-- Mariah Burton Nelson (Mariah@MariahBurtonNelson.com)

What does the audience hear when the speaker says "Good evening"?

"Blah, blah, blah."

If the speaker then proceeds to thank the introducer, the committee, the... see what I mean? I don't even want to finish that sentence, because I'm going to lose your attention -- just as you will lose the audience's attention if you drone on and on, thanking people.

I call this the Blah Blah Blah Opener. The audience has sat through this opening so many times, they literally won't hear you; they'll just wait (if you're lucky) for something more substantial to come along.

Don't bore your audience to death before you've even hinted at your main point. Did Abraham Lincoln open with, "Greetings ladies and gentlemen. I'm so glad to be here in Gettysburg"? No.
He dove right in: "Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." How can you not keep listening after that?

I know: You want to -- and need to -- thank people. But you can thank people toward the end of the speech, when the audience has already enjoyed a rousing call to action, or a poignant story, or an intriguing new theory, or whatever the speech is intended to convey. At that point, a few "thank-you's" don't detract from anything, because the "anything" is almost over.

How, then, should you open a speech, if not with "Good evening. I'm so glad to be here in ______, and I'd like to thank blah blah blah"? Say something interesting instead! Make a provocative statement. Challenge the audience to think about, or do, something new. Promise them you'll soon reveal the answer to some mystery -- or otherwise build suspense. Tell a lighthearted story about someone the audience knows well. Describe your morning -- if you can make it funny and relevant. Ask a question -- a real question that you're curious to see how the audience will answer, so you can get to know them better.

All of these openings will immediately signal the audience that you're NOT going to be a typical boring speaker, and that they're in for a treat.

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here," said Lincoln at the dedication of that Gettysburg battlefield. As it turns out, he was wrong about the world forgetting what he said. We do remember. Good thing he didn't start with a Blah Blah Blah Opener or the audience might never have heard the rest!