The Art of Persuasion
The Godfather may be able to make people offers they "can't refuse," but for the rest of us persuasion will get us much further than force. The ability to influence people without threats, bribes, or manipulation will greatly assist in your negotiations. While negotiation involves reaching an agreement on price or specific terms of a contract, persuasion involves getting people to go along with your point of view or to see it your way. Good negotiators are also good persuaders. The skills go hand in hand. Persuasion, just like negotiation, involves much more than we can cover in this small section, so let us look at some of the personal characteristics you can develop to become more persuasive and charismatic.
Charisma is hard to define. It is the rare quality that makes people like you; makes them want to follow you, to be around you, to be influenced by you. Some people seem to ooze with it, while others could not seem to buy it if they were millionaires. Think of our most popular leaders and celebrities, Presidents like Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy had charisma. Actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Denzel Washington have charisma. "The Apprentice" star Donald Trump certainly has charisma. Charisma is the quality that makes people like you, and while a certain amount may be inherited, there are things you can learn and do to increase your charisma and by doing so become more persuasive.
One of the simplest ways to develop charisma is to treat each person you meet as the most important person you know. When it comes down to it, the person who you are dealing or communicating with is the most important person in your world at that time. So treat him or her like it! One of the easiest ways to gain cooperation is to be genuinely interested in the person you are communicating with. Greet people with animation and enthusiasm while showing a genuine interest in them. Continue to treat each and every person as the most important person you know, and you will not only develop more friends in life, but also loyalty from employees, loyalty from customers, and people discussing your charisma. People are our greatest resource, and people are what make the world go around. So treat people well, be genuinely interested in them, and you will reap many rewards in return.
Another very simple way to develop and increase charisma is to smile. In "How To Win Friends & Influence People," Dale Carnegie wrote, "Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. And he was probably understating the truth." A smile says "I like you." It is a universal gesture, and one of the first learned. Smile at a three month old baby and what does the baby do in return? Smiles back. There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says, "A man without a smiling face must not open a shop."
Along with your smile, develop a handshake that is neither limp nor crushing. While Donald Trump may prefer the Asian custom of bowing over the handshake, you can bet when he shakes someone's hand, it is firm and projects charisma. This is one of the reasons Sam was so awe struck when Trump shook his hand and wished him luck in week three of season one. A good, firm handshake, looking into the eyes of the person you are shaking hands, will go a long ways in establishing charisma.
Charisma is non-verbal, and that means looks matter. But if you were not blessed with good looks, all is not lost. There have been extremely charismatic and influential leaders that many would call ugly. The key to charisma is doing the best with what nature gave you. Everyone can take care of themselves and make sure their appearance is the best it can be.
Along with your charisma, develop a dynamite sense of humor. Even hostile people can be won over with the use of humor. A great sense of humor goes a long way toward persuading someone, and it can be used as a way to point out to the other person he is wrong without causing offense. The ability to laugh at ourselves and find humor in life goes a long ways toward making life more enjoyable. This in turn can decrease stress and prevent burnout. This does not mean you should be a stand-up comedian at all times, cracking jokes left and right. Do this and you will not be taken seriously, and you will have trouble developing the credibility of a person who takes things seriously. However, understanding humor, seeing the humor in life around you, and being a person with a great sense of humor will assist you in your persuasion of others.
The final point regarding persuasion is to increase your ability to remember names. Nothing is more important to people than a person's name. Develop an ability to remember names, and you will increase your persuasive power tremendously.
