle level of your body.

Things that are despicable or degrading or debilitating are supported by gestures below the waist.

Do you agree?

And would you coach a speaker to create gestures based on this information?

[Image from Stallonezone]

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The Secrets To E-Mail Nirvana

Email

 
You crank up your computer every morning, click to your e-mail and--whap!--a slew of messages demands attention.

E-mail can be a great tool, but many misuse it, turning what should be quick, easy communication into a laborious, time-consuming management chore.

"Many people use the inbox as a to-do list, calendar and filing system," says Mark Hurst president and founder of Creative Good, a consulting firm in New York. "File some messages and delete most of them, but without a doubt, don't let anything stay in your inbox permanently."

Hurst says effective e-mail management is built on filters, filing and ruthless use of the delete key.
He offers this distinction to better define the problem: The number of new messages received each day is "volume" while the number of e-mails sitting in the inbox is "message count." The second is the key measure of effective e-mail management.

"A user who gets 100 messages a day may not be overloaded at all if the message count is low," Hurst says. "Conversely, a user who gets ten e-mails a day may be overloaded."

If the number of messages stacked in the inbox becomes too large and difficult to manage, you're overloaded. The e-mail system then becomes a black hole rather than a productivity tool and your output will suffer.

"If overload is the problem, then removing the load is the solution," Hurst says in a special report, "Managing Incoming E-mail." "Here's how to manage incoming e-mail: Keep the inbox empty--clear out incoming e-mails before they pile up or you lose your ability to manage them effectively."

But there's just one catch and, unlike catch-22, it's not the least bit philosophical.

"It may be a simple solution, but it's not easy," Hurst says. "Achieving simplicity--or emptiness, in this case--takes time and continued improvement. It's difficult but better than drowning in e-mails and becoming less effective. Only an empty inbox will allow users to take full advantage of the benefits of e-mail."

The first step is deleting all spam. Never reply to spam because the spammer will know your e-mail address is active and sell it to others at a premium. The result: more spam.

Next, read all personal e-mail from friends or family and save selected messages as needed elsewhere on your computer or print out important notes. It might be a good idea to check your personal e-mail account at work and use it to chitchat and exchange goofball jokes with your lunatic friends while reserving your company account for (gasp) work-related items. Admit it: This would sharply reduce the volume of incoming mail on the company e-mail system.

Hurst says messages should be sorted by date with the oldest message at the top of the list. Each message should be opened and the appropriate action--filing or deletion-- should be taken quickly. This will prevent the accumulation of a 500-message stack in your inbox.
Hurst says newsletters should be read or scanned quickly, but never filed because then you'll have two cluttering up your inbox when the next arrives. FYIs, or non-actionable information such as an answer to a question or notification of an event, should be read quickly, filed if necessary and deleted as soon as possible.

Hurst urges use of the "two-minute rule" for to-dos. If the task outlined in the e-mail takes two minutes or less to complete, even if it means getting out of your chair, do it immediately and delete the message.
If you're way behind in managing your e-mail, Hurst recommends a ruthless cleaning out of the clutter in the inbox to allow users to manage e-mail effectively with just a few minutes work each day. It may take several whacks to get through all the old junk, but once it's cleaned out, it's done and future management of the inbox can be handled in just a few minutes each day.

E-mail arrives throughout the day so it's impossible to keep the inbox empty at all times. Hurst recommends dealing with e-mails as soon as possible after each arrives or setting aside a few minutes several times a day to complete the task.

"Users shouldn't let an inbox go more than one business day without emptying," he says.
Filters will screen out most of the junk. For starters, Hurst recommends setting up your filter to accept mail from everyone in your address book. Suspected spam, including any e-mail containing viruses or unknown attachments, gets sent to purgatory--a folder for suspected junk mail from unknown senders. Any e-mail with three or more consecutive exclamation points gets zapped. Set the filter to automatically delete any e-mail containing raunchy words you'd expect to find in sexually explicit spam.

Have the filter kill any e-mail with "adv" in the message line. Expand the list of subject lines to kill starting with obvious pitches such as "Free Long Distance," "Find background info about anyone," "Quit Smoking" and "Be your own boss." Compiling the list requires some thought because many spam subject lines appear in legitimate e-mail such as free, mortgage, university, diploma and life insurance.
Software will thin the thundering herd of spam seeking to graze and fatten your inbox, but it's not the final, or best, way to manage e-mail.

"'Delete' is one keystroke," Hurst says. "I don't know what's easier than that."

Article written by Scott Reeves© Forbes.com Inc.™

Learning and thinking for leadership and change – Five Minds for the Future


We live in a time of vast changes. And those changes call for entirely new ways of learning and thinking. In "Five Minds for the Future," Howard Gardner defines the cognitive abilities that will command a premium in the years ahead: the Disciplinary mind--mastery of major schools of thought (including science, mathematics, and history) and of at least one professional craft; the Synthesizing mind--ability to integrate ideas from different disciplines or spheres into a coherent whole and to communicate that integration to others; the Creating mind--capacity to uncover and clarify new problems, questions, and phenomena; the Respectful mind--awareness of and appreciation for differences among human beings and human groups; and the Ethical mind--fulfillment of one's responsibilities as a worker and citizen. World-renowned for his theory of multiple intelligences, Gardner takes that thinking to the next level in this book, drawing from a wealth of diverse examples to illuminate his ideas. Concise and engaging, "Five Minds for the Future" will inspire lifelong learning in any reader and provide valuable insights for those charged with training and developing organizational leaders--both today and tomorrow.

 

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I earn a few cents.  Thank you!!

The Beauty of 360 Communication

Being conscious of how you communicate and having a well-thought out strategy is key to being an effective and influential communicator.
We come into contact with so many different people during the course of a normal week, we can't just have one mode or style of communicating. Your boss, your direct report(s), your partner, your clients, your colleagues - they all need and expect different things from you. Being able to communicate in the appropriate way and match those needs will make your life easier!
I call this 360° Communication and here are a few tools and techniques you can employ to deal with those different groups of people:
1) Your Boss
He/she is expecting you to do your job, that's why they hired you so when they interact with you, they want to hear about what you've been doing especially the things you have completed that will make their life easier.
• Keep positive - if you have a challenge then have a solution as well
• No surprises - as much as you may not want to tell them something, honesty is always the best policy. If it's a genuine mistake then admit it, be upfront and give your Manager a chance to prepare for any fall-out there may be. Depending on what it is, your Manager may be as much on the line as you so have him as your ally as opposed to your enemy
• Be inclusive - don't complain about other people to your boss. Don't be seen to be self-seeking or obsequious, it's not attractive and only makes you sound desperate. Like the 'comedian' who can only make people laugh by poking fun at others; be credible and great at what you do without having to malign your colleagues
2) Your Direct Report
Just as you will want to impress your boss, your direct reports will want to do the same thing with you, or at least your high performing direct reports will. They also need something in return - they need to hear information from you about the business, they need to know how their job fits in with that and contributes to the bigger picture. The also need to know you care about them and their development. Lots of things huh?! Here are a couple of easy ways you can meet those needs:
• Set the Communication temperature - set up regular briefings with the team informing them of things happening in the business, within their department and even the industry. Let them know that open communication is a given and that you are committed to sharing things with them and giving them an opportunity to share their own ideas.
• Set up regular Engagement Interviews - these need to only be once a quarter or maybe twice a year depending on how many people you have in your team. Spend at least 1hr speaking to individual direct reports about what they are passionate about, what they enjoy about their job, how you can make their lives easier, why they stay with the Company. This information is like gold dust and will give you great insights in to how your team can be more productive and how to keep them engaged.
3) Your Client
This can be one of the more difficult relationships to manage as it really is about positive influence, without any positional power. You need to rely on your personal power - the traits you have that set you apart and make you someone your Client wants to do business with. Be a person with integrity, who can be relied upon to do good work. Build a track record based on success and delivery. Be an expert in your field and use your knowledge and network to add value to your Client. All good in theory right, so how do you put this into practice:
• Be a skillful enquirer - ask lots of questions, gather information and really understand your Client, the needs they have and where you can help and add value. Have a Question Strategy - think about the questions you will ask at the next meeting, use open questions to encourage your Client to talk and share and make sure you plan enough time so it doesn't feel rushed and like it's the Spanish Inquisition
• Know Their Style - we all have a preferred style of communication. Some of us like data, others value relationships; some like to make decisions and do so relatively quickly and others prefer to consider all angles and make a more informed decision, over a period of time. There is no better way but we have more in common with some styles than others and that can impact how well we communicate and ultimately influence. Knowing if your Client is more about data or relationships could be the key to getting the next deal signed!
So, ultimately, it's all about knowing how to change your communication style to suit others and having an arsenal of tools and techniques you can readily deploy for any given situation. Good luck!
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Based in Singapore and proud of her English heritage, Sarah Schubert unleashes people's potential through their voices. Many Leaders and subsequently businesses struggle to excite, energise and lead people through business growth. They don't talk enough or when they do they say the wrong thing or say it in the wrong way, leading to confusion and misunderstanding. Sarah coaches and trains Leaders to use their voice and communication skills to empower and excite people; she partners with businesses to implement transparent and successful communication strategies to ensure everyone is aligned. Success does speak for itself - would you like to know how?
Visit her website http://www.newvoicecommunications.com, email her at sarah.schubert@newvoicecommunications.com or call her on +65 9789 0802 for more information on the services offered.

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For Pivotal Gold Members this week

How to have better family conversations
Sadly, many families and groups of friends who come together during the holiday season have only superficial conversations. However, by using some simple agreements and some questions as conversation-starters, they can have a much richer and more enjoyable time of sharing their life experiences.
First, what gets in the way?
Five main impediments to quality family conversations:
 
Public Speaking Tips: More Hiding Places for Your Notes
1. I sometimes place a chair, back to audience, next to my prop or projection table. I may take off my
 coat and place it over the chair, but I also use the chair back to tape up notes, or even put them in the seat.

Learn How to Control Anger in a Relationship
Keep in mind that anger is controllable and a choice that you can choose to do something about if you want. If you tell your spouse or partner when you are angry, then it will help avoid a situation that could be otherwise pushed to the boiling point.
Are you beginning to see how choosing to control your anger is an important first step?

Discounted price for books

Bones are Forever by Kathy Reichs 13% off

For Pivotal Gold + Members only

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker - 43% off

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The Power of Words

Did you see this when it went viral on Facebook? It really is a powerful reminder that every word we use has an impact - in our sales presentations, our speeches, whatever their desired outcomes and our marketing - not to mention any communication that we use.

Seven Ways to Be a Better Listener

Pivotal Behind the Magic

Most people have had a phone call or even been in someone's office to discuss an important topic and have left the conversation feeling like they were not heard at all. What was it about that experience that didn't work? The person you were talking to was a bad listener. We've all been there - distracted, busy, uninterested... there are a million reasons that we make up for not listening to another person. It's time to ditch the excuses and become a better listener.

Why do I need to be a better listener?

1) Opportunity to hear new ideas that may spark innovation and new ways of thinking

2) Respect for the individual in front of you whether it's on the phone or in person

3) Great leaders listen to others because they know that a basic human need is to be truly heard

Ready for the good news? Effective listening does not mean long drawn out conversations! It's not about the length of the discussion (time); it's the quality of the interaction that is most important. Regardless if the conversations you participate in are scheduled or impromptu, you can be a better listener by actively applying the following seven steps.

1) Stop what you're doing - When someone asks for your time and you agree to give it to them, stop whatever tasks you were in the middle of doing and get ready to listen.

2) Resist the urge to multitask - IMs popping up on your screen? Emails flowing in like a waterfall? If you're on the phone, turn your back on your computer and turn your Smartphone upside down and ignore it. If you're in person, you can still turn away from your computer or better yet, if possible, close your laptop.

3) Don't interrupt over and over and over (WAIT) - Remember to WAIT when speaking with others (Why Am I Talking). If they can't get a word in edgewise because you're sharing your knowledge and experience, asking a ton of questions like a firing squad, or giving direction, the person you are speaking to will not feel heard because they could hardly get their thoughts out.

4) Get out of your own head (stop the internal dialog) - When you catch yourself going over your next point in your head, or going over your grocery list or anything else for that matter - STOP. Listening is about hearing the other person and you can only do that if you're really focusing on what they have to say.

5) Ask questions - Seek to understand! Confused on a point? Ask questions for greater clarity. Unsure of the objective? Ask what they want to see happen. Your questions will not only keep you actively engaged in the conversation but will also help the speaker clarify and get value from your conversation as well.

6) Playback - Summarize the feeling and content of the conversation. It will serve to ensure you're on the same page and to give you an opportunity to keep the discussion moving forward. Try phrases like: "What I hear you saying is..." "It sounds like..." "Is this a fair summary of what's you're saying?" "I can really hear your passion around this topic"

7) Confirm any action points - If there are action items for either one of you, make sure that they are explicitly restated at the end. Others will appreciate that you know where things are heading and you're on board.

The path to becoming a star listener will take some time but those that interact with you will reap the benefits and in the long run, so will you.

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Alli Polin is the founder and president of Break the Frame, LLC. She works with leaders to create stronger and more intentional cultures and truly great places to work through change management and organization and leadership development. Alli is driven by the knowledge that leadership confidence, competence, creativity, innovation, and inspiration can transform any individual or organization and successfully propel them into the future. For more information please visit http://www.breaktheframe.com or contact Alli at alli@breaktheframe.com.

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How language transformed humanity

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Effective communication – engaging

The goal of effective communication should be for listeners to say, "Me, too!" versus "So what?"

Jim Rohn

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Putting Your Best Face Forward

Researchers who study how babies acquire language have demonstrated that babies begin learning very early which sounds are relevant to the language that surrounds them. Babies learn so early to categorize sounds, in fact, that infants being raised as bilingual can even differentiate between the sounds of two languages they have never before heard.

One theory of how babies recognize a sound as belonging to one language or another is that they are using not only their ears but their eyes to understand language. They pay attention to visual cues, to the movement of the face, especially the lips, as a person speaks.

The idea that visual information affects speech perception is not new and is probably something you've noticed. Watching a dubbed film, for example, presents a problem to most viewers at first because they cannot reconcile the sounds they are hearing with the shapes of the mouths speaking the film's original language. Such incongruity makes words hard to understand. About 35 years ago, in fact, researchers Harry McGurk and John McDonald demonstrated that humans use both visual and auditory information in speech perception. For most of us, vision triumphs; what we see can alter what we hear.

It's called the McGurk effect.

SPEAKING UP
What does the McGurk effect mean to you as a presenter? => http://bit.ly/kTRboF