Through a slight lack of awareness, I made a chance at a good interaction less than it could have been.
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By the time each of us has lived on this earth for fifteen years and above, something challenging, life threatening, integrity rubbishing, heart-rending, etc might have happened to us.
These kinds of things do not stop happening to us as the years go by either as a result of our great experiences in life or wisdom. Adversity, trials, temptations, heartaches, sicknesses, accidents and deaths of loved ones are intertwined with our very existence on this earth. Many of us start experiencing and suffering the impact of these at very tender ages and may live with such most of our earth life.
My father was a man who probably saw many of such in his life. He lived to be three score and thirteen years of age by our own guessing from the stories told of his age mates whose parents or senior siblings had western education and were able to keep a record of their dates of birth. He was fatherless at a young age and was persecuted by his father’s brothers. The last born of his father and mother who did not have the benefit of being supported by his father who died early in life, he was given up for someone who would turn up to no good.
One of the things we learned from our father is his excitement for having come thus far in life in spite of everything.
He was able to get married and had eleven of us by his one wife. Nine survived into adulthood, one died as a few days old infant while another died as a child.
Before he died, he did look back on his life and expressed gratitude for his achievements in raising children and securing the name of his father from extinction. He taught us many things in his conversations and counsels.
One of the things he repeated many times when he visited with any of us who were troubled and when he visited with sorrowing families who have lost a dear one is that “one does not get lost the year his goat got lost”.
In those days, this statement did not make much sense to me. But today with age, experience and personal desire and philosophy to help and support people to work through their life’s challenges as a life and personal development coach, I see the great point that my father was making as he counselled and supported us growing up and as he counselled with grieving families.
There is a popular saying that relates to this philosophy of my father - “It is not what happened to you that would hurt you, it is how you react to it.” When we react negatively to challenging situations in our lives, we get more impacted by the adversity. But if we would stop, think deeply (not worry) about what has happened to us, we would usually get insights that help us respond rather than react to the incident or situation.
The next time you face challenging situations, adversity, trials and temptations, it would be helpful if you would remember this philosophy of my father which means that you should not be destroyed by what has happened to you. If you would, you may, instead, follow the counsels contained in my book, “Growing From Your Experiences” to learn ways you could convert the life’s challenges, trials, temptations and adversity into opportunities for growth in wisdom and wealth.
Francis Nmeribe is a personal transformation teacher and industrial security practitioner from Nigeria. Contact Francis Nmeribe at http://bit.ly/2hvoWAm
"You gotta be crazy!" That's what Lee Dunham's friends told him back in 1971 when he gave up a secure job as a police officer and invested his life savings in the notoriously risky restaurant business. This particular restaurant was more than just risky, it was downright dangerous. It was the first McDonald's franchise in the city of New York - smack in the middle of crime-ridden Harlem.
Lee had always had plans. When other kids were playing ball in the empty lots of Brooklyn, Lee was playing entrepreneur, collecting milk bottles and returning them to grocery stores for the deposits. He had his own shoeshine stand and worked delivering newspapers and groceries. Early on, he promised his mother that one day she would never again have to wash other people's clothes for a living. He was going to start his own business and support her. "Hush your mouth and do your homework," she told him. She knew that no member of the Dunham family had ever risen above the level of laborer, let alone owned a business. "There's no way you're going to open your own business," his mother told him repeatedly.
Years passed, but Lee's penchant for dreaming and planning did not. After high school, he joined the Air Force, where his goal of one day owning a family restaurant began to take shape. He enrolled in the Air Force food service school and became such an accomplished cook he was promoted to the officers' dining hall.
When he left the Air Force, he worked for four years in several restaurants, including one in the famed Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York. Lee longed to start his own restaurant but felt he lacked the business skills to be successful. He signed up for business school and took classes at night while he applied and was hired to be a police officer.
For fifteen years he worked full-time as a police officer. In his off-hours, he worked part-time as a carpenter and continued to attend business school. "I saved every penny I earned as a police officer," he recalled. "For ten years, I didn't spend one dime - there were no movies, no vacations, no trips to the ballpark. There were only work and study and my lifelong dream of owning my own business." By 1971, Lee had saved $42,000, and it was time for him to make his vision a reality.
Lee wanted to open an upscale restaurant in Brooklyn. With a business plan in hand, he set out to seek financing. The banks refused him. Unable to get funding to open an independent restaurant, Lee turned to franchising and filled out numerous applications. McDonald's offered him a franchise, with one stipulation: Lee had to set up a McDonald's in the inner-city, the first to be located there. McDonald's wanted to find out if its type of fast-food restaurant could be successful in the inner city. It seemed that Lee might be the right person to operate that first restaurant.
To get the franchise, Lee would have to invest his life savings and borrow $150,000 more. Everything for which he'd worked and sacrificed all those years would be on the line - a very thin line if he believed his friends. Lee spent many sleepless nights before making his decision. In the end, he put his faith in the years of preparation he'd invested - the dreaming, planning, studying and saving - and signed on the dotted line to operate the first inner-city McDonald's in the United States.
The first few months were a disaster. Gang fights, gunfire, and other violent incidents plagued his restaurant and scared customers away. Inside, employees stole his food and cash, and his safe was broken into routinely. To make matters worse, Lee couldn't get any help from McDonald's headquarters; the company's representatives were too afraid to venture into the ghetto. Lee was on his own.
Although he had been robbed of his merchandise, his profits, and his confidence, Lee was not going to be robbed of his dream. Lee fell back on what he had always believed in - preparation and planning.
Lee put together a strategy. First, he sent a strong message to the neighborhood thugs that McDonald's wasn't going to be their turf. To make his ultimatum stick, he needed to offer an alternative to crime and violence. In the eyes of those kids, Lee saw the same look of helplessness he had seen in his own family. He knew that there was hope and opportunity in that neighborhood and he was going to prove it to the kids. He decided to serve more than meals to his community - he would serve solutions.
Lee spoke openly with gang members, challenging them to rebuild their lives. Then he did what some might say was unthinkable: he hired gang members and put them to work. He tightened up his operation and conducted spot checks on cashiers to weed out thieves. Lee improved working conditions and once a week he offered his employees classes in customer service and management. He encouraged them to develop personal and professional goals. He always stressed two things: his restaurant offered a way out of a dead-end life and the faster and more efficiently the employees served the customers, the more lucrative that way would be.
In the community, Lee sponsored athletic teams and scholarships to get kids off the streets and into community centers and schools. The New York inner-city restaurant became McDonald's most profitable franchise worldwide, earning more than $1.5 million a year. Company representatives who wouldn't set foot in Harlem months earlier now flocked to Lee's doors, eager to learn how he did it. To Lee, the answer was simple: "Serve the customers, the employees, and the community."
Today, Lee Dunham owns nine restaurants, employs 435 people, and serves thousands of meals every day. It's been many years since his mother had to take in wash to pay the bills. More importantly, Lee paved the way for thousands of African-American entrepreneurs who are working to make their dreams a reality, helping their communities, and serving up hope.
All this was possible because a little boy understood the need to dream, to plan, and to prepare for the future. In doing so, he changed his life and the lives of others.
Author: Cynthia Kersey
Excerpted/Adapted from Unstoppable
Copyright 1988 by Cynthia Kersey, www.unstoppable.net
While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about. You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly? Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me!
Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jetway, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, and movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes, and replied softly, "Me too, Dad!"
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9 or 10) and while cupping his son's face in his hands he said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary
While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi babygirl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder and remained motionless in total pure contentment.
After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, "I love you so much!" They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"
"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those," he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face. "Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile and told me, "Two whole days!"
Two days?! I was stunned! I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me. So I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"
The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with an intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope friend...decide." Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!" With that, he and his family turned and energetically strode away together
I was still watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"
Michael D. Hargrove
© Copyright 1997 by Michael D. Hargrove. All rights reserved. Used with author's permission. Visit Michael's website at: www.bluinc.com
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.
She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that, as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen.
She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.
Soon the pots came to a boil.
In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.
She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the young woman replied.
The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened!
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" the mother asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong but, with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?
Did I have a fluid spirit but, after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
Once I got past the awe of witnessing Mother Nature’s astonishing power to wreak devastation in Oklahoma, I was awed by something more positive and uplifting: the instinctive capacity of our species to care about, come to the aid of, and — for those caught in the middle of the calamity — to even sacrifice their own lives for others.
Every day we are surrounded by examples of the dark side of human nature — selfishness, greed, dishonesty and cruelty — which make it hard to resist cynicism. It’s a pity that it often takes a disaster and the heroic actions it evokes to provide compelling contrary evidence, to remind us of the best in human nature.
How can one resist tears hearing of the teachers in Oklahoma who put themselves at risk by shielding children with their own bodies?
I suspect lots of other adults would have reacted in a similar fashion, but I think teachers really are special.
With the current focus on competence and accountability in education, we tend to undervalue one of the most important qualities of most teachers: their genuine sense of responsibility and affection for the children they teach.
Over and over we’ve seen the powerful instinct of teachers to protect children in school shootings and, more recently, in the horrific tornadoes.
Teachers willingly and without hesitation treated children as their own and put themselves at risk to protect them.
It should be a comfort to parents to know how much teachers really care.
Henry Adams once said, “Teachers affect all eternity. You never know where their influence stops.” He was referring to the way they shape lives by transmitting information and learning skills, but teachers often do so much more. Though only rarely called upon to risk their lives, they regularly touch the lives of students with their commitment and love.
It’s been said that kids don’t care what you know unless they know that you care. Let’s do all we can to commend, congratulate and celebrate teachers who show how much they care.
Remember, character counts.
Michael Josephson
www.whatwillmatter.com
What was the most challenging period of your life? What was the hardest, most difficult time in your journey?
Is it possible that this event was the best thing that ever happened to you?
Watch Jack discuss this counter-intuitive idea that can help you turn adversity into triumph.
I'm the only one who does anything around here!
Several years ago I was on a late-night television show in New York City. For some strange reason, they wanted me in the studio that afternoon at 4:30. I walked in and was stunned by the small size of the reception area. It contained a couch for three, a chair for one and a sink, refrigerator and coffee maker.
As I sat down a woman walked in, shook her head and said, "Nobody makes any coffee except me!" She got busy and started a fresh pot of coffee. A few minutes later a guy walked in and, following the same procedure said, "I can't believe it! This place would be a pig-pen if it weren't for me! I'm the only person who ever does any clean-up," and he cleaned up the small area. Still later another woman walked in and complained, "Nobody ever puts anything up but me," and she proceeded to put things away.
Interestingly enough, all three of those people sincerely felt they were the only ones who ever did anything. Each one did their own private halo-adjustment as they went through the process of "making up, putting up and cleaning up."
Question: Is that the way it is in your company, where "nobody does anything," but everybody thinks they're the only one who actually works?
Thought: If that is true and you are the only one who does anything, think of the incredible advantage that gives you. Not only do you have job security, but the opportunity door is wide open for your move to the top.
However, if you have a chip on your shoulder, if you honestly feel that you do everything and you share that feeling with others, your bad attitude negates your good work.
So, stay busy, keep working, smile about it and your good attitude about "doing everything" will catch up with you. Think about it and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 27 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.
I received an e-mail with a story worth sharing. Only the names have been changed to preserve privacy.
Doug is the proud and loving father of Emma, a high school junior who takes a leadership class responsible for putting on dances and other student events. All student body officers must take the class, but a number of other kids like Emma who just like to participate are also enrolled. Well, Emma is a little different and she's becoming more aware of those differences. Recently, she began to tell her father through tears, "I don't like having Down's Syndrome."
Doug comforted and encouraged his daughter the best he could, but he admits he always wonders how her classmates really perceive her. Do they just tolerate or patronize her, or do they see the richness of her character and appreciate her sense of humor and the beauty of her heart?
These concerns came into play when he visited Emma at a school event where she was working at a table with the student body president, a handsome kid named Chris. Later, Emma announced that Chris had invited her to the homecoming dance. Doug was doubtful and afraid that she might be embarrassed or hurt if she misunderstood. So he checked with the leadership teacher, who discreetly confirmed it was true. This extraordinary young man asked Emma to accompany him to dinner and the dance.
Doug was moved to tears and confessed he was ashamed he doubted this could happen.
He wrote of his joy seeing his daughter prepare for one of the greatest days in her life. And he marveled at the kindness and self-confidence of the young man who was able to see and care about the inner Emma.
Doug was rightfully proud of Emma, but how good would you feel to be Chris's parents?
Author: Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org
I love stories like this - real stories from real people - that inspire and remind us of our humanity. And it's beautiful to be able to share them with you.
So I welcome stories from you too. Do you have a story to share?
Please send me your story to share. It's a simple matter of filling in a few boxes with your details and cutting and pasting your story into one of them. Just go to this page and do it!... http://bit.ly/1xbNT41
How did Goldilocks find the three bears' cottage without a GPS?
I believe her inner GPS—her heart's desires—led her there in three easy steps.
She knew what she wanted. She encountered what she didn't want, but used that feedback to gain clarity. And then she attracted her desired results.
I'm going to share how I learned to manifest a life that is "just right" in so many ways. And I did it with simple shifts in my thinking that anyone can learn.
Six years ago, my husband passed away after a long illness. When his cancer was diagnosed three years before that, we sold our award-winning construction company. In the course of over twenty years, we'd created custom swimming pools, ponds, and waterfalls for A-list clients like Brad Pitt, Will Smith, James Coburn, Aaron Spelling, John Stamos, and more.
While my husband Bill's health declined, so did the housing and stock markets. My financial safety net collapsed. After Bill died, I embarked on my long-held dream of being a full-time writer, but success eluded me. I fell prey to my mindset that Bill was the one who knew how to make money—not me! I had never even closed a sale. How would I support myself in my dream life?
I knew that if I didn't change something fast, results would spiral downward, so, about five years ago, I began studying with great teachers in personal development. I became a certified coach, so I could share the process of transformation with others.
A year ago, I decided to sell our big house. My husband was gone. Our daughter was engaged and living in New York City. I knew that I had a choice: feel upset at leaving after fifteen years in a wonderful view home, or manifest a fabulous new adventure as a single woman in her golden years.
What Is The Purpose Of Life? The Top 3 Ways To Finding Meaning In Your Life (It’s Never Too Late)
I began picturing my ideal daily life. How would I feel waking up, walking my Golden retriever Sugar Bear, writing, coaching clients virtually, stargazing, socializing? Images in my mind led me to a 1953 ranch house that most people would've scorned for being too rustic. Yet I've enjoyed a magical, creative year here, writing four books, starting three more, and launching a new venture as a toymaker.
Now it's time to move on. My writer's retreat will soon make way for a house befitting its multi-million dollar neighbors. I must bid farewell to four-legged friends I visit daily: horses who trot to greet me, and Danny the alpaca who has a sweet tooth for grapes.
To get ready for my next phase, I began visualizing another "just right" home. I looked at rentals online, and some in person. They were too hot or too cold! I held to my vision and expectations that what I desired was already mine. And we found each other. Further, since our heavenly Creator loves to surprise and delight us when we align with a beautiful life, the garden features my favorites: roses, jasmine, lavender, and a lime tree. Neighbors have dogs; Sugar Bear is welcome. The piano teacher next door feared a new tenant would complain about classical music—I invited her to drop in and inspire me to play my own piano again.
"Just right" adventures don't happen by chance. But we can learn how to deliberately entice them into our lives. What are your thoughts attracting? Is it something you'll love when it lands at your doorstep? Or will you try to fling it away and declare, "I never ordered that cold porridge!"
I used to think my circumstances were a matter of luck. Today I understand we can have 100% control over our thoughts, and choose the results we want to experience and enjoy. Life can and should be a fun and delightful "just right" adventure in creativity, joy and expansion.
Evelyn Brooks
Evelyn Roberts Brooks is a bestselling author, speaker, success coach, and toymaker. She's offering an exclusive gift for Insight of the Day readers. Use code INSIGHT to get 50% off all e-courses and products in her online store through August 15, 2014. To visit Evelyn's store and claim your bonus gifts, go to: http://evelynbrooks.com/store
